From the category archives:

Twilight

Alexis & Calvin & Danny & Petey & Twilight

by Brian on November 24, 2009

(WSM? Chapter 4 is on hold until next week – if you didn’t notice, Facebook was all jacked up yesterday.

It prevented uploading, and since like the US takes the rest of the week off from the internet cause of Thanksgiving, it seems kinda silly to do it now.

By the way, we are now in the iTunes Store, so if you’re having problems with the streaming HD versions, you can subscribe to WSM? via this link. )

I’m lacking in my own instant messaging transcripts to re-post, I thought I’d put up this one between @alexiskn and @iamboney, who gets credit for me posting on the Twilight Facebook Page.

ALEXIS: i just realized this morning that calvin stadiums is gilbert arenas
i think

DANNY: haha
DANNY: umm yeah
DANNY: der

ALEXIS: yeaahh
ALEXIS: i figured out petey in like half a second
ALEXIS: i have no idea what took me so long
ALEXIS: or i just never thought about it

DANNY: umm, who’s petey
DANNY: petey skippen?
DANNY: that’s how I met Brian, he was supposed to meet Gilbert Arenas for the movie so he was here in DC
DANNY: but that fell through, so he met his #1 fan

ALEXIS: youre his #1 fan and you don’t know who petey skippen is?

DANNY: nope
DANNY: never thought about it, honestly
DANNY: :-\

ALEXIS: umm
ALEXIS: wait
ALEXIS: you mean you don’t know who petey is, or you don’t know who his character is supposed to be?

DANNY: just tell me who it is so I can agree that I know
DANNY: jeez

ALEXIS: scotty pippen!
ALEXIS: so easy
ALEXIS: btw, fyi, i’m sending this convo to bri-bri

DANNY: …

What’s a bit frightening is those are the most obvious jokes in the whole movie.

Calvin isn’t as obvious as Petey, at least not until Chapters 8 and 9. Actually, Petey isn’t obvious yet either, but both these two have seen the movie multiple times.

What else is going right over viewers’ heads? I lose touch on that front cause like the jokes all started in my brain – like it only took me a week to figure out that Petey was a Scottie Pippen avatar.

Those of you who have seen the whole thing – how quickly did you catch on to Petey and Calvin?

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{ 16 comments }

Andreanna Marsupial & the New Moon’s Glow

by Brian on November 21, 2009

in Books, Harry Potter, Super Airplane, Twilight

I was doing a reformat on the Kindle version of Prelude to a Super Airplane over the weekend, and totally forgot there’s an amalgamated Twilight + Harry Potter series of novels that are part of the 19th subplot.

Anyway, Chapter 30 of PTSA was actually an excerpt from one of the books.

I thought this an apt time to post it here – if you’ve never read the Twilight books, sadly this is exactly what they’re written like. Everything after this sentence is lifted directly from my book.

30
(I know this has nothing to do with airplanes, but I wanted to put it here, because I’m hoping if I put like a blurb on the cover, I can sell more copies of the book.

This is an excerpt from “Andreanna Marsupial and the New Moon’s Glow”, the fourth book in the Andreanna Marsupial saga. All material is copyright of the author, Stephenie Piperbraum, or however you say that correctly.)

CHAPTER 143 – THE END OF ACT 1

I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know if I should or not. The television was sitting there in front of me, and I’d been looking at it for several hours, debating whether to turn it on or not. My father, Lugustus, had bought the television many years ago – it was old now, but when he bought it, it was new.
[Like here is how to read the rest.]

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WSM DVDs, @alexiskn, Keanu Cold Fusion

by Brian on April 14, 2009

in Books, Brad Radby, Bruce Willis, Girls, Twilight, WSM?

Okay, these long-lost DVDs go back out today – the list: Drew, Tim, Dan, Gabe, Jeremiah, Eddie, and Yubo.

Those are all the ones that returned to me, just about two months after they were originally sent. Once again, way to go Post Office.

So @ColleenBurns‘ friend down in Orlando is @alexiskn, and while I promised her I’d name my band At Alexis Kay Enn, this doesn’t satisfy her raw, savage craving for my attention:

@alexiskn @TheNoLookPass woohoo!!! cant wait til i start gettin’ some love, too! (AHEM @brianspaeth!)

@alexiskn bored. laundry. tummy ache. and for the record, mad props to baked potatoes (.com)

Now, while @ColleenBurns is gaining on my list of favorite Twitter girls, never, ever forget that @halfbee29, @kelliesimpson, and @MelissaPR are 3 of the 4 top seeds in the inevitable tournament.

