I haven’t been able to practice my cardiovascular fitness and weightlifting this week because of how the doctor did cutting on me last Friday.

You know how that one gets my sadness to kick in in a way that is big, but then some cheer came and tried to help me, and you are maybe the one who did that?

Examples are how you know I love Presidents but maybe not like this one from @ZeroKNS that came with the mailman on his visit yesterday:

That seems like a fun controversy about who is more popular in the clouds.

Also sometimes remember my old business turtlecalls.com and now there are people like @MayKat33 doing politics to make it keep trying to happen with arts and crafts:

Then some YOU CAN HAVE SELF-VALUE warmed over me and I made this one for myself:

So hopefully today my physician will take an attitude that’s more like GET BACK TO WORKING YOUR BICEPS, GUY.

I was talking this weekend with a book reader, and the book they had read was mine.

This was my first book – the one where I admit I’m deceptively muscular.

They were like, “what does that mean” to me in their live broadband video note, and I was wearing a baggy sweatshirt so I showed them this picture.

“Is that even the same guy,” is what their face meant to say, and then they wanted to know some famous people who maybe had this condition, also.

Joel McHale took his shirt off on Community and now he has a DM trophy. Ben Affleck could be DM if he wanted to.

Ryan Reynolds was DM until he just started having his shirt off all the time, which made it undeceptive.

That’s the big-time temptation of being DM. There’s an urge to let everyone know, like how I put in that hazy picture above or how the Force goes bad guy for some people in Star Trek.

Also me and Joel (and Christian Bale sometimes) work really hard to get like this so if you’re naturally muscular or (especially) blatantly muscular, you’re boring.

Go to the dog pound!

I am really having the crazy day this time on my dot com blog. lol

(This is my outgoing mail today.

Also, this picture happened with a pseudo-Polaroid Android app.)

So I was at the gym yesterday getting ready to make my muscles happen some more, and as I opened my gym bag, I realized I hadn’t put anything in it.

There was just one stray weightlifting glove – I never use these cause I’m a tough man – and a pair of old ePod headphones.

There were no workout pants and/or shorts.

I had a t-shirt on, so no problem there. But I also had on jeans.

I sat in there contemplating what to do for about 15 minutes. I took off my shirt while I did this so anyone who walked in would think I was in the middle of changing, and also so I could do my narcissism I like to have sometimes.

Ultimately I decided to drive away in my car to someplace to buy some pants, and then came back to the gym.

I crawled in so the staff wouldn’t have deja-vu and get scared about how their minds worked.

Have you ever worn casual clothes to the gym.

Okay so the other day I posted that stuff about how the dude couldn’t see the moon because of the workout supplement he was taking.

I guess I was confused, because @The_Real_LLC read it as the guy just couldn’t see the sky or something.

The one thing I know for sure is that this guy’s log of his experience is amazing.

Some more:

Vision side effect, I went to bed I couldn’t see a thing, the window blinds were open and there was light outside, but whatever spot I looked at it went dark but I could see from the side of my eye, for example if I looked at the widow directly there was nothing, but as soon as I rotated my eyeballs away from the window I could see it clearly.

my biceps are sore more than ever and I am loving it.

That last sentence is an LOL for sure, but I still don’t understand how this works.

i just got back driving over one hour at night, a little uncomfortable because all the incoming headlights looked yellow tinted and was confusing especially looking in the rear view mirror

Seriously – I thought in the other entry he couldn’t see when he was looking at something?

PS. I didn’t get enough sleep last night due to the energy drink, so I felt really tired today and somewhat lightheaded, but tomorrow is chest day and I’m ready to rip it up

Oh.

i went outside while the lights were off and tripped over a chair, it hurt like son of a b—h, even my son who was walking with me looked at me like (how in the hell you didn’t see that chair!)

Kids are so silly – don’t they know daddy is getting big and strong.

just wanted to report about my vision, the moon was so bright last night according to my wife, she said the whole room was lit, well i couldn’t see a thing, i couldn’t even see where the window was

This next one is also interesting, although not vision-related.

The new [redacted] tastes different, kind of like fiberglass glue, not that I tasted fiberglass glue, but it tastes like the smell of fiberglass

: /

Whatever – regardless of whether this stuff works, I need to understand how this vision side effect works. It seems there’s not just a problem with the moon, but also with seeing windows.

