A Han Solo Movie is a Pretty Terrible Idea, Even My Mom Knows That, and Nobody Has Even Told Her About It
ScreenwritingRecasting Han Solo is the last reason a movie featuring the character is a bad idea.
The Ongoing Adventures of Han Solo isn’t terrible on a conceptual level, but I can’t help but think that instead of a random tale from the life of a galactic smuggler, we’d get this.
EXT. JABBA’S PALACE – DAY
Establishing shot. A small SPACE TOAD tries to eat a bug, but its mouth is TOO LITTLE. It gets a look like MAYBE ONE DAY.
INT. JABBA’S PALACE – DAY
HAN SOLO, early 20s and EFFEMINATE, sits with a tough, older smuggler, BRISP SIAKR.
BRISP
Gonna need a new look, kid.
HAN
Stop calling me “kid”.
BRISP
Then stop lookin’ like a kid, kid. Good smuggler’s a little scruffy. Like this.
Brisp shows off his COOL VEST. Han tries to touch it, a DESTINY LOOK on his face.
BRISP (CONT’D)
Hands off, sweetheart. I love this vest.
Han takes a DRAMATIC PAUSE.
HAN
I know.
Behind them, JABBA THE HUTT slides out on a large PLATFORM. YOUNG BIB FORTUNA shoves two NERF-HERDERS out of the platform’s way.
Han STARES with his DESTINY FACE. Brisp leans in and whispers.
BRISP
Quit starin’, kid.
(off Han’s look)
You don’t screw with Jabba, ever.
HAN
Ever?
BRISP
Ever.
Han tries not to stare, but sneaks another peak, and Jabba WINKS at him. Han gets his DESTINY FACE even more.
BRISP
Take a look.
Brisp shows Han a picture of the MILLENIUM FALCON.
Even if they can avoid the above and make a solid Han Solo film, I’m not sure why they would.
Particularly at this juncture, any film put out under the Star Wars banner will be an instant pop culture moment, and be massively successful. There’s just no way it won’t be.
Why not take that opportunity to introduce an entirely new character, concept, and even timeframe or era?
Were I in charge of the franchise, there’d be an unwritten rule that any non-Episode 7-9 films have to take place either 500 years before or after the Skywalker Era.