BANNER FEB2010

How to Use Twitter if You're Scared of Girls

by Brian on February 10, 2009

in Girls,Twitter

I was informed that my last post on how to use Twitter changed the lives of up to 64 people.

They were all afraid of Choo-Choo the Murderer, and now? They’re free and easy using Twitter, utilizing their fear to enhance the experience.

Equals = having happiness.

What else are people commonly afraid of? Girls, of course. As you well know, Twitter is a wonderful place to meet girls, so allow me to tell you the things I’ve done to successfully do this.

This may turn out to be a series of posts, but let’s start with your initial approach. Here are some that I went with, that were not successful:

@MelissaPR Hey let’s kiss now haha
@JoannaLord Kissy kissy haha c’mon let’s have kissing now lol
@fancyfembot haha now it’s time to kiss!
@h0neyb I am afraid of ghosts haha lol smooch!
@halfbee29 I like dancing! hahaha Okay cool – wanna kiss? :)

By contrast, some openers that have worked for me:

@FollowingBetty Did you see that news about the stock market? We better kiss. thx
@kelliesimpson I am a social media guru. Want to kiss now? thx
@BrokenDoll Hey checked out your website – great stuff. Would like to kiss – let me know? thx
@JessicaDonlon Interesting post re: Obama – will meet up for kissing later? thx
@KeepItClassyJen Looks like you have a great business plan. Kissing sometime perhaps? thx

As you can see, the second set of approaches start out with an intelligent statement of some kind, and then you ask about having some kissing. I think this, in addition to thanking the girl, is key.

I can’t assure you of the same results I’ve had, but I can promise that you’ll get a reaction of some kind, and learning to interact is a step in the right direction.

Let me know how it goes, and remember, fear ain’t nothing but a number or something. thx

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  • Greg Odens tonsils

    I tried this. But rather that using twitter to accomplish this I drove my vehicle to a McDonalds drive thru and asked for two glasses of ice water with ice.

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    I tried this. But rather that using twitter to accomplish this I drove my vehicle to a McDonalds drive thru and asked for two glasses of ice water with ice.

  • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-roberge/a-statistical-guide-to-hi_b_160042.html Bob (aka Tom)

    What if I'm afraid of midgets?

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    What if I'm afraid of midgets?

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I expect better of you than midget jokes.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I expect better of you than midget jokes.

  • mattwatson

    What's more important: opening with a smart question or finishing with “thx” ? Because I'm pretty sure “haha, now it's time to kiss! thx” or “Hey let's kiss now haha thx” would have worked for you.

  • http://www.detroitbadboys.com Matt W.

    What's more important: opening with a smart question or finishing with “thx” ? Because I'm pretty sure “haha, now it's time to kiss! thx” or “Hey let's kiss now haha thx” would have worked for you.

  • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-roberge/a-statistical-guide-to-hi_b_160042.html Bob (aka Tom)

    If it's good enough for David Lynch, it's good enough for me.

    Also, I really am afraid of midgets.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    If it's good enough for David Lynch, it's good enough for me.

    Also, I really am afraid of midgets.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    The most important thing is to overcome the fear, and start asking girls on Twitter to kiss you.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    The most important thing is to overcome the fear, and start asking girls on Twitter to kiss you.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    has shaq called that twissing yet?

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    has shaq called that twissing yet?

  • http://i36.tinypic.com/zx8x0m.jpg Darryl Zero

    But what if women are scared of us? That would seem to be pertinent for most of us reading a blog about baked potatoes.

  • http://i36.tinypic.com/zx8x0m.jpg Darryl Zero

    But what if women are scared of us? That would seem to be pertinent for most of us reading a blog about baked potatoes.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    That's a mind-bender to be certain.

    btw I note by the click-thru stats you people are checking out all those girls I tried to do kissing with. Just keep in mind they have heard all my sweet lines so come up with your own similar ones.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    That's a mind-bender to be certain.

    btw I note by the click-thru stats you people are checking out all those girls I tried to do kissing with. Just keep in mind they have heard all my sweet lines so come up with your own similar ones.

  • Tomosexual

    Well I already kissed most of them — they all taste like monitor.

  • Tomosexual

    Well I already kissed most of them — they all taste like monitor.

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    I expect better of you than midget jokes.

  • http://www.detroitbadboys.com Matt W.

    What's more important: opening with a smart question or finishing with “thx” ? Because I'm pretty sure “haha, now it's time to kiss! thx” or “Hey let's kiss now haha thx” would have worked for you.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    If it's good enough for David Lynch, it's good enough for me.

    Also, I really am afraid of midgets.

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    The most important thing is to overcome the fear, and start asking girls on Twitter to kiss you.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    has shaq called that twissing yet?

  • http://i36.tinypic.com/zx8x0m.jpg Darryl Zero

    But what if women are scared of us? That would seem to be pertinent for most of us reading a blog about baked potatoes.

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    That's a mind-bender to be certain.

    btw I note by the click-thru stats you people are checking out all those girls I tried to do kissing with. Just keep in mind they have heard all my sweet lines so come up with your own similar ones.

  • Guest

    Well I already kissed most of them — they all taste like monitor.

  • http://www.halfbrokehotel.com/2009/02/13/twittering-twittered-tweeting-twoot/ halfbrokehotel » Twittering? Twittered? Tweeting? Twoot.:

    [...] realm: the Twitter.  Apparently it helps with many things that include but are not limited to: conquering fear of girls and conquering fear of monsters.  I’ve always been intrigued by the Twitter, but never felt [...]

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