BANNER FEB2010

From the category archives:

Politics

My Uncle Messes Up Again

by Brian on June 21, 2010

in Family,Google,Misc,Money,Politics

Well, you probably remember how my Uncle Bill Spaeth is always being forgetful with doing things in life because I write about that like every other post.

He did it again with these money guys who want to smelt aluminum and he’s dropping the ball on getting them their permission slips.

These business presidents bought that factory and every day he doesn’t let them smelt old cars it’s messed up for sure.

The June 9 letter was addressed to the City Council, Mayor Bob Burr, City Manager Brian Dissette and Zoning Administrator Bill Spaeth.

Spaeth is on vacation and was not available to comment on whether the smelting operation would be an allowed use under current zoning.

Way to go chief, this is like the time you didn’t mail my application to go on Here Comes the Bachelor in time to get to meet all those babes and go in hot tubs.

Now I’ll be alone forever and those smelting people are with me on how that one happened.

You have to let them smelt the aluminum or it’s messed up just like my life and how I’m not a famous TV stud.

Stop playing golfing.

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{ 4 comments }

On Health Care Reformcats

by Brian on March 22, 2010

in Doctors,LeBron James,Politics

Health Care ReformI did more Twitter action last night than I probably have in the past two weeks put together.

The whole health care reform reaction/discussion – which many people hashtagged with #hcr – was going crazy.

My thoughts were swirling around and I too had to get them out.

In lieu of many people’s hyperbolic statements about either freedom, America, history, or Communism, I had some of these thoughts.

I won’t know for sure how I feel about #hcr until Beyonce makes her statement.

@Streakerdude2 I didn’t even know this was going on until like an hour ago lol

Why do they bang that gavel lololol

Is Biden crying or tired – he’s the Vice President right?

It occurs to me that if the Cavs win it all & LeBron leaves, it’ll be a true Cleveland moment, wherein we can’t even enjoy our one title.

Does everyone get free thermometers lol

Also, that guy in the picture was in the background of the CNN broadcast I turned on.

He was either exhausted or drunk, but one thing I know is he’ll be my lasting impression of this Health Care Victory Crisis 2010.

That’s the one absolute certainty here, by the way – everyone must make absolute judgement on whether this works or not by NOON TODAY.

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UPDATE SAT 4/18: If you’re looking for Cavs/Lasers predictions and thoughts and such, they’ll be on my Twitter feed. “Cavs in 4, with no less than 7 Sheed technicals” sums it up.

To follow up on the whole Texas thing quick – this map is my solution for fixing the entire financial crisis.

1) Sell Montana to China for cash.

2) Agree to let Texas secede, but Trademark the name “Texas” before they do so, while forcing them to agree to my alternative supplied here, then sell the name Texas back to them for cash.

3) This isn’t totally crucial with all the cash we’ll have after steps one and two, but if we can also find a way to move Alaska and Hawaii to those locations shown on the map, I can’t help but think we’ll be a stronger nation.

The big news yesterday was actually this high-speed choo-choo train system Barack Obama wants to build with his own two hands.

If I were smart, I’d go do a find/replace and write myself Prelude to a Super Choo-Choo Train – the media could be all like, “Ooh, he’s so precious with his mind predicting abilities regarding technology and transportation in the near future…ooooh…ooohh…oooh…oo. Look at his muscular arms.”

Fast trains from the future are the way to go, especially if they make that bubble sound like a shuttle pod. Even if they don’t technically make that sound while running, I’d recommend putting in an external speaker system that broadcasts the sound.

It may sound dumb, but I’d be 75% more likely to ride these things if they did this.

Oprah is all about Twitter today – she’s making her first Tweet, after which she’ll hand the account over to a show intern, who will Tweet each day’s guests in a lawyer approved fashion.

Hopefully the show will cover the phenomenon of current and ex-basketball bloggers from Los Angeles interviewing girls from Orlando about the NBA.