Should I try this stuff or not? I’m still waiting for Mommy to get in touch telling me not to – she may have stopped reading the blog again.

As you may or may not know, long ago I was a personal trainer, a brief gig that sprung mainly from my love for health and fitness.

During that time, I tried probably every nutritional supplement possible, and even now continue to keep an eye on the newer stuff coming, some of which might be deemed “borderline legal”.

It’s rooted in a longing I have to be offered a role where they’re like, “This pays a lot of money and it’s yours, but we need you to put on 20 pounds in two months.”

When that happens, I’ll call and apologize to my mom, then speed-race to the nearest steroid dealer I can track down with more excitement than anyone has ever done anything with.

Anyway, there’s an interesting product swirling around that surely will be banned sooner rather than later.

Perusing a message board where some people are trying it out, apparently there’s a small vision-based side effect that accompanies the ingestion of said product.

Here are some posts made by users.

Occasional blurred vision side [effects] are still something that will have to be taken in account till there is a sure fire way to either stop it or lower the chance of getting it.

Slight and occasional blurring. Annoying, but somewhat mild really.

I did have a blurred vision. It wasn’t much but I remember having to concentrate more to focus on things. I also had a vision sides during the day – yellow tint, color cycling and a definite blurring.

What.

i don’t think any of us experienced blurred vision, we only lost the ability to see farther at night; we could only see where the light was aiming at. also it took longer to adjust from light to dark places, and at night we couldn’t see the sky even with a full moon.

Oh.

God.

BUT DID IT MAKE YOU BIG AND STRONG.

To preface this, you need to know that I locked my keys in my car about a week ago, and the AAA guy that came to get them out was FURIOUS at my ineptness, especially when it turned out the keys weren’t even in the car.

So I was on Blackberry Messenger with the same person I was on with when it happened last time.

Brian: Gah damn it I left my lights on now my battery is dead

Girl: Omg brian
Girl: You have so many car troubles

Brian: I swear I call AAA once a week lol

Girl: LOL

Brian: it’s not the car it’s me – just always in a hurry

Girl: Omg if that same guy some again
Girl: Comes

Brian: Lololol oh god it’s even more cold today

Girl: Lol forever

Brian: I will buy him this romance novel from borders
Brian: IMG00608.jpg ( 77.03KB )

Girl: LOLOL

Brian: I’m just like “sorry man I know it’s cold I got this for you”

Girl: “This should keep you warm at least a little”

Brian: Lol
Brian: Oh man it is cold out

Girl: : (

Brian: My hands have frostbite and no longer work

Girl: R u wearing shorts again
Girl: Oh no lol

Brian: LOL
Brian: Like my car won’t start and also I tripped on the curb and fell down and can’t get up lol

Girl: LOLOL

Brian: Nobody will help me lol

Girl: Lmao
Girl: Omg

Brian: I’m loling for real right in the middle of the store lol

Girl: Lol lol lol

Brian: Oh god the car just started now what lolol
Brian: He will get here and I won’t be lol

Girl: LOL SHUT UP

Brian: I will leave the book on the ground with a sorry note

Girl: Omg I’m dying
Girl: LOL
Girl: Horrible

Brian: Oh man I am glad I can share this with you

Girl: Lol omg me too brian

Brian: going to the gym – time to get big and strong!

What happens to all my BBM pals when the Google Phone takes hold of my life January 5th? Do you think I can still find ways to have mobile instant messaging fun?

I spent about an hour and a half yesterday watching the marathon of the two original V miniseries on SyFy while I worked.

When I was done with that, I stopped pretending to get work done, and instead embraced my wild nostalgia for the subsequent 8.5 hours.

After that, I went and read the recaps of the single season of the regular TV series.

It wasn’t until I reached this synopsis of the last episode that I realized what a profound effect this franchise had on my work, particularly the type of writing I’ve been doing for about the past year.

When Diana learns that Mike and Philip have agreed to a friendly fencing exhibition, she orders James to make sure the swords are deadly — instead of unarmed exhibition weapons, Mike and Philip will use swords charged with nuclear disintegrators.

Now, if that doesn’t sound like it’s right out of my Brad Radby book or my Saved By the Bell Begins, I don’t know what does.

After reading that, I couldn’t help it, and started watching the episodes on thewb.com – particularly because of the way Marc Singer’s Mike Donovan embraces the action jump, the action run, the action ladder-climb, the action casual walk, and the action going-out-to-dinner.

