Go check out my books and then trade money dollars for them.

The All-New Adventures of Mature Man – Number 8 Was in My Email Newsletter and Will Make You Want To Parasail

mature-man-classic-2If you opened my latest email newsletter, you know all about the singularly unique stock photo human known as Mature Man.

Not sure why I didn’t check before, but there’s an entire saga-load of Mature Man photos over there.

The actual photo titles are below each photo. The rest is mine.

1) “Hi, I’m Mature Man. My powers are knowing that I’ll never survive the doldrums of my office job. You might say I’m mature enough to know that my empty shelves are a metaphor for my soul.”

Mature man sleeping at office with calculator in hand and computer and papers on desk

Mature man sleeping at office with calculator in hand and computer and papers on desk

2) “That’s why I quit my job and started working from home. My cousin told me I can find a way to make money and help contribute to the household income from right in my own living room, using the magic of the internet and a strong personal brand!”

Photo of mature man, looking forward while sitting down at glass table, working from home with fireplace in background

Photo of mature man, looking forward while sitting down at glass table, working from home with fireplace in background

3) “Say there, Family Cat, from what I’m reading on this computer screen, we might be able to make you into a revenue-generating internet meme…!”

Photo of mature man reading computer screen, with family cat in his lap, while working from home with fireplace in background

Photo of mature man reading computer screen, with family cat in his lap, while working from home with fireplace in background

4) “Mature Woman, now look at this interesting information. They even sell t-shirts of Grumpy Cat!”

“It’s great. Really, I love it, but I have to get to the office.”

“I know I can do this with Family Cat.”

“Mature Man, are you going to work, or…?”

“Family and Grumpy even have the same number of letters!”

Photo of close mature couple looking at information on the computer screen together with fireplace in background

Photo of close mature couple looking at information on the computer screen together with fireplace in background

5) “I just need to think of the perfect meme to make Family Cat turn into a viral video meme video…maybe something will come to me while I put the battery in this electric lawnmower.”

Photo of mature man putting in battery in electric lawnmower on freshly cut plush green grass with home in background

Photo of mature man putting in battery in electric lawnmower on freshly cut plush green grass with home in background

6) “Just need some input to make this viral meme video happen…maybe if I read outdoors while enjoying orange juice. Lots and lots of orange juice.”

Mature Man enjoying orange juice while preparing to read outdoor

Mature Man enjoying orange juice while preparing to read outdoor

7) “C’mon Godaddy…familycat.com…be there for me…”

Mature Man showing positive emotion while working from home

Mature Man showing positive emotion while working from home

8) “I don’t know how familycat.com could be taken…it was meant to be…”

“This blank paper is a metaphor for your life.”

Mature Couple working on Urgent Matter from thier Home

Mature Couple working on Urgent Matter from thier Home

9) “Is this water actually orange juice in disguise? Mature Man! You promised me!”

“The domain was taken…hahaa…why so serious…”

Photo of mature woman angry at man drinking too much with fireplace in background

Photo of mature woman angry at man drinking too much with fireplace in background

10) “Hahaaaa…stop showing so much depression…I’ll just start a blog…”

“You sold your computer for juice money.”

Photo of mature woman, showing depression, cleaning glass table with alcoholic husband in background

Photo of mature woman, showing depression, cleaning glass table with alcoholic husband in background

11) “She has no idea about my vitamin c tabs.”

Mature Man preparing to take his medicine with water while lying in bed

Mature Man preparing to take his medicine with water while lying in bed

You can see the full Mature Man photoset on canstockphoto. If you happen to be Mature Man or the photographer, please contact me – I have a zillion questions about this shoot.

10 Pieces of Oldboy Trivia You Can’t Find in Google

I recently watched Spike Lee’s US remake of Oldboy, the famous Korean film I’ve never seen.

I quite liked it, and am not sure how/why it was met with such malaise. Maybe the original was just the good. (Not that more than 1% of These United States of America had heard of it.)

In any, case, I had a ton of unanswered questions after my viewing, and went to Google, and what’s up with the extra comma at the start of this sentence.

No answers to any of this, btw:

oldboy trivia

I feel like that comma is so beautiful now.