Because of all this social networking, I’m having long-distance, non-consummated relationships with somewhere between six or fourteen or thirty-seven girls.
A few of these have gotten pretty serious, having gone so far as to include phone calls and going, “mmmmm-mmmmm…we’re kissing mmmmm…” into the phone.
This happens before and after the calls, but not during them. Sometimes there aren’t even phone calls at all, but still fake kissing sounds, and we text each other so we both know that it’s happening.
Anyway, one of these girls crossed the line yesterday, asking me not once, but several times, to send her pictures of myself without a shirt on. (I know she’s reading this, so like I guess this is my official response.)
Now look, I’m always game for something that might be deemed odd or hilarious, but for her this wasn’t a joke – she really wanted them, and she wouldn’t let it go.
I was just like, “No, c’mon, that’s messed up. Who does that? Don’t wreck our strange and semi-fake relationship.” Seriously though – she wouldn’t stop asking, and I finally just hung up, and then sat in the car, wondering what had gone wrong, and who I was inside, and doing long division. I slammed my hands on the steering wheel because of a stray remainder.
It was a 4.
I asked these things because I wanted to know the answers, and I ultimately decided I’m simply not a guy who feels comfortable emailing shirtless pics of himself to hot internet babe non-girlfriends.
NO MATTER WHAT.
Have you ever emailed shirtless pics of me to someone? Or maybe you emailed them to yourself from an alternate account? Have you gotten shirtless pics of anyone from someone you only know on the internet? Or maybe pics with shirts on, and you know the person in real life, and you don’t have their email address, but plan to get it maybe in a few weeks?
Do you use gmail?
Just post links to every picture you’ve ever emailed or received via email.
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