From the category archives:

TV

10+ Hours of V

by Brian on November 2, 2009

in Screenwriting, Super Airplane, TV, Violence, Weightlifting

I spent about an hour and a half yesterday watching the marathon of the two original V miniseries on SyFy while I worked.

When I was done with that, I stopped pretending to get work done, and instead embraced my wild nostalgia for the subsequent 8.5 hours.

After that, I went and read the recaps of the single season of the regular TV series.

It wasn’t until I reached this synopsis of the last episode that I realized what a profound effect this franchise had on my work, particularly the type of writing I’ve been doing for about the past year.

When Diana learns that Mike and Philip have agreed to a friendly fencing exhibition, she orders James to make sure the swords are deadly — instead of unarmed exhibition weapons, Mike and Philip will use swords charged with nuclear disintegrators.

Now, if that doesn’t sound like it’s right out of my Brad Radby book or my Saved By the Bell Begins, I don’t know what does.

After reading that, I couldn’t help it, and started watching the episodes on thewb.com – particularly because of the way Marc Singer’s Mike Donovan embraces the action jump, the action run, the action ladder-climb, the action casual walk, and the action going-out-to-dinner.

Those of you who have seen 2WO G2N G2Y – which is nobody – would be as shocked as I am to see I’m basically doing Mike Donovan in that role.

You can watch some choice Donovan clips right here.

Oh, and if you’ve read my Prelude to a Super Airplane book, you know that the V screengrab at the start of the post was also good for a mild heart attack.

What is your favorite kind of action thing to do and when was the last time you did it.

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Bruce Willis’s Friend With the Kid Made Me Cry

by Brian on August 20, 2009

in Books, Cleveland Browns, Cleveland Cavaliers, Film, Lost, Misc, Music, TV, WSM?

I was thinking about having a good cry the other day, and then because my actoring is a bit rusty, decided to wait, and not do that thing.

Instead, I made this list of actual pieces of commercial media and entertainment that have made me produce tears, be they sadness tears or happiness tears.

BOOKS:
Catcher in the Rye (Like when he catches the rye finally. I think it’s a metaphor -)
Of Mice and Men (When Lenny does his dying.)

MOVIES:
Armageddon (When BW’s friend who has the kid runs up to the kid when they get back to Earf.)
The Grapes of Wrath (The end.)
Wall-E – A couple times.
The Incredibles – When Dash finally lets loose in the jungle.
Team America – I literally was crying with laughing the first time “AMERICA – F–K YEAH!” played.
The Iron Giant – Twice.
Big Fish – the end.
Field of Dream – duh.

TV SHOWS:
Lost (End of last season – I was just overwhelmed in general at the end.)

MUSIC:
N/A

SPORTS:
Cavs (Too many to list – last time was when they finally got to the Finals – Game 6 vs Pistons in 07.)
Browns (First game back in Cleveland in 1999.)
Indians (When they got to the 95 World Series.)

BLOGS:
Both Teams Played Hard (Just now.)

I’m sure there are more – but this is all I can think of right now. I’m sure some music must have made me cry, but I dunno. What commercial fare has made you shed tears the most, and why do you think it did that.

(Go join the WSM? Facebook Page – it’ll be the only place to see the first teaser…on Sept 1.)

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MCM, Rollbots, The Vector, and You

by Brian on July 22, 2009

in Blogs, Books, Grammar, TV, Twitter

(I want to hand a post off to someone I met via Twitter a few months ago, who to me is like a Canadian force of nature.

He’s got a lot of stuff out there, and if you’re looking to self-publish books, he gets mad amounts of downloads, and tracks the stats (with analysis) over at his blog, which is entertaining, as well.

Guy’s got some new stuff coming out, and I thought you would find it cool. You know I’m a huge baby about my personal space, therefore you also know I’m like doing being serious here. Everything after the vid is the enigmatic “MCM”.)

Hi, I’m MCM and I’m insane. Above, you can see the trailer I made for my TV show, “RollBots” (airing on the CW4Kids in September) about spherical robots in a Hot Wheels world.

I’m also writing a mystery novel called “Fission Chips” where the audience decides what happens next. If you like being a bastard, you’ll like it. I cry myself to sleep every night because of what people suggest in the polls.

My newest book is “The Vector”, about a woman trying to survive a crumbling world dominated by bio-hackers and machete-wielding Chinese agents. You can read it for free on my site, with new chapters every Monday and Wednesday. There’s lots of blood in there.

