Prelude to an Alex Rodriguez Bole Injection

(WSM? people – make sure to read the bottom of this post.

Tracy McGrady is going to have microfracture knee surgery solely so he doesn’t get traded.

He just officially moved into the list on the Top 10 Most Disappointing Players of All-Time, right?)

Alex Rodriguez was peering down the back alleys of the Dominican Republic, and he couldn’t believe what he was about to do.

Alex turned to look at his fake cousin – he was also in disbelief, because he didn’t have a name and wasn’t real. How did he get here?

They’d flown together on a real airplane to get here, to the Dominican. Alex Rodriguez loved airplanes – they were so pure, and just, and graceful, and airplaney.

Not like Alex himself. Not after what he and his fake cousin were about to do, which was something not at all pure, nor just, nor airplaney. It was perhaps graceful, if one were to rearrange the letters of the word into a new word that meant “bole buyer”.

“Hey, esse! Psst! Bole, bole, bole, ariba!”

Alex Rodriguez peered down the alley again, and he knew the moment was at hand.

He, Alex Rodriguez, the golden boy of Major League Baseball, was about to buy bole, the mysterious Dominican energy booster that made you get bigger and stronger, and had to be injected just like steroids, but weren’t steroids.

Natch.

“I’m so young and naive…” Alex said to his fake cousin, which meant he was saying it to himself. In any case, he had said it out loud, which had made the bole dealer giggle.

The giggle scared Alex Rodriguez, because it was the kind of giggle that was a precursor to increased muscle mass through illegal means.

Alex stood up straight, took a deep breath, and then hunched back down. This made him an inch shorter, which perhaps, along with his fake beard and Sherlock Holmes costume, would keep anyone from recognizing him.

Recognition is when people know who you are.

Even as he watched his foot step forward, Alex Rodriguez couldn’t believe he was walking down this alley. But Alex Rodriguez kept walking anyway.

(WSM? people – let me know if you got your DVDs.

I know some have arrived, but a few have gotten kicked back because of “insufficient postage”, which is bizarre because they were all exactly the same and I did it on the machine.

This is kinda why I wanted to do this through Createspace (as seen to your left), but you would’ve had to pay for them, and I couldn’t put those individualized watermarks on that way, either.

With how cursed this movie is, you had to know something would go wrong for inexplicable reasons.)

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    My confusion stems from the scene in WSM? where Ben Franklin holds the gun to Bill Waltons head but instead bullets, confetti shoots out? Whats up with that?

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    My confusion stems from the scene in WSM? where Ben Franklin holds the gun to Bill Waltons head but instead bullets, confetti shoots out? Whats up with that?

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    But this is not a thing that is in the movie. I'm not a Ben Franklin fan – I think a lot of what's said about him is propaganda.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    But this is not a thing that is in the movie. I'm not a Ben Franklin fan – I think a lot of what's said about him is propaganda.

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    Or the part where scoop jackson has the five minute scene in the bathroom where he is all teary-eyed cutting himself. That was a hoot!

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    Or the part where scoop jackson has the five minute scene in the bathroom where he is all teary-eyed cutting himself. That was a hoot!

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    have not seen it in my mail receptacle : (

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    have not seen it in my mail receptacle : (

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    The problem is I'm not back in LA until late next month, which means this is all on my sister to retrieve my PO Box – this happens once every two months by my estimation.

    Hopefully it's just a few or the delay is due to Pres Day.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    The problem is I'm not back in LA until late next month, which means this is all on my sister to retrieve my PO Box – this happens once every two months by my estimation.

    Hopefully it's just a few or the delay is due to Pres Day.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    poop.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    poop.

  • http://robgokeemusic.com robgokeemusic

    My copy seemed to be missing the $100 bill that was supposed to be attached to the disc. This may have some affect on my review.

  • http://robgokeemusic.com robgokeemusic

    My copy seemed to be missing the $100 bill that was supposed to be attached to the disc. This may have some affect on my review.

  • http://iareawesomeness.com Jeremiah

    Still awaiting my copy as well…

    *Violently shakes mailbox upside down but still nothing comes out*

  • http://iareawesomeness.com Jeremiah

    Still awaiting my copy as well…

    *Violently shakes mailbox upside down but still nothing comes out*

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I'm almost positive your didn't go out until Saturday – with the holiday Monday, that could account for it. DB something tells me yours went Sat also.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I'm almost positive your didn't go out until Saturday – with the holiday Monday, that could account for it. DB something tells me yours went Sat also.

