BANNER FEB2010

(PTSA is Prelude to a Super Airplane, my book. You can read all about it here, and then you should go and buy it.)

Occasionally I hop on Blackberry IM with Becky, who those of you who were on the last blog will remember is a cool enough girl to warrant the female lead in WSM? being named after her.

Becky also got a previewish copy of PTSA, and has read it. (You can also follow her on Twitter here.)

Keep in mind, Becky knows me really well at this point. We’ve met in person more than once, shared many conversations, and none of my trickery works on her.

Anyway, I’ve posted the entire chat, in order to allow the full context of all statements to be known. We discuss her thoughts on the book, some of the characters, whether I should most the chat to the internet, whether I should be in The Avengers movie, and the scary secret of what happens to me when I get scared.

This also took place during the second half of the Cavs game. As you’ll see, my prediction for the fourth quarter was accurate.

Becky: So
Becky: I finally finished reading that thing you wrote

Brian: What the book?

Becky: That
Becky: Yes

Brian: And…?

Becky: I still like the story
Becky: the ego was a little out of control to the point it passed cute over to irritating
Becky: :)
Becky: And the writing made me want to take a power drill to my forehead
Becky: But
Becky: I think if you tone down the sexy stuff it would make a phenomenal tweener book
Becky: Ala sideways stories from wayside school
Becky: With explosions!
Becky: But overall I like the way the storylines twisted around and tied into each other
Becky: My boones farm review stands

Brian: Will you possibly write these thoughts up in email form?
Brian: Thank you for reading it

Becky: Yes of course
Becky: I hope I was not overly harsh :)
Becky: Can I just copy/paste from here and email

Brian: Yeah sure
Brian: No not harsh – both your criticisms are things I’m aware of
Brian: It’s not like some shocker that they won’t appeal to everyone

Becky: Yeah the difficulty I have with the writing style might be bc I’ve been reading since I was 3 and I’m kind of a book snot

Brian: My biggest concern is always “did the story keep you engaged”

Becky: I tried to put that aside
Becky: And failed

Brian: Yeah this book is not for book snot
Brian: Lol

Becky: I think 5th grade boys would really get a kick out of it though
Becky: And I mean that with all sincerity

Brian: Yeah I wrote it for the people who would like Brad Radby’s movies

Becky: You intend to make what…a brad radby documentary?

Brian: What for the movie version

Becky: I mean you clearly have some further intent with it

Brian: yeah I’m writing Brad Radby’s filmography right now

Becky: And a doozy it shall be

Brian: It’s allegedly written in 2025 so it’s 13 years after the Super Airplane ride
Brian: So it has many hints and clues as to [redacted]
Brian: Are you watching zee game

Becky: Flipping back and forth

Brian: Between what

Becky: The game and some other stuff

Brian: Vague!
Brian: Grey’s Anatomy

Becky: No
Becky: Not that

Brian: Office

Becky: Not yet!

Brian: Hulk

Becky: I wish :(
Becky: Well ed norton wish
Becky: Eric bana not wish

Brian: Eric Bana Hulk is so bad
Brian: I didn’t even understand the end

Becky: Worst comic book movie ever
Becky: And I say that having seen 2 of the 3 punisher flicks

Brian: We should have an entire blog that’s just our nightly chats – I’ll bet people would read that
Brian: It’s so random and easy and they would feel like they are our friends

Becky: I think you tried that once
Becky: People hated it!

Brian: Did they?
Brian: Can I try it tomorrow with this?

Becky: Yes

Brian: Okay so say something funny

Becky: Are you going to censor me if I use salty language
Becky: But I’m not funny

Brian: I will like **** it out
Brian: Like f**k

Becky: How will you *** out something like…
Becky: Ummm
Becky: Cuntbucket

Brian: Cuntb****t
Brian: Oh wait that is not right

Becky: Hee!
Becky: That was a good joke!

Brian: Jokes!
Brian: Boney will comment re: his special insight into our relationship

Becky: Wait this prob shouldn’t go in your blog but I was curious
Becky: If stephanie sanborn is reading your book parts about stephanie piperbraum
Becky: To whom there is no relation

Brian: Stephenie Piperbraum is clearly a Stephenie Meyer avatar

Becky: O RLY
Becky: I thought I had insight
Becky: I do not
Becky: -2 pts for me
Becky: Who’s stephanie meyer

Brian: No Stephanie Sanborn hold no secret love for me believe me lol
Brian: Twilight author

Becky: Your wishful thinking!
Becky: It was a fair leap of logic for me
Becky: I feel
Becky: Since I think all the chicks in the book are chicks you have banged or want to bang or want to bang you in real life, yes?

Brian: Hmm I do hold a special place for Mindy Slanteer but she isn’t based on anyone

Becky: Really?

