Okay, so this is my first post from the WordPress app on the Google Nexus One Excitement Phone, so bear with me.

I’ve been meaning to try this for awhile but only now got around to it.

That last sentence seemed awkward.

So did that one.

It’s kinda hard to write like this – everything feels like it should be Tweet-length from the phone, plus my hands hurt from playing Home Run Battle 3-D all night on this.

Cavs in 5 – that pic is a tease at the shoulder tattoo fix.

(If you don’t follow the NBA pretty closely, you probably need not bother with this post.

To make it relatable to all, I’d have to do a lot of explaining.)

I’ve been reading a lot about how offended everyone is about Cleveland being allowed to re-sign Z in what was clearly an unspoken understanding about the Jamison trade.

“Look, we have a chance to pick up Jamison for nothing if we pretend we don’t want you anymore and you take a 30-day vacation. Good? Good.”

It was likely never said outside the Danny Ferry Excitement Bunker, but everyone “got it”.

The great lengths the team has gone to removing Z’s image from the arena, and how Z’s agent is pretending to romance other teams – it’s all funny, at least to a Cleveland fan like myself.

What’s odd is how aghast people are about this now, when it’s been going on for years.

Now, we all know what the aghastedness is about: anything that helps Cleveland win the title brings LeBron one step closer to staying, which means the national media won’t have anything to write about.

Even my unbiased side doesn’t think he’s leaving anyway, and certainly not for the Knicks – historically, how many league MVPs have left one of the best teams in the NBA for one of the worst, and taken less money to do so?

If people would stop hoping for the sensational story and start looking at the facts, it might help. Don’t forget, he could’ve left three years ago if he’d wanted to.

In any case, the point of this post is that nobody is talking about this: what Cleveland is doing is an amazingly great example of something.

Here you’ve got a small-market team, in a city that’s shrinking and losing jobs, in a lousy economy…gaming the system.

Isn’t that what everyone complains that the Red Sox and Yankees and Knicks do? Just spend money rampantly and buy a winner? (Well, the Knicks don’t actually accomplish that, but you get the point.)

Yes, having LeBron is a variable that won’t fit in anyone else’s potential template, but the little team from Cleveland becoming the economic bully of the NBA is point that should be celebrated in some fashion, not criticized.

Talk all you want about the system being broken – I’d say the people running the teams (GMs/Owners) are simply bad at their jobs in many cases.

This is about more than just a few robbery trades – Gilbert has built a first class organization, and Danny Ferry has done a fantastic job.

Remember when he played hardball with Varajao, refusing to overpay for him? How many other GMs would’ve just ponied up $10M/year for six years without thinking about it?

Call it hometown pride, but that’s the good story nobody’s taking from this. Smart owner willing to spend, smart GM willing to make tough/smart deals, build yourself a winner.

Even outside THE NEW YORK CITY.

OMG ALICIA KEYS SING YOUR FAUX-FANCY SONG.

Some Wyoming trivia/realizations based on this screengrab from an ESPN.com poll:

1) They don’t care much about the NBA.

2) If you’d asked me before looking at this where Wyoming was, I don’t think I could’ve pointed it out without using process of elimination.

3) I can’t name one city in Wyoming.

4) I’ve not known anyone who has lived in, visited, driven through, knew about, or thought about Wyoming.

5) Looking at this map – and I don’t know if I’m just outside my own head right now or what – it just doesn’t feel like Wyoming is a real state.

This isn’t meant as an assault on this fictional place or the two people who pretend to live there – these are real thoughts I had while waiting for this Stoudemire-to-Cavs trade to happen.

(I blatantly re-purposed this Photoshop job from my old website, sorry.)

I know it’s like the “blog thing to do” to bash ESPN’s Bill Simmons, and I don’t come here to do that today expressly.

Say what you will about him, but I’ve come to quite like his podcast – he has interesting guests and there’s an enthusiasm and casualness to it I like.

