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Archive | Whore of Akron

My Sister is Worse With Money Than Me

brian spaethAfter my admission of falling for a $150 Image Matrix IM-911 Scam, my mom hit me up on gchat.

I now realize the entire exercise may have been some kind of triangular form of performance art, with one of the angles being getting a reaction out of mom.

mom: Your blog post has left me speechless….

me: why do you use four periods what is wrong with you….
me: mom i really had a brain freeze
me: like i knew exactly what was happening the whole time

mom: Why didn’t you just get in your car and drive away?

me: i dunno they were really nice lol

mom: Crooks aren’t NICE! arggggg
mom: Next time you have $150 burning a hole in your pocket, send it to me!

me: I actually was going to put it in an envelope and mail it to you yesterday afternoon is the funny thing
me: the way i see it it was gone anyway
me: if it wasn’t a black market home theater it would’ve been a black market pair of jordans or a year’s supply of target advil off the black market

mom: What is wrong with you….

me: i love the black market lol

mom: Somewhere we went wrong with you two….Remember the time I found money in Kristen’s wastebasket at home? It had a bunch of crunched up money in it. She threw the bills away because they were WRINKLED!

me: do you still have those bills anywhere i want to spend them

In the end, it’s all fine. I got to have a nice chat with my Mom, made some new con-artist friends, and further reinforced that I can’t take care of myself yet.

Besides, when I get to make stuff like this, how can I possibly complain about my life.