Thanks to Brian for letting me post here today. I suppose I will now have to delete those incriminating photos of him with the toga, hedge clippers, and four geisha girls from Oregon. A deal’s a deal.

(MCM is also on Twitter. On a scale of one to ten, what you would use your personal RollBot for. Also, I’ve stopped using question marks for at least the next two months. How do you feel about this.)

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{ 48 comments }

SAVED BY THE BELL BEGINS (PART 4/4)

by Brian on June 19, 2009

in Blogs, Brad Radby, Saved By the Bell Begins, Screenwriting, TV

Rod Belding (This is it – the conclusion to my big budget, theatrical Saved By the Bell reboot movie. Links to the Intro, Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.)

Zack is inspired for sure now, and decides to get serious and organize a Zack Attack. He has to hurry, because Keanu has pushed the button, and the bronchitis is making its way through the tunnels to Bayside City, and it’s going to come out of all the nuclear oil wells right during the the Miss Bayside City Pageant, which is happening at halftime of the Valley City-Bayside City Professional Football Bowl, sponsored by Buddy Bands.

Just to make sure nobody tries any tricks, Keanu also has tied all Zack’s friends to different nuclear oil rigs throughout Bayside City, and if any of them are untied from the oil rigs, then the nuclear oil will destroy everything in the United States that Keanu doesn’t like, and that’s like a lot of things, and that’s what Keanu tells Zack in his video blog dot com email.

Zack is like all hardcore about having lots of guns strapped to him, and uses his jet-ski to sneak down the Bayside City Canal and get Screech free, who then uses his nerd tricks on the computer to get Kelly free, and then Slater gets Jessie free, and he calls her “Momma,” and that’s so the people watching the movie can have tingles about their nostalgia again.

Now the gang is back together, but while they were busy getting free, the bronchitis got everywhere, and now everyone in Bayside City is coughing really hard, and the stores are out of Dayquil, so everyone is overdosing on Nyquil, and the news people remind everyone that if you fall asleep with bronchitis you can die. Keanu is on top of the main nuclear oil rig taking bids on the land from the Portuguese gangs, and everything is on fire because he’s smoking a big cigar so close to the nuclear oil.

That’s when Zack gets everyone together and says that only by working together can they stop Keanu, and they all do like a jumping group-high-five, and then get to work climbing up the nuclear oil rigs around Keanu’s oil rig, and then like jumping from their rig to his, and Keanu sees this happening, so like he’s always making their rigs have a nuclear explosion right as they jump off.

That’s really real, but the heroes are serious about just how Zack this Attack really is, and they knock Keanu’s rig down to the middle of the football stadium, which is now filling up with nuclear oil, and Zack is even more mad because a goose died when it got nuclear oil on its feathers and lungs, and that’s when he stands up like a man and rips the last shreds of his tattered Bayside High t-shirt off, and even Slater is like, “Whoa, Preppie – what are you doing??” and Zack looks at him like Bruce Willis and says, “For once…the right thing,” and it’s the most intense thing anyone has ever said ever in a movie.

There’s a big fight in the middle of the pageant between Zack and Keanu, and the good guys win when they use their friendship strategies to drop the Bayside City History Tradition Bell on Keanu just in time, and Zack calls in a favor with Johnny Dakota to get more Dayquil, and like it’s clear that there are gonna be more adventures and that’s THE END.

During the credits is when Jay-Z does his modern and legit hip-hopping version of the original Saved by the Bell theme, and it’s close enough to the old one that everyone watching cries, because they’re also showing black-and-white still photos from the TV show along with the names of the people who made the movie.

At the end of the credits, there’s a trail of oil footprints that lead into the Oval Office, and you can hear Keanu muttering, “Let’s see you save THIS by the bell, Morris…” and that’s an ominous meme for the next movie, The Bayside Knight.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

(That’s it – I think I might actually make some calls on this. Follow me on Twitter here. Read my Perfect Strangers Begins summary right here – it’s Bruce Willis as Cousin Larry, and Antonio Banderas as Balki.)

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SAVED BY THE BELL BEGINS (PART 3/4)

by Brian on June 18, 2009

in Brad Radby, Movies, Saved By the Bell Begins, TV

KELLY KAPOWSKI (This is the third part of my summary for a proposed big-budget reboot of Saved by the Bell, titled Saved by the Bell Begins. Casting and excessive rationale is here. And Part 1 is here. And then Part 2 is here. Read all those before you move forward.)