  • nrojb

    will wsm? ever be available for non-wsm? people to purchase?

  • nrojb

    will wsm? ever be available for non-wsm? people to purchase?

  • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-roberge/a-statistical-guide-to-hi_b_160042.html Bob (aka Tom)

    Am I getting one? I wasn't sure we ever sorted that out?

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    Am I getting one? I wasn't sure we ever sorted that out?

  • becky_b

    mine didn't have a cool case. wtf??

  • becky_b

    mine didn't have a cool case. wtf??

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    Yes, but I don't know when.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    Yes, but I don't know when.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I'm the only one with a case. Blum, you need your wavey picture.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I'm the only one with a case. Blum, you need your wavey picture.

  • becky_b

    how the hell did my comment get moved way the F up there? jeez, I go one week without checking this blog and everything falls to pieces.

  • becky_b

    how the hell did my comment get moved way the F up there? jeez, I go one week without checking this blog and everything falls to pieces.

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    beck_b is my girlfriend! And by that I mean we do on-the-lips kissing all the time.

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    beck_b is my girlfriend! And by that I mean we do on-the-lips kissing all the time.

  • TVBrain

    My copy has not arrived. But then again, I didn't know my Swimsuit Edition had arrived until I found it in my son's room.

  • TVBrain

    My copy has not arrived. But then again, I didn't know my Swimsuit Edition had arrived until I found it in my son's room.

  • http://mcbias.blogspot.com mcbias

    My copy has arrived–and I'm done with PTSA. It's definitely worthy of the MR CAPS treatment (sample at http://mcbias.blogspot.com/2008/01/book-review-…). I think the weirdest thing for me is that if I read PTSA during the day, I liked it; when reading it at night, it inflicted pain upon my delicate retinas. There's only one explanation for this. Clearly, your book is a vampire.

  • http://mcbias.blogspot.com mcbias

    My copy has arrived–and I'm done with PTSA. It's definitely worthy of the MR CAPS treatment (sample at http://mcbias.blogspot.com/2008/01/book-review-…). I think the weirdest thing for me is that if I read PTSA during the day, I liked it; when reading it at night, it inflicted pain upon my delicate retinas. There's only one explanation for this. Clearly, your book is a vampire.

  • Boney

    you know… I have been running to my mailbox for the last 3 days and all I've retrieved are the collection notices that I leave in the mailbox so I can tell the “agents” that I've never received them

    (you dont receive them until you actually open them right?)

  • Boney

    you know… I have been running to my mailbox for the last 3 days and all I've retrieved are the collection notices that I leave in the mailbox so I can tell the “agents” that I've never received them

    (you dont receive them until you actually open them right?)

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    well thats how restraining orders work so i would assume it would be the same for that. still no disc here. perhaps it wouldn't fit in my mail slot and the leasing office has it? did you send it in a hollowed out animal?, because my mail slot wouldn't accommodate that.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    well thats how restraining orders work so i would assume it would be the same for that. still no disc here. perhaps it wouldn't fit in my mail slot and the leasing office has it? did you send it in a hollowed out animal?, because my mail slot wouldn't accommodate that.

  • DFresh35

    I thought we cut that scene?

  • DFresh35

    I thought we cut that scene?

  • DFresh35

    I want a pretty case….they are so…shiiiiny

  • DFresh35

    I want a pretty case….they are so…shiiiiny

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I'll make sure you get one – that is the true collectors item first edition!

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I'll make sure you get one – that is the true collectors item first edition!

  • DFresh35

    phew…

  • DFresh35

    phew…I left that out of my contract…

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    MR CAPS is pretty fitting in light of Chapter 38!

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    MR CAPS is pretty fitting in light of Chapter 38!

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    yes, it appears that i underestimated the shininess of PTASA, and now have overestimated the shininess of WSM? : (

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    yes, it appears that i underestimated the shininess of PTASA, and now have overestimated the shininess of WSM? : (

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    Did it arrive?

    Yeah these are ugly-ass screener copies no doubt.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    Did it arrive?

    Yeah these are ugly-ass screener copies no doubt.

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    Mine hasn't yet arrived, but i'm chalkin it to the day of old people on money

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    Mine hasn't yet arrived, but i'm chalkin it to the day of old people on money

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    no i was just preparing for the letdown of matte finish.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    no i was just preparing for the letdown of matte finish.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    no i was just preparing for the letdown of matte finish.