(Prediction: @halfbee29 will request removal from anything to do with this by the end of the day.)

This @alexiskn is interesting in her own right, though – don’t write her off as an @ColleenBurns wing-girl. Check out her profile:

i love my dog, cheese, robots, wine, movies, feather pillows, clive owen, texas, typography, museums, macs, beaches, dirk nowitzki and LOST. i hate purple.

Minus the dog and museum, everything’s looking nice – I’ll bet she doesn’t even know I had an adventure in Texas last year, or that I have a horsey named Pencils.

Like, @alexiskn and me could hang out and talk about Lost, movies, robots, and fonts for hours, providing she locked her dog in the closet.

That said, I’d really like to see how she reacts to me putting a photo of @ColleenBurns in her post. I couldn’t help it…I love when girls wear glasses, even if they apparently love Twilight, and are standing next to JJ Reddick while he’s having high blood pressure.

@alexiskn, in sharp contrast, hates Twilight, like normal people do.

Finally, just so this isn’t completely about other people, go read up on the latest from Brad Radby, 2001’s Dragon’s Game, Back 2 Back.

Keanu is back as the President once again, and this time it’s gonna be even harder for Bruce Willis’s Hank Dragon to stop him from launching all his cold fusion missiles.

When they get to the Iraq, they go undercover to find out the truth, and when they do, it’s even worse than they thought, because the cold fusion missiles are huge. Bruce decides that this time it’s personal, and he’s going to punch Keanu harder than ever, and everyone will know the truth about their bad guy President.

By the way, I don’t know why people buy books that are on the internet for free, but it seems to be working for me so far.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

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{ 93 comments }

Critical @ColleenBurns Updates

by Brian on April 11, 2009

in Blogs, Girls, NBA, Twilight, Twitter

It’s early Saturday morning OR it’s late Friday night- it might be noon?

I scanned over @ColleenBurns’s recent updates to make sure she was still into both basketball and announcing herself into rooms, and one thing is certain: I can’t tell how tall she is.

Those of you who have read me for a long time know this is a crucial piece of information for me. I’m guessing 5-6?

Anyway, this is good:

@jabberjim i know right, who could not love the princess bride?!? “Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.’s?” LOL ::cringe::

I didn’t know that’s how you cringe in the internet, but now I do. Plus, I like The Princess Bride quite a bit.

Then we have this expansion on a previous thread:

@BrianSmith_ i am addicted to benedryl so please help! I admit it!! #iheartbenedryl

It’s no secret that things like cutting and pill addictions are interesting to me, especially when girls do them.

If I can plant a subtle suggestion that @ColleenBurns start cutting as a way to break the vicious hold of the Benedryl, she’ll be one step closer to being someone I can justify having a fake long-distance relationship with.

Major possible drawback:

@Social_Citizen SOOOOOOOO did u like Twilight?!?!?!

This comes off suspiciously like someone who liked Twilight. Book or movie? Doesn’t matter.

Click that category thingie on the said, and you’ll be able to recall my long history trying to read those books.

Anyway, have a good weekend, and if you’re not reading The Blowtorch, you should be. It’s the closest thing to YAYsports! NBA since YAYsports! NBA.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

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{ 12 comments }

PTSA Review: Eddie

by Brian on February 17, 2009

in Books, Food, PTSA Reviews, Readers, Super Airplane, Twilight, Twitter, WSM?

(So those pictures from the “take a picture of my book with food” contest are rolling in.

This is but a preview – there was a whole series of these from Joseph and his chocolate fountain.)

Since the first time I ever went to like a “real party” with “college girls” and “alcohol” was at Notre Dame, the following review holds a special place in my heart – it’s from NDEddieMac, who you may recognize as a commenter, and a lawyer in training.

I was but 15 when that “real party” happened, and it changed my life. I vividly remember taking notes on what was going on around me, and thinking how I could apply it to my own life.

Anyway:

Well Brian, I know I for one am looking forward to Flight of and Funeral for a Super Airplane!

If Becky is right then ok, I have the literary taste of a five year old boy, but whatever, enjoyable is enjoyable. Good stuff man.

I am curious though, did you map out the connections at first or just make some of them up as you go. If it is the former well played, if it is the latter so so so much better. One of the funniest jokes which I’m sure will be frequently overlooked is had to be the AM chapter you threw in to show the painfulness of Twilight. From MPTBP/BTAA and this I know that Twilight has to be the worst series of all time.

