Critical @ColleenBurns Updates

It’s early Saturday morning OR it’s late Friday night- it might be noon?

I scanned over @ColleenBurns‘s recent updates to make sure she was still into both basketball and announcing herself into rooms, and one thing is certain: I can’t tell how tall she is.

Those of you who have read me for a long time know this is a crucial piece of information for me. I’m guessing 5-6?

Anyway, this is good:

@jabberjim i know right, who could not love the princess bride?!? “Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.’s?” LOL ::cringe::

I didn’t know that’s how you cringe in the internet, but now I do. Plus, I like The Princess Bride quite a bit.

Then we have this expansion on a previous thread:

@BrianSmith_ i am addicted to benedryl so please help! I admit it!! #iheartbenedryl

It’s no secret that things like cutting and pill addictions are interesting to me, especially when girls do them.

If I can plant a subtle suggestion that @ColleenBurns start cutting as a way to break the vicious hold of the Benedryl, she’ll be one step closer to being someone I can justify having a fake long-distance relationship with.

Major possible drawback:

@Social_Citizen SOOOOOOOO did u like Twilight?!?!?!

This comes off suspiciously like someone who liked Twilight. Book or movie? Doesn’t matter.

Click that category thingie on the said, and you’ll be able to recall my long history trying to read those books.

Anyway, have a good weekend, and if you’re not reading The Blowtorch, you should be. It’s the closest thing to YAYsports! NBA since YAYsports! NBA.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)