Dwight Howard Hates Soft Tacos :(

By On July 14, 2009 · 39 Comments · In Blogs, Readers, Weightlifting, WSM?

Calvin Stadiums basketball(This blog called Steady Burn caught wind of some WSM? rumblings, saying it appears to be a “sort of irreverent and haphazard production”. If that’s not accurate, I don’t know what is.)

So I’m supposed to be writing exactly what you want me to for the next 12 posts, plus Becky will be 13.

But…I haven’t been able to work out since the surgery. All I can do is take these 30 minute walks that do nothing. My brain is days away from complete shutdown.

Wednesday I’m cleared to at least go on the elliptical machine, and that should spur genuine sweat/breathing/heart-rate acceleration – hopefully things start functioning again.

In the meantime, what more could you want than @jerryricetwo?

YO MAH PICTURE A BOOTY HELICOPTER NOW!!! LOL!!! say a voicemail at it

DAM JUDE LAW GET OUT MAH SOFA wtf bro this night over

JUDE LAW THINK HE ON CSI MEAN HE SLEEPIN ON MAH SOFA?? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??? brb

@trilby_dare YO I PUT SKY CAPN ON DAT TV AND JUDE LAW GOT OUTY FIVE MAH SOFA LOL!!!! omg he still drunk

DIS JUDE LAW AINT MAH FRIEND EVER AGAIN NOOOOOOOOOOO

Is Jude Law actually inside his sofa, or is that just the slang/vernacular? Even I don’t know.

JRtwo’s like my little personal Pinocchio – I just want him to be a real boy. :(

How would you go about getting a passed out Jude Law off your sofa? If these jokes were exactly the same, but I didn’t reveal that they actually came from Twitter, would that solve GOt’s problem? Answer all these questions for me – mah life!

(Follow me on Twitter here. This page has a new picture of my shoulder.)

 
  • http://alexisreviews.tumblr.com alexiskn

    you didn't even mention anything about Dwight hating soft tacos. wtf. you're such a liar.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    He hates them.

  • GregOdenstonsils

    Initially I thought this guy WAS real. I was stunned. I read every post. I laughed at my desk. Then I laughed hardest after figuring out you were the man behind the curtain. Going so far out of your way to create the most irrelevant character imaginable. This is twitter used at its very best.

  • http://petitebrigitte.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/gym2.jpg Mystery Guest

    “Wednesday I’m cleared to at least go on the elliptical machine, and that should spur genuine sweat/breathing/heart-rate acceleration” –AWESOME!

  • Wish

    There is a high school aged kid who works out at the same time as me that looks exactly like Calvin Stadiums. That is some pretty good guerrilla marketing.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    I'd drag him to the elevator and send him down to the lobby. Let him go up and down until he wakes up. He sucks.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    Hey…how did you get a star?

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I'm the admin!

  • TVBrain

    Why does Calvin Stadiums have such a huge Euro-teen following on facebook?

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    But a star? It looks like you're better at commenting than all of us.

    I'm jealous, obviously.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I didn't put it there – it's a Disqus function – do you want to be an admin?

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    Hahah I don't know but he's going to crush them all in 1-on-1.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    Then I might get actual responsibilities – no thanks.

    Have you seen this? You're only 66% hetero, and I think the words body, fireman, and New York contributed to that.

  • http://www.stevenhumour.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/interesting-hairdo.jpg Head Full Of Hairdo

    it's cool that you're a star.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    And @jerryricetwp is an amazing 1% hetero!

  • http://www.stevenhumour.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/interesting-hairdo.jpg Head Full Of Hairdo

    Jude Law is cute. Do you have any photos of him that I can borrow?

  • http://www.stevenhumour.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/interesting-hairdo.jpg Head Full Of Hairdo

    When you borrow to people do you make them sign anything? I like your Jude Law jokes. Do you have any jokes in the color red? I like that color.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I can't see any links on my Berry – will check it out later lol.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    RED GOT GAME ON IN MAH HOUSE mah nintedo broke smh

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    My mobile facebook isn't currently letting me reply to Calvins 1v1 prognostication. I'm calling tomfoolery and shenanigans. Everyone who knows me knows I use the first 201 points to lull opponents into a false sense of security. Dirty tricks that Stadiums uses.

  • http://madpropstobakedpotatoes.com Brian

    I think Calvin only wanted to play to 201

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    Right but he said 327, hence the chicanery and shenanigans call. One of those lawyering tricks. I'll have my revenge! I do like his incorporation of old nicknames into his smack talk tho. An appreciated touch

  • http://alexisreviews.tumblr.com alexiskn

    are you referring to Jude Law? i couldn't think of anything fitting to get him out of my couch, but that's perfect! except that i don't have an elevator…

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    I'm the admin!

  • TVBrain

    Why does Calvin Stadiums have such a huge Euro-teen following on facebook?

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    But a star? It looks like you're better at commenting than all of us.

    I'm jealous, obviously.

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    I didn't put it there – it's a Disqus function – do you want to be an admin?

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    Hahah I don't know but he's going to crush them all in 1-on-1.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    Then I might get actual responsibilities – no thanks.

    Have you seen this? You're only 66% hetero, and I think the words body, fireman, and New York contributed to that.

  • http://www.stevenhumour.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/interesting-hairdo.jpg Head Full Of Hairdo

    it's cool that you're a star.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    And @jerryricetwp is an amazing 1% hetero!

  • http://www.stevenhumour.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/interesting-hairdo.jpg Head Full Of Hairdo

    Jude Law is cute. Do you have any photos of him that I can borrow?

  • http://www.stevenhumour.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/interesting-hairdo.jpg Head Full Of Hairdo

    When you borrow to people do you make them sign anything? I like your Jude Law jokes. Do you have any jokes in the color red? I like that color.

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    I can't see any links on my Berry – will check it out later lol.

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    RED GOT GAME ON IN MAH HOUSE mah nintedo broke smh

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    My mobile facebook isn't currently letting me reply to Calvins 1v1 prognostication. I'm calling tomfoolery and shenanigans. Everyone who knows me knows I use the first 201 points to lull opponents into a false sense of security. Dirty tricks that Stadiums uses.

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    I think Calvin only wanted to play to 201

  • http://www.ndeddiemac.blogspot.com NDEddieMac

    Right but he said 327, hence the chicanery and shenanigans call. One of those lawyering tricks. I'll have my revenge! I do like his incorporation of old nicknames into his smack talk tho. An appreciated touch

  • http://alexisreviews.tumblr.com alexiskn

    are you referring to Jude Law? i couldn't think of anything fitting to get him out of my couch, but that's perfect! except that i don't have an elevator…