Hammer Drills, Boston Fans, Poetry

By On May 1, 2009 · 31 Comments · In Airplanes, Girls, Google, My Art, NBA, Poetry, Super Airplane, Twitter

(Before anything else, @alexiskn won the massive contest of being the coolest person on Thursday.)

Big thanks to @littlefoxy, an explosively charismatic independent filmmaker who helped me re-brand the blog.

This doesn’t mean Prelude to a Super Hammer Drill is coming soon – don’t fret. What it does mean is I had to look up “hammer drill” and make sure it was something I could comprehend.

From what I can tell, it’s like a drill that you have to swing down on some kind of nail/screw amalgam. Like the drill is spinning, and you’ve gotta bash it down onto the scrail at just the right moment, allowing the bit to align with the grooves.

It all seems kinda counter-productive, but if I were gonna go hang out at a construction site one day, I’d hope these are the kinds of activities I’d witness.

The director of WSM? emailed lasterday – he wants you all to know it was the refs’ fault the Celtics lost in triple OT to the Bulls lasterday. It wasn’t Paul Pierce’s fault for laying a weak foul on Noah, thus eliminating himself from the game and giving CHI a three-point-play, all at once.

Nobody understands how hard it is to be a Boston sports fan.

Finally, if you note this Tweet from @ColleenBurns and this witness-style Tweet from @jabberjim, you’ll know I’m really good at a lot of things.

It’s all far too complicated to go into here, but I owe @ColleenBurns a poem. Here’s what I put together, foreshadowing my trip to Orlando this summer.

Brian Spaeth’s Constant Sparkle Two

Silent night,
Holy night,
Constant sparkle,
Yeah that’s right.

Monday night,
Tuesday night,
Constant sparkle,
Summer flight.

Constant sparkle,
Here I come,
Tony Tone Toni,
Maybe go spend the weekend in Tampa.

Constant sparkle,
Like Chernobyl,
Sent via BlackBerry,
From T-Mobyl.

Last thing – @oopspow made up the AirTrain, just in case you see it in my work somewhere one day.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

 
  • Greg Odens tonsils

    Was there a need to re-brand your blog. I was content with your thoughts about airplanes. I may need to find another pro-airplane blog. This one used to be my favorite and now its some bastardized version of your twitter feed.

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    Was there a need to re-brand your blog. I was content with your thoughts about airplanes. I may need to find another pro-airplane blog. This one used to be my favorite and now its some bastardized version of your twitter feed.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I can't see how it's all that different from what I used to do. This is way more fun for me – I like interacting more than just talking from on high.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I can't see how it's all that different from what I used to do. This is way more fun for me – I like interacting more than just talking from on high.

  • alexiskn

    OMG!!! i won coolest person for lasterday!!! woohooo!!! i hope its not the last time… cuz you thinking im cool is like a normal person thinking im like extra-super-duper-special cool.

    also, i love your rendition of constant sparkle!! the last two stanzas are my favourite (yep. i stuck a U in there. just a random moment of feeling canadiaian most likely due to my gonna-be-in-bed-all-day sickness)

  • http://alexisreviews.tumblr.com alexiskn

    OMG!!! i won coolest person for lasterday!!! woohooo!!! i hope its not the last time… cuz you thinking im cool is like a normal person thinking im like extra-super-duper-special cool.

    also, i love your rendition of constant sparkle!! the last two stanzas are my favourite (yep. i stuck a U in there. just a random moment of feeling canadiaian most likely due to my gonna-be-in-bed-all-day sickness)

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    to be fair, i can't remember the last actual thought about an airplane. but that was to be expected.

  • http://www.jenwatch.com orange5o

    to be fair, i can't remember the last actual thought about an airplane. but that was to be expected.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    I'd settle for thoughts about thoughts about airplanes.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    I'd settle for thoughts about thoughts about airplanes.

  • nrojb

    has you pork flu? basketball helps.

  • nrojb

    has you pork flu? basketball helps.

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    But what happens if a hammer drill is used on a baked potato?

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    But what happens if a hammer drill is used on a baked potato?

  • alexiskn

    …maybe basketball in my dreams while im sleeping, cuz i'd really rather not move more than a few inches an hour if at all possible.

    i havent been to Mexico in a year, and haven't eaten real bacon in probably 6 months (i prefer turkey bacon. call me unamerican, whatever), but i think my neighbors and their niños who were petting mi perro el otro día might be Mexican… soooo it's possible.

  • http://alexisreviews.tumblr.com alexiskn

    …maybe basketball in my dreams while im sleeping, cuz i'd really rather not move more than a few inches an hour if at all possible.

    i havent been to Mexico in a year, and haven't eaten real bacon in probably 6 months (i prefer turkey bacon. call me unamerican, whatever), but i think my neighbors and their niños who were petting mi perro el otro día might be Mexican… soooo it's possible.

  • alexiskn

    = mashed potatoes

  • http://alexisreviews.tumblr.com alexiskn

    = mashed potatoes

  • http://www.icanprobablydothat.com Boney

    when I don't focus my eyes on that picture, I see pizza bagels…

  • http://www.icanprobablydothat.com Boney

    when I don't focus my eyes on that picture, I see pizza bagels…

  • TVBrain

    I think it's cute that other teams are playing in the playoffs.

  • TVBrain

    I think it's cute that other teams are playing in the playoffs.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    You won!

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    You won!

  • TVBrain

    Carl Pavano!

  • TVBrain

    Carl Pavano!

  • http://www.icanprobablydothat.com Boney

    shocking that the Indian bullpen almost lost the game… I was as surprised as I'm sure you were.

  • http://www.icanprobablydothat.com Boney

    shocking that the Indian bullpen almost lost the game… I was as surprised as I'm sure you were.

  • DFresh35

    Actually it was a combination of the refs and TNT (who clearly wanted another game to broadcast). They FAILED to show the overhead camera for Ray Allen's three-pointer…it would've definitively shown his foot being in three-point-land…they had no quams breaking it out for Eddie Houses non-three later in the game…

  • DFresh35

    Actually it was a combination of the refs and TNT (who clearly wanted another game to broadcast). They FAILED to show the overhead camera for Ray Allen's three-pointer…it would've definitively shown his foot being in three-point-land…they had no quams breaking it out for Eddie Houses non-three later in the game…

  • DFresh35

    Actually it was a combination of the refs and TNT (who clearly wanted another game to broadcast). They FAILED to show the overhead camera for Ray Allen's three-pointer…it would've definitively shown his foot being in three-point-land…they had no quams breaking it out for Eddie Houses non-three later in the game…