Those of you who have seen 2WO G2N G2Y – which is nobody – would be as shocked as I am to see I’m basically doing Mike Donovan in that role.

You can watch some choice Donovan clips right here.

Oh, and if you’ve read my Prelude to a Super Airplane book, you know that the V screengrab at the start of the post was also good for a mild heart attack.

What is your favorite kind of action thing to do and when was the last time you did it.

(This blog called Steady Burn caught wind of some WSM? rumblings, saying it appears to be a “sort of irreverent and haphazard production”. If that’s not accurate, I don’t know what is.)

So I’m supposed to be writing exactly what you want me to for the next 12 posts, plus Becky will be 13.

But…I haven’t been able to work out since the surgery. All I can do is take these 30 minute walks that do nothing. My brain is days away from complete shutdown.

Wednesday I’m cleared to at least go on the elliptical machine, and that should spur genuine sweat/breathing/heart-rate acceleration – hopefully things start functioning again.

In the meantime, what more could you want than @jerryricetwo?

YO MAH PICTURE A BOOTY HELICOPTER NOW!!! LOL!!! say a voicemail at it

DAM JUDE LAW GET OUT MAH SOFA wtf bro this night over

JUDE LAW THINK HE ON CSI MEAN HE SLEEPIN ON MAH SOFA?? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??? brb

@trilby_dare YO I PUT SKY CAPN ON DAT TV AND JUDE LAW GOT OUTY FIVE MAH SOFA LOL!!!! omg he still drunk

DIS JUDE LAW AINT MAH FRIEND EVER AGAIN NOOOOOOOOOOO

Is Jude Law actually inside his sofa, or is that just the slang/vernacular? Even I don’t know.

JRtwo’s like my little personal Pinocchio – I just want him to be a real boy. :(

How would you go about getting a passed out Jude Law off your sofa? If these jokes were exactly the same, but I didn’t reveal that they actually came from Twitter, would that solve GOt’s problem? Answer all these questions for me – mah life!

(Follow me on Twitter here. This page has a new picture of my shoulder.)

So since my surgery I haven’t been allowed to lift at all. Like, I’m not supposed to strain my face.

As such, I’m starting to get brain-slow and feel weak and soft and depressed. I can take walks, but there’s teen angst boiling up inside.

BOIL! BOIL! BOIL AND A BUBBLE! TROUBLE BUBBLE!!!

I’m allowed to hit the gym in a condensed and cautious manner a week from today – let’s hope I make it that long. And really, Calvin Stadiums is so very worthy of your attention on Facebook – this week, he’s chronicling his 2005 World Record Hot Air Balloon Ride.

I wasn’t nearly as close as it looked, but later we did get closer and I dropped the camera in the volcano to see what would happen. Since the camera melted, I could get a picture of that. Plus, a camera can’t take a picture of itself anyway. When we stopped for more fire for the balloon, I bought another camera.

Oh, also – I’ve made friends with this girl @RCAstyle on Twitter, and periodically ask her to do little artistic set-ups at her office for me. It’s pretty fun:

That one was “Write CHUCK D FOREVER on a piece of paper, and then put it on your desk next to an upside-down stapler.” The underlining was a bit of improv that I feel really improved the piece.

(Follow me on Twitter here. And follow the stupendous @alexiskn also!)

(Personal Wolverine – 1 and 2 are good sized and in regular rotation – the others are secondary, and only appear on special occasions.

I know I could give them promotions with the right training and perhaps performance enhancing drugs.)

Here, at long last – the true story of my dislocated shoulder, and my subsequent fear/passion with shoulder injuries.

Getting your shoulder hurt is like the worst thing ever – I’d rather have a broken face than a damaged shoulder, and I’ve had both, so no frontin’.

(If you’ve been reading the Brad Radby book, you know he shares my obsession with getting a hurt shoulder – this is probably my favorite instance of it.)

Anyway, I dislocated my shoulder in college, wrestling in the front room of my fraternity house, and for weeks afterward, it was all swollen and horrible, and I couldn’t lift my arm above my head at all.

For the record, the exact sound I made when it happened was, “AACCH-GERRGHHH!!! OH NO!!! MY SHOULDER!!!”