Lisa explains that all the things that have been happening are not coincidences, and that they need to be careful, and not to go to Valley City. Then she does a wink-and-click, and Zack is all like “Whoa, you were in the booty babe jury!” and she does another wink-and-click, but the click sound is in stereo this time, because Lisa can throw her voice. Slater does a click too, but nobody listens, because Artie was in his mouth.

Zack has on big high-tops.

Everyone gets in Mr. Belding’s spy airplane and heads to Valley City, where Zack and Kelly and Slater and Jessie put on tricky disguises and look for the bronchitis containers in an abandoned mall that’s full of holographic-mannequins. It’s scary, so a lot of almost-kissing happens between Zack and Kelly, and then between Slater and Jessie, and then between Zack and Slater. After shutting down the mannequins, they find the silos, and see the bronchitis swirling and bubbling inside, and then notice huge holes all over the ground. Zack and Kelly do some action spelunking, and follow the hole all the way down to a tunnel, and then the tunnel goes to an upside-down hole, so they follow that up, and come out in Bayside City!

That’s not all, because Keanu and his men are there, and they’re trapped, until Slater shows up in his hot muscle car, and he’s wearing a pink tank top. They get in, and there’s a big car chase, and Jessie is not so excited at all because she forgot her pills, and now she’s so scared instead, and she tells Zack this so that the audience can cheer some more about their childhoods.

After a big crash with 426 other cars, Zack gets away, but Slater and Kelly and Jessie get captured, and as they’re dragged away, Slater is like, “Heeeeelllllppppppp ussssssss, Prepppppiiieee…” and that’s in slow motion because Zack is having internal conflict, and because it’s raining.

Zack goes back to Mr. Belding’s spy airplane, and it’s all shut down because he’s getting indicted for doing date rape on Miss Bliss, and that’s because Keanu used his President powers to make everyone think that about Mr. B.

Screech invites Zack for a sleepover, and they talk about how hard it is to be having life issues, and Zack breaks an Elvis statue because of how mad he is, and some documents fall out of Zack’s pocket, and these were documents he picked up at the mall for no reason. Screech thinks maybe they were important after all, because they have big words like “IMPORTANT” and “HANDS OFF” on them in Keanu’s handwriting. Screech reads them with help from his robot Kevin, and they say that Keanu’s plan is to kill everyone in Bayside City with the underground bronchitis, and then auction off the land to Portuguese gangsters from Valley City for big money.

Well, Zack is pretty upset about the Portuguese bad guys maybe taking ownership of his condo, and he decides to give up, because his life was simpler when it was just about making money and delivering morally questionable arguments and action-packed evidence on behalf of his celebrity clients. That’s when Screech gets electrocuted by Kevin, and that’s because Keanu put a lightning virus in him, and also Kevin has on a Darth Vader costume when he does this. Keanu’s men take Screech hostage and make him go and be a prisoner with Slater, Jessie, Kelly, and Lisa.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

(Tomorrow is the stunning conclusion.

Go read my free movie book Brad Radby’s Brad Radby for more of this type of action and follow me on Twitter here, where I randomly ask people to call and sing to me during the day. Yesterday brought a stirring rendition of “Eye of the Tiger: from @StacyHead.)

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SAVED BY THE BELL BEGINS (PART 2/4)

by Brian on June 17, 2009

in Brad Radby, Movies, Saved By the Bell Begins, TV

AC SLATER (This is the summary for my proposed big-budget reboot of Saved by the Bell, titled Saved by the Bell Begins. If you missed the intro, including casting and excessive rationale, you can find it here, and then Part 1 is here. You should probably read that first.)

Zack is thinking like he better help fix this, because that’s what his job is as an action lawyer who loves money so much more than people. He almost gets too excited about making so much hardcore money, so Zack stops the movie and says something charming to the audience about what he’s going to do next, and there’s a finger-snap-and-point that he does, to make sure everyone knows that Zack is serious about making that money and getting a bigger beach condo.

When Zack lets the movie start again, Mr. Belding sends him and Slater and Kelly to a hot dancing club called The Max, so they can meet up with the spy scientist that is helping them find out secrets about Keanu’s bad guy plans, and the spy scientist is Jessie Spano. During some cool and trendy dancing and more love triangling, they find Jessie, and Zack is mad because he realizes she’s the one who shot a bazooka at his shoulder when he was on the water-blimp.

That’s when Zack starts to know how serious this is, because he remembers seeing all the big silos of bronchitis on the water-blimp, and he gives those clues to Jessie to work on all night, and she plans to take lots of over-the-counter stay-awake pills to be able to do that, and she’s so excited about it. Because his dancing is too great and slick, Slater gets in a pushing match with the rival football players from Valley City, so that’s a fist-fight to have at this part of the movie. Zack and Slater are both trying to impress Kelly with their good punching they can do, but she knows sexy mini-skirt karate, and she can vote in all the same elections they can, also.