The No-Look Pass did a lengthy piece with @alexiskn yesterday, and hit up @ColleenBurns today, who provides a link to a picture worth looking at for sure.

I have my piece with Colleen sitting here, but will probably save it for Monday, because I only ask her one thing about the NBA. Mainly I cover different scenarios in which we would watch Bad Boys II and hold hands.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

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{ 47 comments }

Tablet iPod Touch, eBooks, Apple

by Brian on February 28, 2009

in Apple,Misc,Money,Politics

(I got this conceptual picture from here.)

I don’t have too much to say about this, I just want to say something, because it opens up so many possibilities when it happens.

Basically – Apple entering the eBook market via a tablet-sized iPod Touch.

(That link actually goes to a story on how it would affect the comic book market, but it’s a general article.)

Anyway, while Amazon’s Kindle has been great and moderately popular with hardcore reader-types, it’s not had a mass affect yet.

The eBook is a tough market, because there’s really no standard format or anything. Right now, my book PTSA sells as a secured PDF doc, and who knows where it can and can’t work right if it’s not on a computer.

I’ve tried to do formatting for the Kindle, but it’s beyond my ability and I’ve got better things to spend my time on.

Apple would force a more general format, or at the very least make it easy to buy/sell/read, and like with music, gobble up and/or create the market share. (I think I mangled that sentence.)

Really, I think it just opens up a floodgate of possibilities, not only for books and comics, but for those dying newspapers, as well. More specifically, for investigative journalism.

I have a few reporter/newspaper friends, and they’re all living with a perpetual “is this the week I get fired” hanging over them. I suggested the following based on the mythical tablet iPod Touch:

Like [redacted] – look at it this way.

Let’s say you did one hardcore, in-depth investigative report every month. Like really tackled something heavy, that only you could/would do, but with a broad appeal/interest. It’s your story – like the kind where you’ve dug up stuff on Senators and loans or whatever.

Would 10,000 people pay a buck or 50 cents a month to subscribe to that? And remember – you’re marketing to the entire WORLD here. 10,000 people is nothing. (Or maybe you do two/month – I don’t know how long these things take.)

There are certainly enough political junkies out there who would have interest in that. You might see 10K people in DC alone.

In any case, that’s 120K a year, before taxes and Apple fees and such. Basically a personal newspaper of sorts – what’s missing right now is the distribution method, and if Apple supplies it, we’ll see something like this.

Plugging in your Touch and having all your content appear every morning in an organized (and mobile) fashion is much more appealing than sending money via Paypal, lugging your laptop around, logging in to a website, etc.

The thing is, people will pay for things like news online, if you make it easy and user-friendly. Apple would be a company that could do that.

Remember that the music industry was a mess before iTunes came in and blazed a more definitive path.

Yes, music is not in the best shape, but it’s a better time than ever to be a musician, because you don’t need to go through the whole “get signed to a label” process to make it.

It’s the big labels who are hurting most, because their old business model no longer works. The artists have more opportunity than ever, and that should be exciting to creative types.

Anyway, I know this was kind of rambling, but the sky doesn’t have to be falling just because the Rocky Mountain News shut down.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

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{ 41 comments }

The Who Shot Mamba? DVDs went out this morning. In honor of Happy Presidents Day on Monday, I may not post all weekend.

Bob (aka Tom) reminded me of how we used to bombard our fraternity president with declarations of “Happy Happy Presidents Day” pretty much until his nose started to bleed, back in the day.

Estimated time until the WSM? director emails me for picking an out-of-focus screen-grab he doesn’t like…13 minutes. Sorry – I wanted some vague League of Roundie Henchmen action:

Also, Happy Happy President’s Day to the secret war hero of olde, Peter Ovaire. I’ll be Twittering during All-Star stuff, I’d guess – especially HORSE, which I’m obligated to watch. Need to see if it’s really as bad as I imagine it can be.

