The Shoulder Injury, Oprah

By On April 6, 2009 · 35 Comments · In Books, Brad Radby, Misc, Weightlifting

(Personal Wolverine – 1 and 2 are good sized and in regular rotation – the others are secondary, and only appear on special occasions.

I know I could give them promotions with the right training and perhaps performance enhancing drugs.)

Here, at long last – the true story of my dislocated shoulder, and my subsequent fear/passion with shoulder injuries.

Getting your shoulder hurt is like the worst thing ever – I’d rather have a broken face than a damaged shoulder, and I’ve had both, so no frontin’.

(If you’ve been reading the Brad Radby book, you know he shares my obsession with getting a hurt shoulder – this is probably my favorite instance of it.)

Anyway, I dislocated my shoulder in college, wrestling in the front room of my fraternity house, and for weeks afterward, it was all swollen and horrible, and I couldn’t lift my arm above my head at all.

For the record, the exact sound I made when it happened was, “AACCH-GERRGHHH!!! OH NO!!! MY SHOULDER!!!”

I guess I don’t really have a point, other than this would be a fantastic reason to go on Oprah. She would ask me all about it, and I could say interesting things like:

“Yeah, it hurt so bad.”

“Oh man, I hope that never happens again.”

“Who all seen my dislocated shoulder – that’s kinda where I was coming from on it.”

“Let me tell you, if I see a wall, and someone who wants to wrestle me, I’m outta there.”

“At first I thought it was dislocated, and it turned out I was right.”

“I’ve also sprained my ankle before. Not even half as painful as dislocating my shoulder.”

“It hurt…it just…hurt…” (Followed by a slow, emotional breakdown into tears – real ones.)

“Sometimes, I wonder if my shoulder is really back in place at all, y’know?”

Yeah, that’s all – please tell me of your shoulder injuries, and I’ll compile them into a new book, In Times of Dislocation: A Story of Shoulders.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

 
  • Benny08302

    I too have dislocated my shoulder. Intramural Ice Hockey, followed by various basketball games. Good times. Even had surgery, which really didn't do much besides cost a ton of money.

    Also, I think I'm the roudie henchman in the photo.

  • Benny08302

    I too have dislocated my shoulder. Intramural Ice Hockey, followed by various basketball games. Good times. Even had surgery, which really didn't do much besides cost a ton of money.

    Also, I think I'm the roundie henchman in the photo.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    I feel as though I should have witnessed this, but I don't remember the incident. What I do remember is the not being able to lift your arm above your head for weeks, and big bags of ice. Giant bags of ice and ace bandages.

    My shoulder injury was also ice hockey – on the pond down the street from my house when I was a kid. (I am French-Canadian, after all) It popped out and I popped it back in myself, and I couldn't do anything with it for a week. I was pretty much paralyzed in my left arm. Then it turned back to normal and has been fine since, except for a little clicking sound when I stretch it. Then again, I'm not a lefty, so I've never tried throwing anything with it. Maybe I'd throw like a girl or something.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    I feel as though I should have witnessed this, but I don't remember the incident. What I do remember is the not being able to lift your arm above your head for weeks, and big bags of ice. Giant bags of ice and ace bandages.

    My shoulder injury was also ice hockey – on the pond down the street from my house when I was a kid. (I am French-Canadian, after all) It popped out and I popped it back in myself, and I couldn't do anything with it for a week. I was pretty much paralyzed in my left arm. Then it turned back to normal and has been fine since, except for a little clicking sound when I stretch it. Then again, I'm not a lefty, so I've never tried throwing anything with it. Maybe I'd throw like a girl or something.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    All this is going in the book – fantastic stuff guys.

    btw Pierre did it – I think it was the only time we ever spoke to each other.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    All this is going in the book – fantastic stuff guys.

    btw Pierre did it – I think it was the only time we ever spoke to each other.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o
  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o
  • Allana

    Ouch. That sounds horrible. Never injured my shoulder specificaly. But have had a problem with my shoulder blade popping out of place spontaneously. And THAT is awful! If you've ever seen Lethal Weapon where Mel Gibson purposely pops his shoulder out of place and then slams against a wall to put it back in – that's pretty much what I have to do. Except that it doesn't always work which means I'm walking around all day not being able to turn in that direction or lift my arm due to the excruciating pain, until it finally works itself back in by itself.

    (Excuse if this repeats – there was problems posting my comment the first time.)

  • Allana

    Ouch. That sounds horrible. Never injured my shoulder specificaly. But have had a problem with my shoulder blade popping out of place spontaneously. And THAT is awful! If you've ever seen Lethal Weapon where Mel Gibson purposely pops his shoulder out of place and then slams against a wall to put it back in – that's pretty much what I have to do. Except that it doesn't always work which means I'm walking around all day not being able to turn in that direction or lift my arm due to the excruciating pain, until it finally works itself back in by itself.

    (Excuse if this repeats – there was problems posting my comment the first time.)

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    Umm…THAT sounds horrible – have you had that looked at?

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    Umm…THAT sounds horrible – have you had that looked at?

  • http://www.icanprobablydothat.com Boney

    I'd like to think that my left shoulder seperation ruined my chances at a professional baseball career.

    After playing on several all star teams in little league, I was destined to greatness.

