My 5 Favorite Places

By On May 5, 2009 · 48 Comments · In Airplanes, Best Buy, LeBron James, Liking Things, NBA, Super Airplane

I talked to my Mom yesterday, and she told me she doesn’t really read my blog anymore.

This was, as best I could tell, the first time she’s ever been critical of me in a situation that didn’t involve the police.

As such, everything I do from now on will be to entice my mommy to read-it-up again.

(Truth is, I could tell my best stories if I was assured she would never come back. For example, it’s only been relayed in hushed tones among a select few, but “The Toothbrush Story of Charleston, SC – Summer 2008″ is the possibly greatest single act of inspiration I’ve ever committed to reality.)

Anyway, like my sister, Mom will watch any show on TLC/Bravo/VH1 in the area of things like “Go Get That Dress!” or “Top 10 Pop Culture Friends of Last Tuesday”. She loves lists – these are my favorite places:

1) Shaq’s House – Shaq’s house is 47-stories tall, is the best place on Earth, and is pretty much just like the Super Airplane as described here, but without the wings. (It does have the wheels, but they’re purely decorative and non-functional.) The best thing about Shaq’s house is the the front door is always open, and Shaq is there.

2) Best Buy – This is the happiest place on Earth, which is slightly different from the “best” designation Shaq’s house has. Given the choice between the two, I’d still pick Shaq’s house, because he has a to-scale Best Buy replica in the second sub-basement.

3) A Field – Wikipedia says:

A field refers generally to an area of land enclosed or otherwise and used for agricultural purposes such as cultivating crops, usage as a paddock or generally an enclosure of livestock, or land left to lie fallow or as arable land.

That sounds pretty accurate.

4) Another Field – This is pretty much the same as the previous field, but it’s just South of it. The lines of demarcation aren’t legal or defined by bank deeds, but rather moral in nature. And that’s a double-subtext.

5) The Woods – This is on the other side of the first field, and has trees and sometimes a moat or sewer pipe, or an arrangement of trees and bushes that can form a fort of sorts, provided you bring some plywood back to cover any gaping holes.

What are your five favorite places? The first 10 people to answer “No place is my favorite :( ” and give a valid reason win trophies.

 
  • Greg Odens tonsils

    WELCOME BACK BRIAN! No twitter. Irrelevant humor. Non sensical anecdotes. Pictures of Apollo Creed holding a trophie. Me likey!

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    WELCOME BACK BRIAN! No twitter. Irrelevant humor. Non sensical anecdotes. Pictures of Apollo Creed holding a trophie. Me likey!

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    That's his trophy for winning the boxing contest.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    That's his trophy for winning the boxing contest.

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    Irreverant* Oopsie dazie of love!

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    Irreverant* Oopsie dazie of love!

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    There ain't goin be no rematch!

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    There ain't goin be no rematch!

  • Brian's Mom

    Oh poopie kins! I'm so glad you wrote a list. I do so like lists. Now go clean your room before bath time!

  • Brian's Mom

    Oh poopie kins! I'm so glad you wrote a list. I do so like lists. Now go clean your room before bath time!

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    1.345 points!

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    1.345 points!

  • http://twitter.com/snickerdoodle85 snickerdoodle85

    Top 5 places to live:

    1) The Womb: It is extremely comfortable, you don’t have to do anything except eat and sleep. It’s your own little world. What is better than that?

    2) Brangelina’s house: I imagine if I pretended to be one of their adopted kids I would get a pretty sweet house to live in and room of my own plus I wouldn’t have to walk anywhere because Brad Pitt would carry me.

    3) The Ocean: The community seems pleasant and the views are great.

    4) Disneyland: For the times I want to dress like a princess, and live in a castle and not feel weird.

    5) Deserted Island: Somewhere tropical, with lots of fruit on it. I’m sure to find treasure! Or pirates.

  • http://twitter.com/snickerdoodle85 snickerdoodle85

    Top 5 places to live:

    1) The Womb: It is extremely comfortable, you don’t have to do anything except eat and sleep. It’s your own little world. What is better than that?

    2) Brangelina’s house: I imagine if I pretended to be one of their adopted kids I would get a pretty sweet house to live in and room of my own plus I wouldn’t have to walk anywhere because Brad Pitt would carry me.

    3) The Ocean: The community seems pleasant and the views are great.

