(I’m interviewing the readership.
The main goal is to never ask the same question twice. If you’d like to be interviewed, please shoot me an email, and I’ll send you five questions asap. There’s somewhat of a backlog right now, so be patient.)
1) Sandy, you have long been a supporter of my work. Do you feel you deserve a prize of some kind? If so, what?
Yes. I do believe I deserve some sort of prize, statue, or better yet–how about monetary payment!
While I’ve been writing books and working on NBA previews and sneaker reviews, I could’ve used the time that I spent laughing at Pau Gasol’s electric or nodding my head in agreeance to your disdain for “Chubby Like A Baby” aka PP (or my favorite spelling, “PeePee”) and used that time elsewhere to thumb my nose at things I don’t like or eating.
On the contrary, because of your seemingly nonsensical humor and ability to “un-bore” the Internet, I sought you out. So yes. Give me something. Something good.
I was going to send you a prize, but you do that thing where you put two spaces after a period. Did you go to a really good private school or something?
Oh, and I’m really hopeful that you made up the word “agreeance”. I’m so proud.
2) Sandy, sometimes at night I think about a little boy I made up in Alabama named Nick. In my imagination, Nick is my son, and I’ve never met him. Do you think Nick is good at playing basketball? How good do you think he can be if he applies himself?
Nick is probably good at basketball. Knowing of your on-and-off passion for the NBA, he’s probably the equivalent of a Tim Thomas, with his game vasculating between mediocre most of the time, bad some of the time and outstanding rarely.
Hmmm. Interesting – the Cavs-Bulls game was the least interested in a game I’ve been all season. And as you well know, I’m the Vince Carter of NBA bloggers, not the Tim Thomas.
3) Sandy, when was the last time you drew something with a pencil, and what was it?
I drew something with a pencil about a year ago. And it was probably a logo for a Christian non-profit organization. It was some kids, son.
It’s seems like you’re taking a shot in the dark with this answer, but that’s pretty specific for a shot in the dark.
4) Sandy, if a space shuttle captain called you on the phone and asked you to call his wife to say good-bye for him, what would you do?
I would call the wife. If he wasn’t going to die.
Good answer – this was actually a trick question!
The space shuttle captain wasn’t going to die, he just didn’t tell his wife goodbye because he wanted to let her sleep in. He isn’t even in space, he’s just at the store buying some running shoes.
He likes preparing for marathons, and then making excuses for why he doesn’t actually run them. He’s also about to cheat on his wife with the shoe store girl, who is 18 and sultry. Eek!
5) Sandy, what is the highest ceiling you would theoretically feel comfortable having in a home in which you live?
25 ft., maybe, I don’t know. Why do you want to know?!?!
25 feet? Is that high? I know nothing about ceilings.
Thanks Sandy – you can find Sandy’s writings over at this link. Of particular interest might be this piece that associates the word “curse” with “Jordan Brand”.
Thanks again, Sandy! Thanks! Thank you.
PS If I ever find you criticizing Michael Jordan or his businesses again, you’re banned from everything on Earth.