When they get done doing all the fighting, Keanu’s secret service men arrest Zack and Slater, and take them to the first nuclear oil rig field, so Keanu can give them a speech about not messing with his cool and important fossil fuel-based plans. Then the first bit of nuclear oil comes out, and Keanu tastes it, and it’s the good stuff for sure, and that’s another meme. He gets ominous about telling them to stop asking so many questions, and then tells his government fashion nurse, who is Lisa Turtle, to fix them up and then let them go, so that his men can capture them and beat them up again, and she’s supposed to have this go on for a week.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

(Wow. Part 3 tomorrow – if you found this to be a thing that you liked, you should go read my movie book, Brad Radby’s Brad Radby, which is online over here and costs you nothing. Keanu has won like six Presidential elections in there, as well. Also follow me on Twitter, because that’s a meme also.)

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SAVED BY THE BELL BEGINS (INTRO)

by Brian on June 15, 2009

in Brad Radby, Movies, Saved By the Bell Begins, TV

A couple points of interest before you read the greatest thing ever written for people raised in the 80s and 90s.

1) This is envisioned as a feature film – like a big, $150M summer tent-pole.

2) Don’t be fooled by the fact that the cast is primarily the original cast. It’s a complete reboot, not a continuation. Think Batman Begins – nothing from the TV show “counts”.

3) If this was done how I’ve laid it out – like an over-the-top, ridiculous Michael Bay style action movie – I challenge you to admit you wouldn’t see it. I’d venture to say a lot of you would pay $50 a ticket and see it at least ten times, just like I would.

4) Everything would be played totally and completely 100% straight. No winks-and-nods to the audience, except the one time that there’s a literal wink-and-nod.

With those parameters – and links to all four parts of the summary are below – I give you…

SAved By the Bell Reunion 1

LOGLINE
When President Rod Belding schemes to install nuclear oil rigs across Bayside City, his brother Richard forms a team of elite specialists to save everyone…by the bell.

CAST
Mark-Paul Gosselaar…Zack Morris
Mario Lopez…AC Slater
Tiffani Thiessen…Kelly Kapowski
Elizabeth Berkley…Jessie Spano
Lark Voorhies…Lisa Turtle
Dustin Diamond…Samuel “Screech” Powers
Hilary Swank…Tori Scott
Claire Forlani…Miss Bliss
TBD…Johnny Dakota
Kevin Costner…Mr. Belding
Keanu Reeves…President Rod Belding

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(If you like what you’re seeing, you should really go check out my free book, Brad Radby’s Brad Radby – there’s a little something called Perfect Strangers Begins in there.)

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Next on Jon & Kate + 8

by Brian on June 4, 2009

in Girls, Marriage, TV, Twitter

I’ve only seen this show once for 10 minutes, but because I love reading about paparazzi action, I’ve recently become really into their adventures.

The summation is thus: they had twins, then had an additional litter of six. TOTAL OF EIGHT KIDS. Got a reality show on TLC.

Kate is a slightly controlling/cold sort, who’s become enamored with her own fame and looks like a completely different human than she did two years ago.

She’s also stated for the record that she has an “obligation to the public” to keep her children on TV for the duration of their collective childhoods.

As you can imagine, Jon looks like he wishes he were still eligible to go on spring break.

Allegations and rumors of two-way marital malfunctions are rampant, and the kids have no chance. I’ve been talking it up on Twitter.

Next on Jon & Kate + 8, Jon slings a guitar over his shoulder and walks away from the house in slow motion.

Next on Jon & Kate + 8, Jon drinks by himself in the dark and listens to Dido.

Next on Jon & Kate + 8, Jon watches Fight Club 47 times in a row.

Next on Jon & Kate + 8, Kate grounds the kids for not spending their allowance on her new book.

Next on Jon & Kate + 8, Jon fails in his attempt to snowboard into a tree at 88 miles per hour.

Next on Jon & Kate + 8, Jon makes up a fairy tale to explain his new cutting habit to the kids.

Next on Jon & Kate + 8, Kate hires a marketing firm to re-brand the twins.

Next on Jon & Kate + 8, Jon is conflicted when he learns his will to live is no longer part of the ongoing storyline.

Next on Jon & Kate + 8, Kate considers whether to re-conceptualize the show as Kate & Kate + Kate.