I guess I don’t really have a point, other than this would be a fantastic reason to go on Oprah. She would ask me all about it, and I could say interesting things like:

“Yeah, it hurt so bad.”

“Oh man, I hope that never happens again.”

“Who all seen my dislocated shoulder – that’s kinda where I was coming from on it.”

“Let me tell you, if I see a wall, and someone who wants to wrestle me, I’m outta there.”

“At first I thought it was dislocated, and it turned out I was right.”

“I’ve also sprained my ankle before. Not even half as painful as dislocating my shoulder.”

“It hurt…it just…hurt…” (Followed by a slow, emotional breakdown into tears – real ones.)

“Sometimes, I wonder if my shoulder is really back in place at all, y’know?”

Yeah, that’s all – please tell me of your shoulder injuries, and I’ll compile them into a new book, In Times of Dislocation: A Story of Shoulders.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

I need to finally take the time to do a full analysis of this Wolverine movie poster.

I first saw this like a month ago, and it’s fascinated me ever since.

Not so much because of the abundance of bulging veins, but because I’m trying to determine how and why this scene/scenario could be in the movie.

Options:

1) He’s just escaped from some important thing, and is venting his victory angst.

This is certainly possible, but logic says this would’ve happened just outside the woods, instead of some arbitrary spot in the middle of the field.

There’s no delineation point in this field that says, “okay, now I got away for sure.”

2) He’s just killed someone of great importance, whether good or bad.

Accidentally killing a loved one or an important enemy are both things Wolverine would do, if he had to, but I see no dead bodies anywhere here.

When you kill someone important, you usually emit your angst right over the body – you don’t take a few steps away and do it.

3) He was just walking along, and decided to stop and scream at the sky.

Wolverine is one tortured individual, so this is the most likely case. I really hope this scene is in the movie, exactly in this context, and I hope it’s the first scene, and the second scene, and all the other scenes.

(You guys are so lucky – I wrote an extended analysis of whether I could achieve Hugh Jackman Wolverine levels of vein-bulging, and then thought better of it, for fear it would be taken as vanity, as opposed to the intended biological and scientific analysis of my own torso.)

So of all the girls I’ve linked to on Twitter, it seems @ColleenBurns is the one who you’ve clicked through to the most. Yes, even more than @kelliesimpson.

As such, I’ve decided it was time to tell the tale of her background picture.

Colleen Burns had a problem.

It wasn’t a major problem, and she’d considered calling it a quirk more than anything. Regardless of how it was classified, however, it had just now created a difficult situation.

Colleen’s problem was as follows. Whenever she walked into a room, she would jut one hip out to the side, place a light and casual hand on her other hip in a friendly manner, and then thrust the opposite hand and arm into the air above her, as if she were a modern day princess.

Once she had held this stance for just under two seconds – long enough for anyone present to notice – she would say in a light, pretty voice, “Here I am!”

This display inevitably won her many admirers, and by nature she was friendly and kind, so Colleen typically wasn’t bothered that she literally couldn’t stop herself from doing this.

But today…today it had created a difficult situation. And it was a situation she wasn’t sure how to fix.

What happens after that is just an astounding action sequence, which I wouldn’t even conceive of trying to describe with words.

What matters is Colleen wins the day, and goes on to change America with her walk-into-the-room-and-say-hello stance.

2000′s The Christmas Child might seem a familiar movie to those of you who have been reading this site for awhile.

Haley Joel Osment, Bruce Willis, Sigourney Weaver, and Michael Caine. The story has changed a little from the traditional – it’s worth another read. I will bless you with a taste of Mr. Radby’s production notes.

3) Haley didn’t understand the end where he had to make babies so I told him what a uterus was and his mom got mad at me. LOL!!!

This was an interesting one, because it started out here on this blog, long before I ever had the idea for this Brad Radby book.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

I can’t help but feel a little sorry for Allen Iverson.

At this point it’s become clear that what his career was always about – not being able to play well with others – is what is career actually was always about.

He’s having major sadness about it, and even though I like him, I’d love to see Cavs-Lasers in the first round, because I think all of their various issues would eventually result in the ultimate Sheed meltdown for all-time.

This whole thing where the Wolverine movie has leaked online isn’t that big a deal. I mean, it sucks and it’s wrong, and I’ll be similarly angry when I accidentally leak my movie online tomorrow, but I don’t see it having a huge effect on the box office.