He’s also fairly aware he maybe needs to step back from the NBA trade machine a bit – he freely admits his craziest trade suggestions are indeed crazy at times.

However, on his show with JA Adande the other day, he was totally serious (it seemed) in his opinion that the best basketball situations for LeBron to go to are Chicago and the LA Clippers.

Not only that, but he completely discounted the Cavs as anything more than a remote possibility.

Now, while I’m a Cleveland fan to the end, I’m freely willing to admit LeBron may leave, and that he’ll certainly visit every single team in the NBA on his free agent tour this summer.

Looking purely at it from a basketball standpoint though…let’s look at the Cavs.

- Best record in the NBA
- Built-in chemistry/continuity
- Defensive-minded coach
- Brand-new practice facility
- Big expiring contracts
- One of the few teams that are profitable
- Owner willing to spend whatever it takes

You could go down the list with both Chicago and LAC, and they’re the opposite of what the Cavs have in many cases.

LeBron’s gonna go play for Mike Dunleavey on the most cursed, cheap, and poorly run organization in sports? I can’t even see how that’s a rational argument at all, basing it purely on basketball.

And Chicago? Does LeBron really want his legacy to be having every single thing ever written about him forever be even more of a comparison to Michael Jordan?

Even adding in marketing, he’s fine in Cleveland.

With the new McDonald’s deal, he’s got all the big sponsor segments except a car company.

He’s got a TV show in development. He’s had a feature documentary out. He has a deal to star in LeBron’s Fantasy Basketball Camp Begins.

Look, he’s conquered America, and this doesn’t even take into account that Cleveland is close to home, the Cavs can pay him the most money, and also have a minority owner from China, which is actually a bigger market than LA and NYC. (!!!)

In conclusion, I’m sure this has been written 50 times elsewhere already, but I didn’t even know Stephon Marbury was playing in China, so there you go.

(WSM? ends tonight – if you missed the first half of the big Sherman-Stadiums showdown…here. Aw, lookit Petey Skippen getting his chance to shine!)

If you haven’t yet watched Chapter 7 of Who Shot Mamba? you might want to do so – what follows will be filled with spoilers, because this segment is LOADED with revelations.

Do it, then join me below.

(If you haven’t watched Chapters 1-6, you have some homework to do, friend.)

Again…spoilers follow…

So Calvin Stadiums is the instigator of the shooting of Mamba, and continues to threaten people with guns.

If you haven’t quite put the pieces together, Calvin Stadiums is 90% based on Wizards star and gun enthusiast Gilbert Arenas…and this was written well over two years ago – long before he was suspended by the NBA for his firearm incident.

Calvin is so much a Gilbert avatar that a couple years back we were in discussions with Arenas’s people about him playing the character. We were told “yes” at one point and put the entire production on hold to wait…and wait…and wait.

Dylan Mooney came in and owned the role in a way that made for a better movie anyway, but we hold that Gil has The Curse of the Mamba hovering over him.

You laugh, but guess who was very close to playing Sherpa (from Chapter 1) and then decided against it?

Yep…Greg Oden.

In any case, while writing WSM?, just how much Gilbert was there inserted into Calvin? Here’s the breakdown of the basketball-based aspects of the character:

GILBERT ARENAS
- Obvious play on the name
- Uniform number
- Agent Zero/Henchmen Zero
- Aloof and Quirky
- Obsessed with Orange Roundie
- Unique father-son relationship
- Big Tiger as symbol of sorts
- Washington, DC
- Gunplay (unintentional)

MICHAEL JORDAN
- Greatest ever
- Gambling problem
- Competitive arrogance
- Petey Skippen sidekick

KOBE BRYANT
- the complete lack of self-awareness the younger Kobe had

The biggest Calvin-Gilbert-gun similarity of all is something I can’t talk about until the movie is over, but it was what struck me most heavily when the Arenas/gun stuff started, because it was something I had decided on years ago.

Keep watching – and there’s much more about the transition from Arenas-to-Stadiums right here.

