Texas, Obama's Trains, Oprah

UPDATE SAT 4/18: If you’re looking for Cavs/Lasers predictions and thoughts and such, they’ll be on my Twitter feed. “Cavs in 4, with no less than 7 Sheed technicals” sums it up.

To follow up on the whole Texas thing quick – this map is my solution for fixing the entire financial crisis.

1) Sell Montana to China for cash.

2) Agree to let Texas secede, but Trademark the name “Texas” before they do so, while forcing them to agree to my alternative supplied here, then sell the name Texas back to them for cash.

3) This isn’t totally crucial with all the cash we’ll have after steps one and two, but if we can also find a way to move Alaska and Hawaii to those locations shown on the map, I can’t help but think we’ll be a stronger nation.

The big news yesterday was actually this high-speed choo-choo train system Barack Obama wants to build with his own two hands.

If I were smart, I’d go do a find/replace and write myself Prelude to a Super Choo-Choo Train – the media could be all like, “Ooh, he’s so precious with his mind predicting abilities regarding technology and transportation in the near future…ooooh…ooohh…oooh…oo. Look at his muscular arms.”

Fast trains from the future are the way to go, especially if they make that bubble sound like a shuttle pod. Even if they don’t technically make that sound while running, I’d recommend putting in an external speaker system that broadcasts the sound.

It may sound dumb, but I’d be 75% more likely to ride these things if they did this.

Oprah is all about Twitter today – she’s making her first Tweet, after which she’ll hand the account over to a show intern, who will Tweet each day’s guests in a lawyer approved fashion.

Hopefully the show will cover the phenomenon of current and ex-basketball bloggers from Los Angeles interviewing girls from Orlando about the NBA.

The No-Look Pass did a lengthy piece with @alexiskn yesterday, and hit up @ColleenBurns today, who provides a link to a picture worth looking at for sure.

I have my piece with Colleen sitting here, but will probably save it for Monday, because I only ask her one thing about the NBA. Mainly I cover different scenarios in which we would watch Bad Boys II and hold hands.

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(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)