So like on Twitter you make fast friends, and sometimes you make best fast friends, and then sometimes on top of that, they’re pretty, and British, and female.
That’s when you start busting out interviews and poems. This is Kellie Simpson.
1) @kelliesimpson, we met on Twitter, have known each other less than a week, and yet we already have our own special inside jokes, such as that someone who is being mean and/or grumpy is “being Lex Luthor”. I’m newish to Twitter, but has this happened to you a lot? Should I expect more of this?
@brianspaeth, if I may call you that, twitter is a great way to make friends if you want to feel popular. I do have a lot of “inside jokes” with other tweeps – twitter people – but you and I share a special connection I feel.
We understand each other, like, I get your love of LeBron and aeroplanes. I know that if acting wasn’t your calling you would be an aeronautical engineer. Or a comic book writer who writes about a super choo-choo train called “Super Choo-Choo Train” who versus superheroes every week, and one week even versus Stan Lee.
And you understand my lack of cheeseburger causes me to tweet on twitter until
the early hours of the morning, which is not so late for you. And you still love me even when I’m being Lex Luthor. Oh. And yes. You can expect a lot more of this. But not as good as it
is with me.
2) @kelliesimpson, you’re an actress, and I’ve surmised that you like things. I know this because you told me you do. Please expound on any part of this non-question, and make it hilarious and/or sexy.
I’m blonde, so I’m not really funny just stupid. Although if we pull apart this question analytically, from a psychological point of view, I could say that after knowing me for less than a month you are putting me on a high pedestal, even if just to look up my skirt.
Oh, and I’m no Lindsay Lohan, I’m wearing roller derby underwear, so if you’re planning on taking a peek at my event box you’re s–t out of luck. Oh. Yeah. I really, really, REALLY like actoring. I like pretending to be somebody else, but actually being myself at being somebody else.
3) @kelliesimpson, when you get back to LA, what are the chances we can engage in some hardcore hand-holding, mixed with an occasional “ooh, I’m smitten with you” looks back and forth?
When I get back to LA, I shall seek you out. We shall handhold, as we do now, but without me having to engage my Go-Go Gadget Arms across the Atlantic. It’ll be better for the pressure on my joints.
I’m not too sure about the “ooh, I’m smitten with you” looks back and forth though, that’s a bit heavy for me and I’m really not that kind of girl. Not until we’ve been hardcore hand-holding for at last six and a half months.
And you buy me a plastic ring from the gumball machine outside Ralph’s on Sunset.
Raw.
Emotional.
Twitter.
You can follow Kellie on Twitter right here.