Next on Jon & Kate + 8, Jon decides to hide his soul @Public_Storage in case Kate wants a snack.

Next on Jon & Kate + 8, Jon has a nervous breakdown when he sees an old friend as a contestant on The Bachelorette.

This will go on until I run out, which should be never.

Their media onslaught has inspired me to sit down and actually watch the show, so I haven’t even begun to mine material. The one segment I did see was Kate telling the kids they were getting puppies, and then stating that she’d already named them, and those names were not negotiable. I need to see it again, but I’m pretty sure you can actually see the life-force of one of the twins drain from their body at that point.

Side note: avid blog participant @alexiskn has reviewed Prelude to a Super Airplane over at her secret identity website. She has Disqus comment/points system, so go be all, “OH YEAH GIRL!!” like @jerryricetwo.

Add’l side note: I have no Finals pick – I’m just not interested. Sorry. :(

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here – it’s available in paperback, or iPhone/Kindle for only 1.99.)

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Lost, Jacob, Etc.

by Brian on May 14, 2009

in Lost, Misc, TV

(I apologize for no jokes and no content this week, but I’m not in a position to do any of those things for you. I’m barely even Twitter-based until Monday.)

***This is 100% spoiler free, in case you haven’t seen lasterday’s Season Five finale yet.***

One of the many reasons I love Lost is because you could hand that concept to another set of creators – even with a lot of the pieces in place – and it would be a completely different show.

It’s creative-bankruptcy-proof.

Take the base idea – a group of strangers crash land and are stranded on a mysterious island – and it still doesn’t really tell you what the show is about.

What’s interesting is this goes against every rule of Hollywood, ie you could hand the high concept to almost any Adam Sandler concept to ten writer/director teams, and while the quality/jokes/characters will vary, you’ll probably get more or less the same movie. (That’s not a criticism, by the way.)

If you’ve read me for a long time and lived through one of my tantrums, you know this is something I strive to emulate – I rarely fear telling people my ideas, because I don’t think most people would know what to do with a “dead snake/magic basketball movie” or an “epic, pretentious, and stupid 47-story airplane reading book“.

The other thing I love is that the shows creators have absolutely no fear of turning the entire thing on its ear every season. If you watched the season finale lasterday, you know it’ll all be different next year again.

And just like the Season Five ender, there will be many theories and predictions, none of them will be right, and yet whatever they do will seem to fit right into the mythology.

Go Cavaliers and WORD UP.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

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Water Missles, Sports Media 2009

by Brian on May 4, 2009

in Blogs, Guns, NBA, Social Issues, TV

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about different ways to attack other countries, and I came upon the idea of giant water missiles.

Like you could hover them over the grid and be like really threatening with them, and all the countries would be scared because you’re just like, “Yeah, you guys are our enemies and you’re gonna be drenched.”

Just a thought.

All my sports blog friends – please don’t take offense to the following at all – it’s not a condemnation on the work you do. It’s simply what TOO MUCH INFO has ultimately resulted in for me.

Those of you who try to talk sports with me in various venues may be finding that it’s increasingly difficult to determine whether or not I have any idea whether or not I know what I’m talking about.

The cold, hard, harsh, viral truth of this tempest is because I probably don’t. I have, as of lasterday, dropped the last of the sports pages/blogs/sites from my feed reader. The only thing I do is go to NBA DOT COM to see when the big game is on.

(If you must know – that last one was Henry Abbot’s TrueHoop. It’s not a reflection on Henry – he’s a great writer and I like him tremendously. And I do still have Trey Kerby’s the Blowtorch on there, because if you look close, he’s not actually writing about sports.)

Somewhere I just found I was enjoying the games more, the less I read about them.

Now that I’m riding totally knowledge/analysis free and instead spending my time talking to girls on Twitter, it’s amazing. When it really hit me was when I found out Jason Terry was Sixth Man of the Year from the ABC broadcast. Like, a full day or so after it was announced, even.

I love trophies.

Anyone else experimented with living a life of under-saturation in the Age of Over-saturation? What’s your experience or thoughts on this in general?

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

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← Previous Entries

TV

10+ Hours of V

Bruce Willis’s Friend With the Kid Made Me Cry

MCM, Rollbots, The Vector, and You

SAVED BY THE BELL BEGINS (PART 4/4)

SAVED BY THE BELL BEGINS (PART 3/4)

SAVED BY THE BELL BEGINS (PART 2/4)

SAVED BY THE BELL BEGINS (INTRO)

Next on Jon & Kate + 8

Lost, Jacob, Etc.

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