Go read David Poland’s analysis – I think it’s correct.

What’s great is that no matter if it makes a ton of money or tanks, the leak with be credited with doing that.

They’ve got their “out” if it doesn’t perform, and then Wolverine stands in a field and screams. If it takes off, then it was so good, people went and saw it anyway, and Wolverine stands in a field and screams.

If it’s right in the middle, Hugh Jackman stands in a field and screams, but not as Wolverine. Nobody writes anything about it in this last scenario.

(Side note: I don’t think I’m genetically capable of having that many veins pop out of my arms, but I’m now determined to try. Originally this entire post was about that.)

Today’s Brad Radby movie is 1999′s Dr. Wall Street, with Ben Affleck, Al Pacino, Minnie Driver, and Bruce Willis.

One day at the businessman cigar club, Ben finds out his Minnie Driver is also Al’s secret wife, and that she’s from England. The double-crosses are happening everywhere, and it turns out Bruce is bad, and Al knows it, and Minnie knew also, even though she’s never met Bruce.

When Ben finds this last one out, he pulls the fire alarm and runs down the street in the rain, and he’s holding important files when he does this.

I ended up rewriting this one quite a bit, but in the end it came out pretty funny, probably because of the surfing thing in the credits. This was also the first of the book’s soon-to-be excessive and borderline offensive use of the term “The Big C”.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

Sorry about the rescinded trade, OKC.

Was Tyson’s tattoo of a farmer on his inner forearm what made him fail the physical?

He went in and the guy was like, “What can I ink you with, Tall-ey?” and Tyson looked at the wall and all the stuff, and finally he’s like, “How about this farmer? That’s really slick.”

I got a shout-out on Keep It Classy Jen’s podcast yesterday, merely by asking her to give me one. I highly recommend befriending her on Twitter, because she’ll say things like this:

@brianspaeth Whoop Whoop!

Honestly, I would link directly to this stuff, but this girl has so much going on I can’t figure it out.

This (I believe) is the hub of her various activities, called The Classy Closet. There’s a bunch of good-looking girls who blog there about being classy.

I think this is the link to yesterday’s show, where she goes on and on about me for like 15 minutes – it’s pretty embarrassing, really.

In any case, I was leaving the gym this morning and they have one of those revolving doors. Totally not paying attention, I rushed in to catch the leaving section, and there was someone already in there.

It was hilarious – she was really nice and we did on-the-lips kissing for awhile. (Sorry Alana – it was only because it was such a this-never-happens situation, and didn’t mean anything.)

Jordi watched WSM? – I honestly can’t tell wtf he’s talking about here.

(UPDATE: Okay, the link at the end of his post sheds a lot of light on wtf he was talking about there. For the record, the entire movie is on the DVDs.)

(Happy Birthday, Michael Jordan – your gift is a horrible Tyson Chandler trade by the Hornets.)

I just watched the A-Rod press conference, and I’m pretty sure ESPN reporters/anchors are dense, and A-Rod mis-planned his agenda a bit.

Some bullet-pointed thoughts:

1) “Bole” is clearly the Dominican slang for Primobolan. No doubt they think this is like a secret street drug, however. Please someone help them clear this up.

1a) Primo is the American slang.

1b) I know these things because as you well know, I love everything steroids and HGH have to offer. They make you big and strong – that’s so cool. Plus, needles.

2) You don’t buy it “on the streets”. You can buy that over-the-counter in pharmacies down there, and it’s totally legal.

3) Ripped Fuel is an ephedra-based fat burner sold by Twin Labs, and it’s still produced, minus the ephedrine. You can still get the original if you’re clever.

3a) Ripped Fuel (the old version) works. I miss having it readily available.

4) A-Rod wants us to think he was the most naive 24-year old on Earth. Sorry – if he took it when he was 16, I’d buy the young and stupid stuff.

I simply can’t accept that someone who had been in pro baseball for six years was clueless as to what he was doing. Especially someone as obviously intelligent and savvy as Alex Rodriguez.

4a) Manny Ramirez could sell that – not A-Rod.

5) I did appreciate the fact that he sat up there and took questions, and wants to leave it behind him. He was pretty frank in many respects, and came off as very human. Go forth and do your baseballing.