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{ 46 comments }

(If you want to know about the picture above and the fantastic music video I’ve found, just skip to the bottom.)

My sports reading has been pulled way back in recent years, and now I’m going to need to cease popping in at my longtime favorite Cavaliers message board.

I just can’t read stuff like this anymore.

To those who do not believe in a conspiracy to disrespect LeBron and the Cavs unless and until he signs with NY, I have a bridge in Brooklyn that you may be interested in.

All this is fodder and ammunition for class action lawsuit(s) alleging collusion and RICO. How many times has the NBA taken away a triple double? How many teams with the (soon to be) best record have only one all star rep? Even after a player goes down to injury?

Besides the use of bridge cliches, there are multiple people there who believe that LeBron’s triple double was taken away last week for primarily two reasons:
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I think my new favorite person is Illinois (soon to be not) Governor Rob Blagojevich.

How he can skip his own trial thingie to make the talk show rounds, and during said talk show rounds say things like, “I thought about offering the Senate seat to Oprah” – I just think he’s a genius of some kind.

I’m locked on ABC all morning, because he’s going on The View, and while I’ll need to cut myself the entire time I watch, I’m thinking those ladies are going to tear into him pretty badly.

That said, my favorite thing he’s done was when he went jogging in the middle of a blizzard, simply because the media was outside his house. It was awesome – I’m sure there’s video somewhere.

He’s playing victim like never before, and there’s basically no way he doesn’t get a book deal at some point, so good for him.

Here’s a way to win a totally free copy of Prelude to a Super Airplane – simply email me, explaining in a brief paragraph, what’s happening in this screen shot from Who Shot Mamba?:

My favorite explanation gets a free book. (If you’re new, Who Shot Mamba? is a feature film I had a hand in that’s not out yet. You can see more about it here, including a short synopsis.)

Speaking of WSM?, I’m going to make about 20 preview copies available on DVD soon.

There will be several hardcore requirements to be eligible to acquire one, including, but not limited to, that you’re not crazy, and can verify who exactly you are in some manner. If you think you might want to be in on this, let me know via email.

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{ 43 comments }

Even though I’m a big-time poetry blogger now, I’ll still post all the blogger interviews I’ve done – they’re fun regardless of the fact that I’m not actively trying to re-integrate myself into that world.

Speaking of “that world” – Matt Watson over at DBB reminded that I was a part of Pajamas Media via YAYsports!, and that this one time I volunteered myself for some panel discussion on the UN and foreign policy or something.

This was the only evidence I could find of that.

Okay, it looks like there were three participants, one moderator, and I have no idea what YAYSports was doing in there. Does Pajamas Media have a clue as to our areas of expertise or fields of study?

AS I WROTE THIS, Matt found it. Looks like I actually tried to contribute for a little while, but then this happened:

#34 YAYsports! Dec 6, 2005 02:20 PM
What do you guys think Kofi Puffs would taste like? I’m guessing kind of “oat-ish”, with a little “cinnamon-ness”.

#45 YAYsports! Dec 6, 2005 02:26 PM
Steve doesn’t like me. sad face —————> :(

#90 YAYsports! Dec 6, 2005 02:59 PM
I’m sorry.

Semi-related, because I’ve been asked – I am not going to unload on the sports blogosphere in any way, shape, or form. I’m not even down on sports blogs – it was just a misguided idea to try and re-connect.

I also won’t abandon Triangle Basketball Attack Game – I’m waiting for some serious analysis from a couple people I sent it too. You can certainly help by spreading word on your own site, if you have one. The healthiest thing for it is if people talk about it.

Anyway, the new comment system isn’t locked in stone or anything, but it’s supposed to have a lot of great functions, and doesn’t seem to be too otherworldly different? No idea if it will stay or go – I welcome and encourage your input.

Okay, so let’s talk Cavs-Blazers-Lost tonight. I say they win, and the island wins – discuss. Also, I’ve gotten my first book review from like a legitimate literary person – one who doesn’t know me at all.

