I was over at Kickstarter Dot Com helping support my friend Mike’s project, and thought, “Man, I should have something on here and people can give me money to do it.”
After like 20 seconds, I came up with a good idea, and it’s called The Christmas Bridge.
Don’t get confused by my filmmaking skills – this isn’t a movie project, it’s an actual physical construct.
It’s a real bridge I want to build – a unique bridge, even.
It is imagined and conceived as follows:
1) It’s a bridge that stretches from Cleveland to Columbus, Ohio – this is scientifically proven to be the most boring 200 miles to drive on Earth, and it needs an injection of bridge.
2) It’s always Christmas Day on the Christmas Bridge, and it’s always snowing on it, even in the Summer. Pipes help this happen.
3) This is the Fantasy Island of bridges – if you go on it and make a wish, it’ll come true in a way that teaches you a lesson about learning.
4) Nic Cage is always on the Christmas Bridge, and he’s sledding back and forth, and nobody can figure out how he makes his sled keep going, and he never needs to sleep.
5) Metal is what it’s made of and there are never any tolls except for stocking stuffers, and the stocking stuffers are iPod Nanos.
6) When people get to the other side of the Bridge, they get their Nanos back, but it’s not their own Nano, it’s somebody else’s, but it only has viral videos on it. This is to make everyone want to come back for more of the Bridge experience.
I only need $91,000,000 to build the Christmas Bridge and keep it running for the first month.
The equations I made say it’ll make enough in that initial 30 days to sustain itself.
It’s really important that the Christmas Bridge stay free, because of the Christmas part of the bridge, which is the whole bridge.
This was submitted to Kickstarter this morning, so we’ll see if they approve it.
(This is the type of post I throw together in 5 minutes that makes me register christmasbridge.com, ends up as a whole book concept, and ultimately results in self-hate.)