Brian: Jennifer is based on someone real as is our relationship
Brian: In the book

Becky: You just like 17 yr-olds in general
Becky: Oh yes what did happen with “jennifer”
Becky: I feel the real life story must be entertaining

Brian: I’m doing an interview with her for the site it’s pretty interesting
Brian: That’s why I dedicated the thing to her
Brian: See I have a heart haha
Brian: And I don’t like all 17 year old girls, just hot ones

Becky: Yes but what happened!
Becky: Did true love prevail?

Brian: Wait for the interview – it needs full context

Becky: Meh
Becky: I have now lost interest in it as a topic
Becky: Moving on

Brian: None of the other girls are based on anyone btw except mom and sister

Becky: Too bad, you could have scored some p***y points out of the “hey baby, I wrote you into a book” line

Brian: I can say that anyway though

Becky: It’s worth a shot

Brian: Michael J. Mikolay is a real person

Becky: Who would win in a fight, Brian Spathe or a choo-choo train?

Brian: Who do you think?

Becky: Probably the choo-choo train

Brian: I want to play Edward Norton in the Avengers movie

Becky: Muscle tissue is definitely no match for speeding steel

Brian: True dat

Becky: Didn’t they already make an avengers movie

Brian: I mean the superhero Avengers
Brian: Hulk Iron Man Captain America and Thor

Becky: Ohhhhh
Becky: Soo
Becky: You would be
Becky: What

Brian: Edward Norton

Becky: David Banner?

Brian: no edward norton

Brian: I want him to play bruce banner and I want them to write edward norton in as a character and I’ll play him

Becky: The dude playing a dude disguised as another dude

Brian: I think that means its meta

Becky: Oh yeah bruce
Becky: Who’s david banner

Brian: They called him that in the tv show
Brian: Bruce was deemed too gay in the 70s or something

Becky: Bc of the monty python sketch
Becky: I bet

Brian: I don’t know that reference

Becky: That’s right

Becky: You hate python

Brian: I don’t hate it it just doesn’t like scream at me
Brian: I did hate Hostiry of the world
Brian: Or meaning of life

Becky: History of the world is mel brooks I think

Brian: Whichever one had them pirating buildings or something

Becky: Meaning of life was different from the rest of their stuff I didn’t much like it myself
Becky: It was too eric idle
Becky: His stuff is so bizarre

Brian: Cavs shooting jumpers gey

Becky: Yeah they blew that lead f’sho!
Becky: Have you seen Brazil?

Brian: No
Brian: Is it like Armageddon
Brian: I liked that movie

Becky: Ummmmm
Becky: Not exactly?

Brian: Would you see Brad Radby’s Peoplebees lol

Becky: Did you see MBV3D yet!?
Brian: Wha is that

Becky: Peoplebees is not my style yo
Becky: Not my style
Becky: My Bloody Valentine
Becky: In 3D!!!

Brian: No I don’t like horror
Brian: Esp blood and gore
Brian: Was it good

Becky: It was in 3D!
Becky: There was a full 5-min scene of some strumpet running around fully nude
Becky: Screaming and jiggling in all her 3D glory

Brian: I don’t like to be scared

Becky: It wasn’t scary!

Becky: It wasn’t really funny enough though
Becky: It was very clearly just “hey let’s cut a bunch of scenes together that are really graphic and therefore would POP in 3D”

Brian: Candyman made me afraid of everything for like 6 years
Brian: And everyone said that was funny too

Becky: Yeah but what year was that movie

Brian: I don’t remember I blacked out for a year afterward

Becky: You were prob like 15
Becky: I think you should watch dead silence like I told you to last spring
Becky: If that one scares you instead of givin you lolz
Becky: Then we know where we’re at
Becky: Dude see the unborn
Becky: The whole theater had lotsa lolz
Becky: And you can bring a girl
Becky: And even if you get scared, you can hold her hand real tight

Brian: No way that looks like a blackout movie for sure

Becky: And she won’t think you’re a p***y, she’ll think you are faking to hold her hand
Becky: Noooo it was hi-larious!

Brian: Can’t I hold her hand at Mall Cop

Becky: You can try
Becky: But most likely will be too busy slapping your knees!
Becky: I hear it is a real knee-slapper, you see

Brian: HAR

Becky: Jerk

Brian: Oh that is not going in the blog post

Becky: What
Becky: Me calling you a jerk?

Brian: Let’s pretend to kiss over chat

Becky: Are we still doing that?

Brian: Yes

Becky: I think this conversation went off the rails about 30 min ago

Brian: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Brian: That’s me giving you a kiss over chat

Becky: Was there tongue?

