Amidst the chaos of shooting a movie, participating in the holidays, and getting Level 9 Bronchitis over the past three weeks, one thing I didn’t need was my cable to go out.
Because of karma, and having a bad luck charm on by accident, and etc…that’s just what happened.
Instead of the latest episode of Funeral Hoarders, I instead have been subjected to the crisp, inspiring audio from same, plus a swarm of digitized green squares.
Luckily, the sharp minds at Time-Warner have technicians available for live chat.
Carolyn: Thank you for contacting Time Warner Cable. At the end of our chat you will be given the option of taking a brief survey. My name is Carolyn. Please give me a moment while I access your account.
Brian: Okey. btw this survey business sounds like a great palate cleanser to this experience. I love fun surveys. Is the survey about having fun.
Carolyn: Thank you for waiting.
Carolyn: I will be glad to assist you with the issue.
Brian: I have music on is that okay.
Carolyn: Since when are you experiencing this issue?
Brian: Over a week – it started i think Friday the 21st, but I went out of town the next day until yesterday, and now I have bronchitis more than anyone has ever had bronchitis before.
Brian: Can you acknowledge my bronchitis, just so I know you are a real person.
Carolyn: Sorry to hear you have been under the weather with bronchitis.
Brian: COUGH COUGH
Brian: haha that was for keeping it real
Brian: Anyway, during my Christmas Vacation experience I thought maybe it was a glitch and it would fix itself but it’s still doing it.
Carolyn: I will help you to get this issue resolved.
Carolyn: In this case, I will refresh the signals for the cable box. Is that okay?
Brian: Okay – do I need to turn it off.
Brian: The cable, not my bronchitis. That will not go anywhere without antibiotics, time, and the compassion of my primary care physician.
Carolyn: No, keep it on.
Brian: COUGH COUGH COUGH
Carolyn: I have refreshed the signals. This will reset and synchronize the program code of the cable box.
Brian: Okay looks like it is rebooting – how long should this take.
Carolyn: Few minutes.
Brian: How long is that in metric.
Carolyn: Please wait till you see the current time on the display of the box and keep me updated.
Carolyn: Thank you.
Brian: k it’s showing the time, and that is happening in blue numbers.
Carolyn: Please Power On the cable box and check if this has resolved the issue.
Brian: COUGH COUGH
Brian: Thank you!
Brian: Now I can watch the big game!
Carolyn: You are welcome.
Carolyn: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Brian: You’ve been a life-saver – thank you so much for existing.
Brian: Bye Carolyn!
Carolyn: My pleasure!
I logged off before that cold, emotionless drone version of Carolyn tried to offer me a survey, so I suppose this is the end of the post.
The picture at the top is of water, and has no context.