    Then… in the final football game of my junior year.. I caught a pass out of the backfield and landed awkwardly on my shoulder and seperated it.

    I never pitched another game. I never hit the ball with authority again… my baseball career was over because of my shoulder injury.

  • http://www.icanprobablydothat.com Boney

    I'd like to think that my left shoulder seperation ruined my chances at a professional baseball career.

    After playing on several all star teams in little league, I was destined to greatness.

    Then… in the final football game of my junior year.. I caught a pass out of the backfield and landed awkwardly on my shoulder and seperated it.

    I never pitched another game. I never hit the ball with authority again… my baseball career was over because of my shoulder injury.

  • http://www.icanprobablydothat.com Boney

    very nice orange5o.

    +1

  • http://www.icanprobablydothat.com Boney

    very nice orange5o.

    +1

  • JTExperience

    Yeah, my intramural softball days were over when I separated my left one during a basketball game last year. It's happened every once in a while since then…swimming, reaching funny, other stuff…it sucks.

  • JTExperience

    Yeah, my intramural softball days were over when I separated my left one during a basketball game last year. It's happened every once in a while since then…swimming, reaching funny, other stuff…it sucks.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    What did you yell when it popped?

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    What did you yell when it popped?

  • JTExperience

    Not really a yell, just a gasp and a quiet “Oh fuck.” It was equally surprising and painful; I was like, Wow, I really did just dislocate my shoulder. It popped right back in, and that was the most painful part. Went to the doctor and the nurse was 'testing the range of motion' and popped it back out by accident; I was pretty angry with her. She thought it was funny, and I was like, “Um, that hurt.”

  • JTExperience

    Not really a yell, just a gasp and a quiet “Oh fuck.” It was equally surprising and painful; I was like, Wow, I really did just dislocate my shoulder. It popped right back in, and that was the most painful part. Went to the doctor and the nurse was 'testing the range of motion' and popped it back out by accident; I was pretty angry with her. She thought it was funny, and I was like, “Um, that hurt.”

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    i don't understand why nobody laughs when i reach funny.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    i don't understand why nobody laughs when i reach funny.

  • http://inside-outblog.blogspot.com Tammi

    I can't believe you're really collecting dislocated shoulder stories!! I might even tell you mine! OK, don't twist my arm… I will.

    Can't remember what I said when it originally happened, circa 8th grade. But I had surgery on it senior year of college, which ruined my final lax season… anyway, woke up in the middle of the surgery and apparently went on a screaming and cursing bender. Then did that again when some *hot* med student came to check on me later. Mom said it ruined my “chances with that nice looking doctor.”

    Like Alana said earlier in comments, my shoulder would pop in and out all the time. I could do this on command for years, then it just started slipping all the time and started to become painful. That said, if I could do it over, I'd never have the surgery and would rather have spent years doing physical therapy and strengthening exercises instead.

    Why? Because now I can't do those really cool cheerleading claps where your arms go out like wings. ;-)

  • http://inside-outblog.blogspot.com Tammi

    I can't believe you're really collecting dislocated shoulder stories!! I might even tell you mine! OK, don't twist my arm… I will.

    Can't remember what I said when it originally happened, circa 8th grade. But I had surgery on it senior year of college, which ruined my final lax season… anyway, woke up in the middle of the surgery and apparently went on a screaming and cursing bender. Then did that again when some *hot* med student came to check on me later. Mom said it ruined my “chances with that nice looking doctor.”

    Like Alana said earlier in comments, my shoulder would pop in and out all the time. I could do this on command for years, then it just started slipping all the time and started to become painful. That said, if I could do it over, I'd never have the surgery and would rather have spent years doing physical therapy and strengthening exercises instead.

    Why? Because now I can't do those really cool cheerleading claps where your arms go out like wings. ;-)

  • http://www.icanprobablydothat.com Boney

    as long as you can make your “you know what” clap, you should be able to make money for the rest of your life..

    if you know what I mean ;)

    :::throws a dollar on the floor:::

  • http://www.icanprobablydothat.com Boney

    as long as you can make your “you know what” clap, you should be able to make money for the rest of your life..

    if you know what I mean ;)

    :::throws a dollar on the floor:::

  • San Dova

    I'm being to think that you're totally mad.

  • San Dova

    I'm being to think that you're totally mad.

  • http://www.blackchiropractic.com.au Dr David Black

    Shoulder injuries are painful and take a long time to heal.
    Dr.David Black
    http://www.blackchiropractic.com.au

  • http://www.blackchiropractic.com.au Dr David Black

    Shoulder injuries are painful and take a long time to heal.
    Dr.David Black
    http://www.blackchiropractic.com.au

  • http://www.dcmentors.com/ chiropractic association

    Yes they are, and the pain that it gives is so horrible that it's unexplainable. That's why stories like these are always an eye opener in making sure that we take good care of ourselves.

  • http://www.dcmentors.com/ chiropractic association

    Yes they are, and the pain that it gives is so horrible that it's unexplainable. That's why stories like these are always an eye opener in making sure that we take good care of ourselves.

  • http://www.dcmentors.com/ chiropractic association

    Yes they are, and the pain that it gives is so horrible that it's unexplainable. That's why stories like these are always an eye opener in making sure that we take good care of ourselves.