Brian: No it was sweet and innocent

Becky: Oh ok
Becky: I guess that’s acceptable
Becky: Because *I* am sweet and innocent, you see

Brian: Yes I know – this is how I know you

Brian: LeBron shooting jumpers!

Becky: He loves doing it so much!

Brian: The game is so easy when he lets it be
Brian: They might get blown out in the 4th
Brian: Their defense is terrible tonight

Becky: Can I be honest?

Brian: Yah

Becky: I dislike the “G” campaigne

Brian: Yeah it’s weird
Brian: It’s feels like it’s trying too hard
Brian: And when those Japanese mask guys come out I have a quick blackout because of the scariness

Becky: The jabawockeez!

Brian: What are they – hip hoppers

Becky: Apparently they’re. International dance sensation!
Becky: They’re a
Becky: I meant

Brian: I want to see faces in my dance trios

Becky: They’re very michael myers
Becky: Or meyers
Becky: I can’t remember which spelling

Brian: Cavs are so dumb with their jumpshooting

Becky: But they really like it!
Becky: Ummmmm
Becky: I think LeBron just realized Confessions of a Shopaholic opens tomorrow

Brian: lol

Becky: Sorry bout your team, guy
Becky: Still way better than mine!

Brian: Thanks
Brian: I think Z is back tomorrow

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  • I forgot all about Sideways Stories From Wayside School. Best books ever. We enacted some chapters in a play in elementary school, I was the teacher who wore knitting needles in her hair. I also forgot to include this in my super-professional review, so here you go - Mindy Slanteer reminded me a lot of Maeby Fünke, prolly only because I've seen the entire 3 seasons of Arrested Development at least 20 times through.
  • Boney
    "Brian: Boney will comment re: his special insight into our relationship"

    No I will not. What do you think I am? Some sort of gossipy chick?

    I enjoyed a nice beer or 3 with you both and I could feel the sexual tension... and that's all that I will say.

    Good day to you,
    Boney
  • Kudos for the sideways stories from wayside school reference. I thought about getting a potato tattooed on my ankle in homage.
  • really interested to see what anderson does with the roald dahl book. Although i am immensely upset they canceled the BFG
  • Mr. Rogers
    That lady who just had octuplets already had six kids
  • becky_b
    also, thanks for cutting it off before the girly pushups that were not girl pushups.
  • becky_b
    oh and minus-8,000 points for accidentally saying Idle when I meant Gilliam
  • So you're NOT a Gilliam fan? For shame.
  • becky_b
    I am! I very much liked Brazil and 12 Monkeys.
    to clarify-
    YES to Gilliam
    MEH to Meaning of Life
  • Hey you're both in NY - you should get together and be friends.
  • There are very few directors that I'll like see anything they do. There are certainly ones that I pay more attention to, but I'm not a fanboy for anyone.

    Off the top of my head, I've really really liked every movie Christopher Nolan has ever made, but he's about the only current one I can say that about. You gotta remember my tastes are very mainstream - I'm much more into high concepts (and explosions).
  • Oh, I'm a fanboy. Lynch, Gilliam, Herzog, Polanski, Heneke, Coen Brothers, and even Wes Anderson. All of them, without question or reviews, I will see.

    Come on, Meaning of Life has that great song about space and the pointlessness of life. The Galaxy Song.
  • Coen Brothers I will see anything they do eventually, but I'm not rushing out to theaters for it every time. Even if I don't like what they do every time, it's always interesting and has that original voice.

    I'd watch 10 Michael Bay movies while spinning in circles before I'd watch another Wes Anderson film.
  • I take it you're referring to Darjeeling Limited. I liked it - it's not as good as Life Aquatic or Royal Tannenbaums, but it's good. I have a man-crush on Adrien Brody.
  • becky_b
    I did not really think you would do this. Natch.
  • PTSA reference!
  • I'm not worried about a loss to ORL on the road minus two starters. Frankly, during this Z/West outage, I expected them to go .500. They were out of sorts about Williams not making the AS team last night too, which I thought was weird.
  • yeah but they sounded great (no A.C.)

    easy win tonight.
  • In re: Brazil. Thought I'd fill in the gap and convince you to see it - it's great. It was directed by Terry Gilliam, who did Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Brothers Grimm, Fisher King, Twelve Monkeys, etc. Long before that, he did the animation for Monty Python, all those collage type things. He was rarely in the scenes, but the art was all him. His movies are nothing like Python. See it. See it now. Deniro even has a cameo, and Mona from Who's the Boss is in it.
  • Actually I'm familiar with it, just haven't gotten around to seeing it ever. I love 12 Monkeys.
  • Also, man did the Cavs look like sh*t last night.

    And if I have to see that commercial for the NBA with Garnett "keeping things in perspective" one more time, I might have to kill him.
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