I talked to my Mom yesterday, and she told me she doesn’t really read my blog anymore.
This was, as best I could tell, the first time she’s ever been critical of me in a situation that didn’t involve the police.
As such, everything I do from now on will be to entice my mommy to read-it-up again.
(Truth is, I could tell my best stories if I was assured she would never come back. For example, it’s only been relayed in hushed tones among a select few, but “The Toothbrush Story of Charleston, SC – Summer 2008″ is the possibly greatest single act of inspiration I’ve ever committed to reality.)
Anyway, like my sister, Mom will watch any show on TLC/Bravo/VH1 in the area of things like “Go Get That Dress!” or “Top 10 Pop Culture Friends of Last Tuesday”. She loves lists – these are my favorite places:
1) Shaq’s House – Shaq’s house is 47-stories tall, is the best place on Earth, and is pretty much just like the Super Airplane as described here, but without the wings. (It does have the wheels, but they’re purely decorative and non-functional.) The best thing about Shaq’s house is the the front door is always open, and Shaq is there.
2) Best Buy – This is the happiest place on Earth, which is slightly different from the “best” designation Shaq’s house has. Given the choice between the two, I’d still pick Shaq’s house, because he has a to-scale Best Buy replica in the second sub-basement.
3) A Field – Wikipedia says:
A field refers generally to an area of land enclosed or otherwise and used for agricultural purposes such as cultivating crops, usage as a paddock or generally an enclosure of livestock, or land left to lie fallow or as arable land.
That sounds pretty accurate.
4) Another Field – This is pretty much the same as the previous field, but it’s just South of it. The lines of demarcation aren’t legal or defined by bank deeds, but rather moral in nature. And that’s a double-subtext.
5) The Woods – This is on the other side of the first field, and has trees and sometimes a moat or sewer pipe, or an arrangement of trees and bushes that can form a fort of sorts, provided you bring some plywood back to cover any gaping holes.
What are your five favorite places? The first 10 people to answer “No place is my favorite :( ” and give a valid reason win trophies.
