(In the picture below, @alexiskn shows the first and second best uses for my book – as a placeholder for real books, and as the Tobey Maguire to her Joan Allen home.** You can see that it’s already infected that sad-face copy of Lord of the Flies.)

I was on IMDB looking up information on Robert Downey Jr, and came across 2006′s The Shaggy Dog. From the message board:
I saw this movie about six months ago on a field trip. The only reason that I chose this movie was that I only had four options. There was this girl from my group that was laughing every five minutes. Clearly she has no taste. Anyway, did Tim Allen have to be naked? I mean, what is so wrong with a dog with clothes on?
Someone follows up by pointing out that dogs don’t wear clothes. It turns into a heated discussion about who’s more stupid, and the scientific logic of a human turning into a dog in real life, and whether said dog would wear clothes or not.
This all brings me back to late 2004 or so, a time wherein I didn’t have a blog at all, and occasionally did background work in TV and movies.
You see, I spent about two weeks on The Shaggy Dog, and if you listen really closely, you might hear myself and some girl (as “Courtroom Gallery Members”) screaming, “OH F–K!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA GET AIDS!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!” when we were supposed to be “confused and a little surprised” regarding Tim Allen barking in the middle of court.
I’m not actually onscreen there as more than a shoulder, but I did make it in during the restaurant scene, when Kristin Davis is stood up by her naked dog husband. I’m the guy in the v-neck sweater fake-eating salmon. The twist is that I real-ate five plates of that stuff, and that’s because I was hungry.
I’m sure I have a ton of stories like this, but I’ve largely blocked out the +/-6 months I spent doing background actoring – it’s an awful way to spend time, although highly educational with regard to how sets work.
You can also meet lots of girls, and learn the delicate art of not committing suicide after spending a day around little kids who have better careers than you.
I’ll be at the doctor this afternoon, and will do my best to Tweet the entire thing, as mentioned the other day. First person to correctly guess what the appointment is for wins their own colorful and lifesaving copy of PTSA.
**Reading it is actually the tenth best utilization of the book.
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(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here – it’s available in paperback, or iPhone/Kindle for only 1.99.)
