The Next Twelve Posts

(I made it to the new domain…adjust your RSS feed accordingly.)

Okay, so in response to GOt’s backlash, these are all the proposed topics for the next ten blog posts, as submitted by you.

Since these were all so wonderful, I decided I’m going to cover every single one. There were twelve sets of submissions overall, so each set will get its own post. This will begin on Monday, and then nobody will ever be allowed to complain again.

These are listed in no particular order, although I’ve saved GOt’s for last, so that I can explain to him why exactly he doesn’t like what I write anymore.

This goes on…for awhile:

From T, who is apparently a picture of Derek Fisher:
1) Artest being hilarious, charming and an all around athlete.
2) Odom enjoying his candies. Mention the texture of the candies. Thnx.
3) Kobe striving to match the orange roundie status of Jordan. Mention the texture. Thx.
4) Gasol’s awesome bed-hair and slacked jawed look as he blocks the f outta guys while representin’ all European centers. Texture optional. Thx.
5) And OPERA, an old art form which rarely gets covered in blogs. Can you write about Opera and how it pertains to Belting Out Tweets. Mention the 3 Tenors if possible.

From @NDEddieMac:
1) Skree?

From @robgokeemusic:
1) What happened to your wife, Kellie Simpson?

From Wish:
1) Will the 2009-2010 Cavs be better than the 2008-2009 Cavs?
2) Who would win in a fight between @alexiskn and Becky?
3) Which is the best of the Great Lakes?
4) Best synonym to use for the word, “fight”
5) If you could have a half human/half animal body, which animal would you want your other half to be and would you want it to be the top half or the bottom half?

From the already-mentioned @alexiskn – I’ve adjusted into list format:
1) A lot more about robots.
2) You being half robot.
3) Car chases.
4) Also maybe avocados.

From TVBrain:
1. Friendster
2. The Commodore 64.
3. Will CB radios replace AM/FM radios?
4. Do you want to be a model, or just look like one?
5. Draw Skippy
6. How quickly can you flip a laser disc?
7. Why did so many people laugh at Clint Eastwood’s racist comments in Gran Torino?
8. What’s your favorite Rihanna song?
9. Wasn’t it funny when they did a medley of “We Are The World” and that completely forgettable song at the end of the MJ Memorial? Do you agree that it was a nod to how irrelevant he had been for the past 20 years?
10. Kadestyle

From joe:
1) why DC pro sports are so bad
2) “The Princess Bride”
3) Which celebrities you’ve met. Who’s cool, who’s a jerk.
4) The landmark Supreme court ruling in Bethel v. Fraser
5) Where LeBron is going in 2010 (just kidding)
6) I want you to take a look at Major League Gaming. It’s an awesome league where 10-20 year olds make six figures for playing Halo 3 professionally. Plus, Gilbert Arenas owns the most successful team in the league.
7) The future of twitter and online marketing through social networking. I think there could be some good posts on that.
8) The girl who broke your heart
9) your favorite places to get hamburgers
10) “The Shawshank Redemption”

From @iamboney:
1) Your thoughts on Charlie Villenueva and his infatuation with his straight razor.
2) Butterfly paperclips.
3) Why do Actors/Directors/Producers get tired of creating movies like Batman Begins/Dark Knight when both movies were hits, and popular?
4) When driving down the street, on a regular day like today, do you ever just do laughing? And then when you stop doing laughing, do you do laughing about the laughing you were doing just a minute ago?
5) Why do cats get hairballs but dogs don’t?
6) Is the guy who invented the copy machine that can also staple your papers a millionaire? Why/Why not?
7) What happened to ESPN?
8) Would you still be my friend if you knew that I surf craigslist for prostitutes?
9) Are you my friend now?
10) If you got hit in the eye by a football like Stu Scott, would you attempt to keep your eye even though it freaks everyone out or would you wear an eye patch and talk like a pirate?

From Trey Kerby, of the Blowtorch:
1) The difference between cyborgs and robots
2) Shape-shifters
3) Binder clips
4) How come a person can run forever when they’re drunk
5) Vin Diesel
6) Will Smith’s rap music
7) The song “Combination Pizza Hut & Taco Bell”
8) Six Flags theme parks
9) Pants
10) Trey Kerby’s The Blowtorch

From Kingsley:
1) Jason Kidd getting a boatload of money
2) Your interactions with Los Angeles Dodgers fans
3) The movie The Girlfriend Experience
4) The movie Funny People
5) Northeast Ohio’s truly most powerful attorney
6) Woody Allen, in general
7) The Awesomeness that will be Inglorious Basterds
8) The movie My Giant
9) Andre the Giant
10) What exactly you think the movie My Dinner with Andre is about

From David, via email:
1) lightning hits the grave of steve mcnair and his crazy girlfriend, epic battle
results in the skies above Memphis (just cause Memphis is never the site of
these battles, it’s always Tokyo or Gotham)
2) Which famous martial artists would you beat in a fight and why?
3) why hope? (that one is fairly open to interpretation, but maybe a little to
positive and or trite)
4) how to be more like indiana jones on a daily basis. not just like go on a
trip. every day. you may replace indi with bruce willis. if you must.
5) the word cliche
6) the secret art of actoring
7) ok now im out of ideas, you might have noticed when it started getting lame on
#6
8) anyway just thought id thank for the book
9) though i was waiting for more explosions and adventure at the end
10) was the absence of said happenings a super-subtle hint at a sequel? hmmm

From GOt himself, via Facebook:
1) Colonel T
2) A day in the life of Brian Spaeth.
3) The last thing that made you cry. (Surgery doesn’t count)
4) Walk us through your process for writing.
5) The stalker.
6) Tell a secret.
7) If you were rich, aside from a house and cars for yourself and family, what be some things you’d like to do/buy with your money?
8) Tell us about your big brother scheme.

And so…it occurs to me that you, GOt, don’t have a problem with my content at all. As noted in the post in question, you feel you’ve “outgrown the blog”.

Based on what you want me to write about, I think this may be true, since you want me to write some kind of lifestyle column detailing my personal and family life. So, you grew up. There’s nothing wrong with that, but why does that mean the blog has to grow up with you?

Are you that guy who wondered why we never get to see Charlie Brown in college? Who wants to see Superman have kids? Do you wonder why they don’t make a Lincoln Town Car Hot Wheels?

Look – 95% of my high school friends on Facebook post pictures of their kids, marriages, and other such topics. I’m thinking up extensive Saved by the Bell reboots, and asking a girl I only know through the internet to take pictures of her feet next to customized, handwritten messages about Bell Biv Devoe.

Who has the problem here?

All of us. That’s who. That’s why we’ve been drawn here. Together. Embrace our differences – racism is dead.

WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT AND WHY?