Great stuff, and since I’m already emailing you, when you said 15 of the WSM? screeners were spoken for the other day, did my email the other day make me one of those 15, or is there some hoops that must be jumped through. Thanks, and keep up the chicanery

Yes, Eddie did get a WSM? screener – I’d imagine most of you that did should be seeing them today, if you don’t already have it in possession.

You can follow Eddie on Twitter here, and he has a blog over here.

I love these reviews, so please do send your feedback, even if it’s negative – I really do appreciate it. Also, if anyone wanted to go leave their thoughts on Amazon…I wouldn’t be aghast or anything. [NOTE: insert smiley here? - perhaps a winky smiley? Come back to this later - u r handsome - B]

Oh, and I got engaged for like the fifth time on Twitter lasterday.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

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{ 14 comments }

HORSE, GEICO, FRDIT

by Brian on February 6, 2009

in Girls, Google, NBA, Twilight, Twitter

(This site is already #7 in Google for Kellie Simpson.)

Okay, so I’ve really kinda struggled to put into words why I think HORSE at the All-Star Game is an awful idea.

I’ve equated it to watching people play video games, which is maybe the worst thing ever.

I had a friend in HS who would invite us over all the time to make us watch him play video games under the guise of, “Hey, I got some beer.”

We’d all get there and he’d have one 40oz, which he’d already drank. Then we’d watch him try to beat whatever version of Final Fantasy was current.

Anyway, Robert Carroll, who you can follow on Twitter here, and who OMG – use to write the YAYsports! NFL page, summed it up perfectly.

@brianspaeth I like the concept, but I get the feeling it’ll turn into the jump shot equivalent of Nate Robinson’s dunk contest.

Exactly what I couldn’t quite put into words.

This goes one of two ways:

1) Get deadly jump-shooters as the participants, who will take 4 hours to miss.
2) Get Nate Robinsons, who will turn it into watching the Globetrotters.

If I had to pick one, I’d much rather watch the first one – at least there would be some tension. The second one will just be dumb, but maybe this is for kids, and I shouldn’t worry about it. I guess it’s kinda like the Twilight books, ie I can’t comprehend how someone could be excited for this at all.

Also, they’ll be spelling GEICO, not HORSE. At least they could’ve had them spell something random like FRDIT, which would’ve been fun as far as listening to the announcers.

That, and have that truck there driving back and forth across the court during the match. That I would watch with great excitement.

“OOOHHH!!! Jamal Crawford was just about to try the double loopy-doopy backwards three-pointer, but the rear bumper of the truck took out his right leg! Guess he’s got F-R-D now! Wacka-wacka-wacka!”

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

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{ 14 comments }

PTSA Review: Becky

by Brian on January 30, 2009

in Blackberry, Brad Radby, Bruce Willis, Cleveland Cavaliers, Girls, LeBron James, NBA, PTSA Reviews, Super Airplane, Twilight

(PTSA is Prelude to a Super Airplane, my book. You can read all about it here, and then you should go and buy it.)

Occasionally I hop on Blackberry IM with Becky, who those of you who were on the last blog will remember is a cool enough girl to warrant the female lead in WSM? being named after her.

Becky also got a previewish copy of PTSA, and has read it. (You can also follow her on Twitter here.)

Keep in mind, Becky knows me really well at this point. We’ve met in person more than once, shared many conversations, and none of my trickery works on her.

Anyway, I’ve posted the entire chat, in order to allow the full context of all statements to be known. We discuss her thoughts on the book, some of the characters, whether I should most the chat to the internet, whether I should be in The Avengers movie, and the scary secret of what happens to me when I get scared.

This also took place during the second half of the Cavs game. As you’ll see, my prediction for the fourth quarter was accurate.

Becky: So
Becky: I finally finished reading that thing you wrote

Brian: What the book?

Becky: That
Becky: Yes

Brian: And…?
[Like here is how to read the rest.]

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Eddy Curry, Vanessa Hudgens, ESPN.com

by Brian on January 13, 2009

in Girls, Misc, Movies, NBA, Twilight

(I yanked this off my old website. I have to admit, that was pretty good joking arounding.)

Well, if you haven’t read, Knicks center Eddy Curry is the latest in a single line of professional basketball players to be embroiled in a gay sexual harassment lawsuit.

I wasn’t going to even mention this, but then I read the following, which apparently came out of Eddy’s mouth during his advance-making on the guy:

“Look at me, Dave, look.”

Eddy was standing naked in his office when he said this, covered in Pringles. What’s even more amazing is the fact that the guy is only asking for $98,000.