Very excited – will post it tomorrow.

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{ 51 comments }

(This is not from my book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, but it’s kinda like it’s from my book, if my book were about Barack Obama.)

Barack Obama was now the most famous man on the planet, and he was feeling deeply troubled by it.

Looking out over the City of Washington DC, Barack couldn’t help but think that perhaps becoming President of These United States of America was a grave and terrible mistake.

Barack wasn’t even officially the President yet, and already he felt overwhelmed, what with spending an inordinate amount of time putting wreaths on things, and finding ways to say the same inspirational things over and over in different ways, and fighting mini-battles to retain possession of his Blackberri Tornado.

This last item troubled Barack Obama in no small way, and in this moment, Barack was fingering his frustration into said Blackberri.

Who he was fingering to was Barack’s greatest secret, and in reality, was the very reason he was now about to become President of These United States of America. The email that was fingered by Barack Obama went as follows:

from: Barry O
to: Airplane Brian
date: Mon, Jan 19, 2009 at 7:32 AM
subject: LAL-CLE wtf???

B – Now they’re telling me I can’t watch Lakers-Cavs tonight – I’ve got to go put some wreath on a grave or something. I thought I did this yesterday?! Any ideas? wtf???

B

PS – Almost done with your book – I like it but it’s hard to get done because they’re telling me I shouldn’t be seen reading something that’s this pretentious, epic, and stupid? wtf, right??

Who exactly “Airplane Brian” was, Barack Obama knew, would be the most difficult thing to conceal during his hoped-for eight years in office.

Truth be told, Airplane Brian was a young actor/writer who had, at one time, written Barack Obama’s favorite basketball blog. This, despite the young actor/writer’s fandom for a team that was not the same team that Barack Obama himself liked.

“Irony is a cruel adversary,” Barack said to himself, twice, and out loud, and then once backwards.

Regardless, some time back, Barack Obama had began a correspondence with the actor/writer via online internet email, for Barack felt that only this young man held the secret to Barack’s need to appeal to the youth of the country.

Airplane Brian had indeed proven invaluable, instructing Barack to use Twitter, and to profess his love for doing basketball playing, and to say things that people liked, and to not murder anyone and then talk about it afterward in public.

Barack planned, upon being inaugurated, to continue to implement Airplane Brian’s strategies, including, but not limited to, a daily, shirtless, Off-hours Weightlifting session on the front lawn of the White House.

And so now, in this moment, Barack Obama waited for a response from Airplane Brian, who was his secret advisor, and a young actor/writer, and more than anything, Airplane Brian was Barack’s greatest resource of advice and information about how to appeal to the youth.

Yes, Barack knew that Airplane Brian would find a way to ensure that he could watch Lakers-Cavs tonight, and for this reason, Barack Obama was not as deeply troubled as he was just moment ago. Furthermore, and etc.

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{ 0 comments }

(The following is an excerpt from my book, Prelude to a Super Airplane. It can be purchased by clicking on any of the roughly 400 banners adorning this site, or by clicking here. It’s also available on Amazon.

I’ve posted the first 20 chapters (roughly 55 pages of PTSA) on this site. Links to each of those are at the end of this post, or you can download all of them as a pdf by clicking here.

Somehow Senator Joseph Piperbraum had never been in this particular airplane station goods shop before, despite his many important Senatoring travels.

That’s what made his purchase of items at the airplane station goods shop so exciting. It was exciting because it was new. His arms were bursting with a variety of items – some he needed, some not as much, and some he had no use for at all.

Senator Piperbraum brought his mother on this trip, and she noted that the prices here in this airplane station goods shop were higher than in other goods shops, such as the regular one, near her home in a suburb just outside of Akron, Ohio.

“Mother, please,” he had a way of chiding her that was both loving and warm. “I’m a United States Senator now.”
[Like here is how to read the rest.]

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