Cavs, Mavs, Computer Dirt

By On November 4, 2008 · 10 Comments · In Airplanes, Barack Obama, Dallas, Girls, Music, NBA

(I watched but slept through the entire Cavaliers win last night, but they looked great.

Mo Williams is really good at his basketball playing.

I’d like to see Danny Ferry go snag Antonio McDyess once DEN releases him. The guy wants to win, so he’s not going back to DET, but he can stick it to DET by going to CLE, right?

Either way, the big winner in the DET-DEN deal is CLE, provided they’re able to see a wide open window when it’s right in front of them.)

There’s nothing important going on today except for the two candidates’ respective groups deciding the quickest and most efficient manner with which to protest the voting results.

I can only assume this is what will happen – it’s how the country works now.

Concern isn’t something gnawing at me, though. At least not over the election.

No, I’m much more angsty about the reaction to my airplane song from the other day. It was written specifically for someone, and this was her response.

I looooved my song. I wasn’t sure about it at first; it seemed a little plane. Get it? “plane?”

Nah, it was very sweet and just reaffirms our rockstar connection. When u [smudged out/unreadable]? I need some [unreadable]!

Clearly, this girl knows I’m meant to be a rockstar, as opposed to the 14 other professions I’m currently pursuing.

The big problem, though? She must’ve spilled some dirt all over her computer before sending this, because there are crucial pieces of dialog missing here.

What is it she needs? What if she needs anti-poison pills? What if she’s suicidal and needs poison pills? What if she just needs some hugs?

I welcome your analysis, but I have to tell you, a girl who just haphazardly spills soil all over her computer, then sends it to me?

I don’t know if that works long term. Soil is for growing vegetables, not for hiding the true intent of your love-letterish emails.

 
  • Greg Odens tonsils

    Brian, you remind me of that guy who does all of those things!!!

    But seriously, stay away from that girl. I watched Dr. 90210 on E! (Entertainment television)three times last year and he said people that use the internet are 3/4′s as likely to become cutters because they have heightened senses of eating lunches.

  • Greg Odens tonsils

    Brian, you remind me of that guy who does all of those things!!!

    But seriously, stay away from that girl. I watched Dr. 90210 on E! (Entertainment television)three times last year and he said people that use the internet are 3/4′s as likely to become cutters because they have heightened senses of eating lunches.

  • Fios

    According to some stuff, here is what she actually wrote:

    “Nah, it was very sweet and just reaffirms our rockstar connection. When u finally gonna get around to executing Pencils? I need some glue!”

    I’m not gonna lie man, I am jealous. My personals ad has clearly stated a preference for women who like killing horses and so far I’ve only met a girl who enjoys mocking them from afar. Commitment is so sexy.

  • Fios

    According to some stuff, here is what she actually wrote:

    “Nah, it was very sweet and just reaffirms our rockstar connection. When u finally gonna get around to executing Pencils? I need some glue!”

    I’m not gonna lie man, I am jealous. My personals ad has clearly stated a preference for women who like killing horses and so far I’ve only met a girl who enjoys mocking them from afar. Commitment is so sexy.

  • admin

    I’ve read your ads, and they’re mostly of the, “I love my horse, and I would be crushed if an under-30, attractive, swf with an athletic figure killed it.”

    Perhaps showing open contempt for your horse like I did would help? Making her feel like the murder will please you is better than her thinking it will make you sad.

  • admin

    I’ve read your ads, and they’re mostly of the, “I love my horse, and I would be crushed if an under-30, attractive, swf with an athletic figure killed it.”

    Perhaps showing open contempt for your horse like I did would help? Making her feel like the murder will please you is better than her thinking it will make you sad.

  • Fios

    See, and I thought women would appreciate the subtlety. I have changed it to this:

    Subject Line: Love Means Agreeing That Horses’ Reign of Terror Has Come to an End -or- Horses Are Not Immortal, Stop Thinking That They Are
    Me: A Horse
    You: Attractive, Funny, Equipped With Some Sort of Implement Which Would Kill a Horse If Used Correctly
    Ideal Date: You kill me … well, not me literally but a horse … literally.

    PS Does it bother you that I used up-and-down style for the first part but not the last? If so, that is hot.

  • Fios

    See, and I thought women would appreciate the subtlety. I have changed it to this:

    Subject Line: Love Means Agreeing That Horses’ Reign of Terror Has Come to an End -or- Horses Are Not Immortal, Stop Thinking That They Are
    Me: A Horse
    You: Attractive, Funny, Equipped With Some Sort of Implement Which Would Kill a Horse If Used Correctly
    Ideal Date: You kill me … well, not me literally but a horse … literally.

    PS Does it bother you that I used up-and-down style for the first part but not the last? If so, that is hot.

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