My ongoing affair with hating everything Twilight has taken a turn for the confused, as Vanessa Hudgens has possibly been cast in the sequel as a werewolf.

I know this makes me a bad person, but I love this girl.

I LOVE HER.

There are two websites I’m currently having issues with – one is the ALL-NEW ESPN DOT COM. As not seen below, rolling over the upper button immediately initiates a large drop-down menu that covers up the button I really want, ie “NBA”.

I simply don’t have time to be precise enough with the mouse to avoid this. Please fix it.*

The second website is my own. As you can see below, Wordpress has a “turbo” button in the upper right corner. I’m afraid to click it.

Anyway, I’m going to see Clint Eastwood Bullies Asian Kids – be back later with an engrossing and amazing interview with myself.

*This is twice today I’ve demanded others fix their websites to suit my needs.

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Vegetable Trivia Game Update

by Brian on December 16, 2008

in Batman, Movies, Twilight, Vegetable Trivia

(These are some excellent search terms people use to find this blog.)

It’s been almost exactly three months since I’ve updated my Vegetable Trivia Game, so I thought I’d better do it.

I’ve seen a startlingly low number of new releases this fall, and since all I do now is re-watch The Dark Knight on DVD, I can’t see that changing in the next month or so.

Here are the latest additions:

Swimming Pool
The Ladykillers (2004)
The Transporter
Dirty Pretty Things
Missionary Man
The Foot Fist Way
Leatherheads
The Girl Next Door
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Eagle Eye
Body of Lies
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Twilight
Goodfellas
Forrest Gump
The Godfather
The Godfather Part 2
The Godfather Part 3

Not one, but two movies, jumped into the bottom ten.

One of these was direct-to-DVD, and the other was Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

Yes, I saw this. I had been hired to write another chihuahua movie, so it was research, okay? And honestly, I expected to like it – I like kids movies, and I like nice things.

That said, it was really terrible. I mean truly, it was a mess. On top of that, the poster features the male chihuahua, and he’s not even the main character.

Truthfully, I thought you could cut him out altogether and the movie wouldn’t change at all. Anyway, whatever, etc.

Since I know you’re dying to know – Twilight came in at #405, between Runaway Bride and X-Men: The Last Stand.

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Twilight, Cameron Richardson, Bush

by Brian on December 15, 2008

in Blackberry, Fashion, Girls, Movies, Politics, Twilight

Okay, so I finally watched Twilight, albeit not exactly in a theater.

Let’s just say I saw it “somehow”, and get to what matters – what did I think?

In comparison to the book, it’s far superior. In comparison to other movies, it was far inferior.

I know that’s not very specific, but it’s no less true. The movie wasn’t horrible, but it was bogged down by an obvious attempt to stick to the source material.

Had they moved farther away from the book than they did, it would’ve been decent. Like, maybe just keep the names, and do everything else differently?

Another movie I watched this weekend was Alvin and the Chipmunks – the live-action one from last year.

You know I like “nice” things, so this was totally watchable for me, especially since the girl in Alvin and the Chipmunks was someone named Cameron Richardson.

Really weird, because she was awesome in this movie, but the Google search shows she looks a little different when she’s not in Alvin and the Chipmunks.

I mean, she’s still really good looking and all, but when she’s in non-Alvin and the Chipmunks material, it’s just not the same.

I don’t know – maybe it’s because all her non-Alvin and the Chipmunks material sees her in the role of “slut” or “seductive slut” or “regretful slut”. She does sweet and nice really well, as seen in Alvin and the Chipmunks – her agent should push for those roles.

Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Anyway, what else is going on in the world on this Monday?

Someone threw a shoe at President Bush over in one of those Middle Eastern countries. I thought he took it really well – he seemed to actually think it was funny.

What struck me as significant was that no Secret Service Agents came to the scene for about 30 seconds.

Like, the guy was able to get two shoes launched before they even got anywhere near him. I think he would’ve had time for a third, as well.

I wish I had more to say that was funny, but I think peaked with the Christmas Child, with his pretty eyes and his Christmas Smile.

I feel like it can only go down from there?

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← Previous Entries

Twilight

Alexis & Calvin & Danny & Petey & Twilight

Andreanna Marsupial & the New Moon’s Glow

WSM DVDs, @alexiskn, Keanu Cold Fusion

Critical @ColleenBurns Updates

PTSA Review: Eddie

HORSE, GEICO, FRDIT

PTSA Review: Becky

Eddy Curry, Vanessa Hudgens, ESPN.com

Vegetable Trivia Game Update

Twilight, Cameron Richardson, Bush

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