Really, this entire post was for point #1, because somewhere there are any number of journalists pumping out 1000-word columns about how aghast and offended they are by the “illegal street steroid bole”, crafting awkward metaphors about Alex Rodriguez in the back alleys of the Dominican.

So like honestly I just didn’t have anything to write about on here today.

I’m finishing one thing, working on another thing, and then there’s a third thing, plus email and Twitter.

I’m writered out. As such, I asked for a topic on Twitter, and this was the first one through, from @AmandaMoss.

@brianspaeth Butt kissing, unintelligent Corporate asses.

Here’s the thing about Butt-kissing, Unintelligent Corporate A–es – they’re always going around doing their Butt-Kissing when you least expect it.

For example, one time when I had my office job, I was in the boss’s office, showing everyone how to do push-ups, and in walks the biggest Butt-kissing, Unintelligent Corporate A– we had at the place. Let’s call him “Worker X”, in order to protect his identity, which is that his real name is Mike Waterson.

So Mike walks in, and he’s like, “Hey boss – great speech at the corporate get-together yesterday! Working for you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me! I would work here for free, because I believe in what we do!”

Everyone groaned, because not only had Mike done his Butt-Kissing again, but the corporate get-together was two days previous, not yesterday. Plus, now nobody knew how to do make lemonade, which is what I was going to show everyone after the push-up demonstration.

Everyone hated him and his Corporate Butt-Kissing – Mike Waterson couldn’t see it!

By the way, I have no idea what my job actually was at the office. I never did anything other than walk around goofing off, but everyone liked me, so like nobody said anything. Then one day I quit, because the joyful hip-hop moves in my step while at work was all an act.

Corporate Butt-Kiss that in an Unintelligent Way, Mike.

Due to increasingly being tagged in this over on my Facesbook, and in honor of the 250th post on BTAA, here is my official “25 Things You Didn’t Know About Brian Spaeth”.

1) I don’t want anyone to know anything about me.
2) I like to be an enigma.
3) I keep secrets about myself.
4) I have a bad shoulder tattoo.
5) One time, I didn’t tell anyone anything about myself.
6) I have been known to be private.
7) I have a twin sister.
8) My twin sister won’t tell you anything about me.
9) I wrote my entire family into the first and only novel I will ever write.
10) You can get $3 off that book through Monday with this promo code: JGPTR476
11) I make a wonderful chicken dish.
12) I use Twitter.
13) My Twitter feed is becoming more useful than my blog at generating humor.
14) I had to walk a horse around in the background of CSI:NY once, and Gary Senise told me I looked scared of the horse.
15) Gary Senise can see inside my soul with regard to horses.
16) I don’t like telling people things about me.
17) I don’t like you telling people things about me.
18) I like telling things about you, as long as it doesn’t involve me.
19) I don’t want anyone to know I am yoked.
20) I once had to kiss a girl on the set of Las Vegas, and I screwed up twice on purpose because her boyfriend was there.
21) Scoop Jackson is my favorite writer at ESPN, and I don’t think he gets a fair shake.
22) I ended Gilbert Arenas’s career. (Not on purpose.)
23) I once told a tall girl we needed to reproduce for the advancement of mankind.
24) I don’t want attention drawn to me that I did not initiate in some fashion.
25) All of this said, I love being the center of attention.

Really, my book has everything you could possibly want to know about me, plus it’s all fictionalized. Why haven’t you bought it yet?

(By Twitter request, here are some alternate views of the shoulder tattoo.)

Real quick – this is from Aint-it-Cool-News, injecting some coverage into Stallone’s next movie, which btw sounds like it’ll have lots of toughness and explosions.

He’s getting back into a leaner form, as opposed to the grumpy goliath of Rambo.

Say whatever you want about steroids and HGH – he’s 62 years old. OFF-HOURS WEIGHT-LIFTING tonight.

Now, the main thrust of this post – I completely missed the sizzurp movement, wherein hip-hop guys are addicted to a purple cough syrup based drink.

I discovered it in this coverage of the Lil’ Wayne doc that was at Sundance, and if not for that, I would’ve assumed syzzurp was imaginary. However, it’s right here on Wikipedia, which makes it true.

Purple drank is a slang term for a recreational drug popular in the hip-hop community of the southern United States.

Its main ingredient is prescription-strength cough syrup containing codeine and promethazine. Cough syrup is typically mixed with ingredients such as Sprite soft drink and pieces of Jolly Rancher candy. The purplish hue of purple drank comes from dyes in the cough syrup.

