There are certain things I put into screenplays that are there purely because I want to do and/or see them.
For example, you’ll see several things in WSM? that are just wish fulfillment, such as me getting oiled up and lifting weights in the desert.
You can’t do this in real life, because 1) you’ll be called a freak, and 2) you’re just not allowed.
Seriously – try going to a state park with a weight set and screaming out some reps. They’ll kick you out. Get a camera and a permit, though? You’re good to go.
Anyway, I may have talked about this on the old site at some point, but a dream is to have the following set-up in my house one day:
INT. RICHARD’S HOUSE/WHITE ROOM – MORNING
This is a completely white room – at a glance, it looks like an empty insane asylum cell.
Close inspection shows that all the typical adornments of a bedroom are present – dresser drawers, TV, doors, etc – yet they are constructed so as to be flat against the walls.
A harsh BUZZ goes off, as the massive flat-screen TV shows the time – 5:00am.
On the floor, a man lies in his bed, which is (of course) white and embedded into the floor.
This man is 50, but passes for exactly 32. He is handsome, in a unique way. He is charismatic, without saying a word. He is RICHARD [character's last name redacted], and he opens his eyes.
INT. RICHARD’S HOUSE/BATHROOM – MORNING
A massive, modern bathroom. A TV of similar size is on the wall – it too shows the time. A huge glass shower is in the corner.
Richard enters, stepping out of his pajamas. He presses the shower controls, setting it for 50 degrees. The multiple shower heads spray from everywhere. Richard opens the door, steps inside.
The cold water pours over him. His expression does not change – if anything there is a slight smirk. This water empowers him.
He closes his eyes.
A moment passes, and he hears the CLICK of a GUN behind him. Richard rolls his shoulders, cracking his neck.
CHIN
Do you know who is standing behind you?
Behind him is CHIN MEYERS – he is a Chinese, poor-man’s version of Richard. He is in a full suit.
RICHARD
Hello, Chin.
So even though this is the first page of something I’m working on, I like totally want that whole set-up, right down to the 50 degree showers every morning, but minus the Chin Meyers.
One of these days, I’m gonna work up the courage to start taking the cold showers. I’m not sure why, although according to this, it’s good for you.
As for the fake-empty white room, I have no idea about that, either. In fact, I don’t know why I do anything.
What I do know, is the power went off on the entire street today, possibly because of this.
This non-power-having period instigated one thing – an entire street-full of Armenians TALKING REALLY LOUDLY IN PORTUGUESE.
Now, because I don’t speak their language, I decided it’s Armenian New Year, they cut the power, and they’re all turning into werewolves tonight, at which point they’re coming to kill my roommate.
