(This is not from my book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, but it’s kinda like it’s from my book, if my book were about Barack Obama.)
Barack Obama was now the most famous man on the planet, and he was feeling deeply troubled by it.
Looking out over the City of Washington DC, Barack couldn’t help but think that perhaps becoming President of These United States of America was a grave and terrible mistake.
Barack wasn’t even officially the President yet, and already he felt overwhelmed, what with spending an inordinate amount of time putting wreaths on things, and finding ways to say the same inspirational things over and over in different ways, and fighting mini-battles to retain possession of his Blackberri Tornado.
This last item troubled Barack Obama in no small way, and in this moment, Barack was fingering his frustration into said Blackberri.
Who he was fingering to was Barack’s greatest secret, and in reality, was the very reason he was now about to become President of These United States of America. The email that was fingered by Barack Obama went as follows:
from: Barry O
to: Airplane Brian
date: Mon, Jan 19, 2009 at 7:32 AM
subject: LAL-CLE wtf???
B – Now they’re telling me I can’t watch Lakers-Cavs tonight – I’ve got to go put some wreath on a grave or something. I thought I did this yesterday?! Any ideas? wtf???
B
PS – Almost done with your book – I like it but it’s hard to get done because they’re telling me I shouldn’t be seen reading something that’s this pretentious, epic, and stupid? wtf, right??
Who exactly “Airplane Brian” was, Barack Obama knew, would be the most difficult thing to conceal during his hoped-for eight years in office.
Truth be told, Airplane Brian was a young actor/writer who had, at one time, written Barack Obama’s favorite basketball blog. This, despite the young actor/writer’s fandom for a team that was not the same team that Barack Obama himself liked.
“Irony is a cruel adversary,” Barack said to himself, twice, and out loud, and then once backwards.
Regardless, some time back, Barack Obama had began a correspondence with the actor/writer via online internet email, for Barack felt that only this young man held the secret to Barack’s need to appeal to the youth of the country.
Airplane Brian had indeed proven invaluable, instructing Barack to use Twitter, and to profess his love for doing basketball playing, and to say things that people liked, and to not murder anyone and then talk about it afterward in public.
Barack planned, upon being inaugurated, to continue to implement Airplane Brian’s strategies, including, but not limited to, a daily, shirtless, Off-hours Weightlifting session on the front lawn of the White House.
And so now, in this moment, Barack Obama waited for a response from Airplane Brian, who was his secret advisor, and a young actor/writer, and more than anything, Airplane Brian was Barack’s greatest resource of advice and information about how to appeal to the youth.
Yes, Barack knew that Airplane Brian would find a way to ensure that he could watch Lakers-Cavs tonight, and for this reason, Barack Obama was not as deeply troubled as he was just moment ago. Furthermore, and etc.
Go put this in like other places: