SAVED BY THE BELL BEGINS (PART 2/4)

(This is the summary for my proposed big-budget reboot of Saved by the Bell, titled Saved by the Bell Begins. If you missed the intro, including casting and excessive rationale, you can find it here, and then Part 1 is here. You should probably read that first.)

Zack is thinking like he better help fix this, because that’s what his job is as an action lawyer who loves money so much more than people. He almost gets too excited about making so much hardcore money, so Zack stops the movie and says something charming to the audience about what he’s going to do next, and there’s a finger-snap-and-point that he does, to make sure everyone knows that Zack is serious about making that money and getting a bigger beach condo.

When Zack lets the movie start again, Mr. Belding sends him and Slater and Kelly to a hot dancing club called The Max, so they can meet up with the spy scientist that is helping them find out secrets about Keanu’s bad guy plans, and the spy scientist is Jessie Spano. During some cool and trendy dancing and more love triangling, they find Jessie, and Zack is mad because he realizes she’s the one who shot a bazooka at his shoulder when he was on the water-blimp.

That’s when Zack starts to know how serious this is, because he remembers seeing all the big silos of bronchitis on the water-blimp, and he gives those clues to Jessie to work on all night, and she plans to take lots of over-the-counter stay-awake pills to be able to do that, and she’s so excited about it. Because his dancing is too great and slick, Slater gets in a pushing match with the rival football players from Valley City, so that’s a fist-fight to have at this part of the movie. Zack and Slater are both trying to impress Kelly with their good punching they can do, but she knows sexy mini-skirt karate, and she can vote in all the same elections they can, also.

When they get done doing all the fighting, Keanu’s secret service men arrest Zack and Slater, and take them to the first nuclear oil rig field, so Keanu can give them a speech about not messing with his cool and important fossil fuel-based plans. Then the first bit of nuclear oil comes out, and Keanu tastes it, and it’s the good stuff for sure, and that’s another meme. He gets ominous about telling them to stop asking so many questions, and then tells his government fashion nurse, who is Lisa Turtle, to fix them up and then let them go, so that his men can capture them and beat them up again, and she’s supposed to have this go on for a week.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

(Wow. Part 3 tomorrow – if you found this to be a thing that you liked, you should go read my movie book, Brad Radby’s Brad Radby, which is online over here and costs you nothing. Keanu has won like six Presidential elections in there, as well. Also follow me on Twitter, because that’s a meme also.)