    4) Disneyland: For the times I want to dress like a princess, and live in a castle and not feel weird.

    5) Deserted Island: Somewhere tropical, with lots of fruit on it. I’m sure to find treasure! Or pirates.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    This is interesting because you're split between pampered luxuries and living in the wild.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    This is interesting because you're split between pampered luxuries and living in the wild.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    i want to live in the house that the famous architect designed in that one episode of Wings that looked like a 7. and i want to live in the show Wings.

    i like Wings.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    i want to live in the house that the famous architect designed in that one episode of Wings that looked like a 7. and i want to live in the show Wings.

    i like Wings.

  • http://twitter.com/snickerdoodle85 snickerdoodle85

    who says you can't have both? haha

  • http://twitter.com/snickerdoodle85 snickerdoodle85

    who says you can't have both? haha

  • goathair

    No place is my favorite :( because of a valid reason.

  • goathair

    No place is my favorite :( because of a valid reason.

  • http://www.bothteamsplayedhard.net BothTeamsPlayedHard

    No place is my favorite because I'm onmipresent :)

  • http://www.bothteamsplayedhard.net BothTeamsPlayedHard

    No place is my favorite because I'm onmipresent :)

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    That's a happy face wtf :/

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    That's a happy face wtf :/

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    I just gave Yaysports.com/nba twelve points.

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    I just gave Yaysports.com/nba twelve points.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I don't like that website.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I don't like that website.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    we know.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    we know.

  • TVBrain

    No place is my favorite
    Because I love every place, even the DMV. I bloom where I'm planted baby!

    TROPHY ME UP!

    Hi Mrs. Spaeth!

  • TVBrain

    No place is my favorite
    Because I love every place, even the DMV. I bloom where I'm planted baby!

    TROPHY ME UP!

    Hi Mrs. Spaeth!

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    No place is my favorite :( cause it all depends on the circumstances. Let's say I'm at a tailgate, life should be great, normally this would be one of my favorite places, until there is a freak mini BBQ grill explosion and the cooler with all of our beverages is surrounded in flames. Boom, de-favorited. I'll be taking your trophy TVBrain IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    No place is my favorite :( cause it all depends on the circumstances. Let's say I'm at a tailgate, life should be great, normally this would be one of my favorite places, until there is a freak mini BBQ grill explosion and the cooler with all of our beverages is surrounded in flames. Boom, de-favorited. I'll be taking your trophy TVBrain IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    You gotta let me grow lol

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    You gotta let me grow lol

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    just joshin

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    just joshin

  • goathair

    I know you probably think about this a lot, but “Brian” and “brain” have the exact same letters.

  • goathair

    I know you probably think about this a lot, but “Brian” and “brain” have the exact same letters.

  • alexiskn

    omg #4 is my favorite. i <3 your brain.

    my favorite places are:
    #1 forever all-time favorite: . Cafe Madrid in Dallas – cuz its fooood… with cheeeese. and wiiiine. nom nom nom. for hours. with my daddy.
    2. bed. cuz it's comfy and where i sleep and sleep is my favorite
    3. Dirk.
    4. Italy. all of it. see. #1 for other reasons that also apply.
    5. museums cuz i like to look at stuff.

  • http://alexisreviews.tumblr.com alexiskn

    omg #4 is my favorite. i <3 your brain.

    my favorite places are:
    #1 forever all-time favorite: . Cafe Madrid in Dallas – cuz its fooood… with cheeeese. and wiiiine. nom nom nom. for hours. with my daddy.
    2. bed. cuz it's comfy and where i sleep and sleep is my favorite
    3. Dirk.
    4. Italy. all of it. see. #1 for other reasons that also apply.
    5. museums cuz i like to look at stuff.

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    Dirk is a dude, not a place…you are a liar you

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    Dirk is a dude, not a place…you are a liar you

  • http://alexisreviews.tumblr.com alexiskn

    omg #4 is my favorite. i <3 your brain.

    my favorite places are:
    #1 forever all-time favorite: . Cafe Madrid in Dallas – cuz its fooood… with cheeeese. and wiiiine. nom nom nom. for hours. with my daddy.
    2. bed. cuz it's comfy and where i sleep and sleep is my favorite
    3. Dirk.
    4. Italy. all of it. see. #1 for other reasons that also apply.
    5. museums cuz i like to look at stuff.

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    Dirk is a dude, not a place…you are a liar you