How To Use Twitter if You're Scared of Fictional Monsters

So these posts about instructing people on how to use Twitter seem to become quite valuable for some reason.

I’m going to fill a need here by solving what I’ve seen a lot on the internet, and that’s people who are unsure how to use Twitter, while at the same time harboring a fear of fictional monsters.

Let me take you through each one.

Frankenstein - This one is tough, because Frankenstein is really super scary for people, since he’s made of pieces of other people. I actually don’t think it’s possible to be afraid of Frankenstein and still use Twitter. :(

Dracula - If you’re afraid of Dracula, you have to use Twitter backwards in order to do it effectively. That’s a post for another time, because it means doing something to the API, and I don’t know what that is. :(

Loch Ness Monster - This is not actually a monster; it’s a creature. You don’t have any worries here – just use Twitter how you normally would. :)

Monstero - Ah, the legendary airplane monster. This one is easy. If you’re afraid of Monstero, and you need to use Twitter, just type twice as hard as you normally would, and say, “BUTTON!” every time you press a new letter. :)

The Ooga-Booga Kid - The Oooga-Booga Kid is one of those fictional monsters that’s actually real, so he doesn’t even fit here. I don’t know how to use Twitter in conjunction with a fear of real monsters. :(

Choo-Choo the Murderer - Seriously, if you’re scared of Choo-Choo, you’ve got bigger problems than trying to use Twitter. He doesn’t even get off the train, so unless like you’re on a train, what are you even afraid of? :/

Godzilla - wtf? >:(

Chomps – I can’t remember. :(

I hope this was helpful. The biggest thing is to go ahead and START USING TWITTER, and let your fear eat you alive. If you don’t do that, then you might have to use Facebook or something. :(

Remember, like Clocker the Clock Monster said, “Fear is only one hour away! SNIP SNIP! SNIP!”

:(