Colleen Burns, Bruce Willis, Christmas Child 2

(You guys are so lucky – I wrote an extended analysis of whether I could achieve Hugh Jackman Wolverine levels of vein-bulging, and then thought better of it, for fear it would be taken as vanity, as opposed to the intended biological and scientific analysis of my own torso.)

So of all the girls I’ve linked to on Twitter, it seems @ColleenBurns is the one who you’ve clicked through to the most. Yes, even more than @kelliesimpson.

As such, I’ve decided it was time to tell the tale of her background picture.

Colleen Burns had a problem.

It wasn’t a major problem, and she’d considered calling it a quirk more than anything. Regardless of how it was classified, however, it had just now created a difficult situation.

Colleen’s problem was as follows. Whenever she walked into a room, she would jut one hip out to the side, place a light and casual hand on her other hip in a friendly manner, and then thrust the opposite hand and arm into the air above her, as if she were a modern day princess.

Once she had held this stance for just under two seconds – long enough for anyone present to notice – she would say in a light, pretty voice, “Here I am!”

This display inevitably won her many admirers, and by nature she was friendly and kind, so Colleen typically wasn’t bothered that she literally couldn’t stop herself from doing this.

But today…today it had created a difficult situation. And it was a situation she wasn’t sure how to fix.

What happens after that is just an astounding action sequence, which I wouldn’t even conceive of trying to describe with words.

What matters is Colleen wins the day, and goes on to change America with her walk-into-the-room-and-say-hello stance.

2000′s The Christmas Child might seem a familiar movie to those of you who have been reading this site for awhile.

Haley Joel Osment, Bruce Willis, Sigourney Weaver, and Michael Caine. The story has changed a little from the traditional – it’s worth another read. I will bless you with a taste of Mr. Radby’s production notes.

3) Haley didn’t understand the end where he had to make babies so I told him what a uterus was and his mom got mad at me. LOL!!!

This was an interesting one, because it started out here on this blog, long before I ever had the idea for this Brad Radby book.

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(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)