There are numerous slang terms for purple drank, including sizzurp, lean, syrup, drank, barre, and purple jelly.

This is right behind cutting in the “how exactly does one decide to start doing this” area.

It came at the perfect time, because I was considering posting a somewhat funny, but ultimately subpar, deleted chapter from Prelude to a Super Airplane, which featured a hip-hop based character. (This wasn’t included in the actual Deleted Scenes of the book itself – it was ejected completely.)

Anyway, I think sizzurp addiction is the ideal solution to what was ailing it, so look for that sometime soon.

Finally, I would’ve been thrilled to know the Cavs, without Z and West, were coming out of this road trip 2-2. With lasterday’s win over GSW, they can do a 3-1 by beating Utah tonight, so I’m happy.

The best part of the whole thing is this thread on the Insiders Cavs MB, which was started three days ago.

LeBron was in some Browns gear for some commercial campaign he’s got coming up.

I’m man-crushing pretty hard on him since the Celtics win, so I think these are amazing. He fills it out well, and I don’t know how many other NBA guys you could say that about.

(LeBron2010 DOT COM – your feed is for the entire “realcavsfans DOT COM” message board feed – I don’t want that. Please adjust.)

If you’ve ever wanted to know what it’d be like if I did a guest post on a female-centric blog, today’s your chance to find out.

By the way, I’m totally willing to do guest posts for your blog, but only if I feel like it, and only if you set up a plausible fight scenario for me to write about involving a choo-choo train vs a person or character of some note.

Finally, if you’re the guy at my gym who fits the following description, listen up – I’m going to give you advice:

1) You wear 4-6 sweatshirts so you look bigger.

That’s really the only lasting impression I have, because it’s so ludicrous. You’re not that cold.

Anyway, twice in the past week, I’ve watched you walk up to girls at the gym, hand them your number, say something like, “you look really great – if you want to call me, go ahead,” and then immediately depart.

It’s starting to bug me, and if I see you do it again, I’m gonna say something. You’re horrifying these girls – I can see it their face. It’s not just because of your 4-6 sweatshirts, either. (Although they know you’re not that cold, as well.)

Ask her something – ask her anything – she is human being. Even try saying hello before you shove your number down her throat. Ask her if she can draw Texas from memory.

(This works, btw – I have tried it.)

(Hey Browns – nice coaching hire. WTF?)

I know it’s just an intern/staffer, but the fact that Arnold follows me on Twitter is exciting.

They post news updates re: the activities of the Governor – lots of these are links to his press conferences.

As a fan, having new Arnold material is refreshing and seductive. I’m establishing the lines of communication, building up to asking this staffer if they think the Governor could still beat a choo-choo train in a fight.

If you’re not following me yet, go do so – today I’ve pledged to use some form of the word “tag” in every Tweet I make. (As of this writing the site is all tagged up – does this happen a lot? All day yesterday it was acting funny.)

Jim Rome had Kobe on his show yesterday, and they recalled a story wherein they saw each other at a bar on a Saturday night in the off-season, and Rome wanted to go get dinner. Kobe declined, because he was going to lift weights. He’d been sidetracked from his morning workout, and had to go get it in.

Off-Hours Weightlifting is also a thing that I can’t imagine LeBron doing ever, and when I knock him, this is why. Is it an unreasonable standard? I don’t know – I’ll bet Tiger and MJ did Off-Hours Weightlifting. I do Off-Hours Weightlifting. It is what it is.

Overall, this week has been exhausting. My eyes hurt, and not in a good way. In a bad way.

I’m going to try and keep off the internet altogether this weekend, but may pop in when my Twitter addiction calls to me. (The world is heading straight to Wall-E, isn’t it?)

Anyway, I’ll have definitely one, and maybe two more book excerpts up today. It’s tough, because I want to post certain things, but really want those things to unravel in the natural course of reading the book.

It’s written in a certain order and way for a reason, and obviously it’s not exactly a “this happens, and then this happens, and then this happens” narrative style. Because you’re following so many characters, you’re left to make certain connections for yourself, which is part of what makes it a fun read.

What I’m really looking forward to is when you guys who have bought it start sending me your thoughts. I think it’s the type of thing that should inspire tons of discussion and speculation and joke-making among fans of it.