I was gonna make a big deal about like doing a big redesign on the site for 2010, but realized I like the thing how it is. All I did was move the links for my books up a notch and add a page about the Radby book.

Brad says he’s been getting all this email asking “wtf” about whether he’s a real person or a fake person or a cartoon person, so I felt a need to clarify things.

The big news for 2010 is that I’ve found myself kinda into the NBA again. The Cavaliers are quietly playing quite well after a bumpy start, and there just seems to be lots of interesting things going on.

I get intrigued by things like Tracy McGrady having his sadness again and Gilbert Arenas being unable to shake the Curse of the Mamba.

In any case…some IM action, in lieu of actual content.

Brian: Why are you awake
Girl: Lol…sorry.
Brian: : /
Girl: : /
Brian: Have you ever had the cereal Blue Crunchos
Girl: I have noto. Is it tasty
Brian: Yeah and even crunchier than it sounds
Girl: Oh wow
Brian: Yeah
Girl: Cool well I’m glad we talked about that brian
Brian: Me too
Girl: Bye
Brian: Can I put this on my blog it is making me laugh

Also I’ve eaten two full boxes of Cold-Eeze in the past 48 hours.

Who Shot Mamba? Chapter 6 sometime tonight – keep an eye on the FB Page.

(Yes, I’m excited about the Google Phone. Rumored January release and supported by T-Mobile for once.

Also, Calvin Stadiums has been blogging over at Yardbarker for a couple weeks now, and look for some Who Shot Mamba? blooper reels on the Facebook Page this week.)

Some years back my mom started sending those “here’s what everyone is up to” letters with her Merry Christmas cards.

I immediately insisted on control over any part of the content that referenced me, so each December I submit my own section for her to include.

(My brother does this too – perhaps he can post the 2009 edition, as his are excellent.)

Alas, this is what I sent her over the weekend.

I’m still writing and acting and producing and trying to get new projects together.

I’ve never touched a guitar before. Also, I stopped using question marks this year for awhile. Isn’t that weird.

Oops! Lost my car keys again! LOL

Do you use gmail?

Your pal,
Brian Spaeth

P.S. My sole goal in writing this was to have my mother say something like, “I am not sending this!” and I guarantee she did exactly that after I emailed it to her.

Sent via my Blackberri Tornado II From T-Marbles
Movie – www.whoshotmamba.com
Twitter – www.twitter.com/brianspaeth
Facebook – www.facebook.com/brianspaeth
Website – www.brian23.com

P.P.S. Mom, make sure to include these links, cause like that’s part of the joke for this section of the letter.

P.P.P.S Also include all of these PS’s – including this one. These are also part of the joke.

P.P.P.P.S. Sorry for not taking your Merry Christmas Letter 2010 seriously. :(

I have to admit, I can’t see a day where I ever send Christmas cards or letters of any kind myself.

Like I get them from friends of mine who are married already, and I’m always thinking, “Why did you send me this and why is it signed The Jones Family? I don’t know what one of those is – why don’t you just email or call me? Yeah, I know I don’t answer my phone ever, but why did you get married?”

Do you or your family send these type of Christmas letters? Do you send Christmas cards? Do you believe in Merry Christmas Trees and why.

(Obviously these covers were done long before the Celtics won that NBA title thingy.

That statement on the mag is a parody of times long past, so don’t get all ca-razee.)

Tomorrow’s Chapter 3 of Who Shot Mamba? sees the in-story debut of Calvin Stadiums, what one might call the film’s “unofficial adaptation of Gilbert Arenas”.

If you’ve read Prelude to a Who Shot Mamba?, you know that we actually pursued Gilbert to play Calvin, which ultimately didn’t happen.

I’ve felt this was for the better – Dylan Mooney is amazing as Calvin, and it really makes the character much more the property of the film.

Now, before settling on Calvin, some other fictionalized versions of past and present players were considered.

Mock artwork and domain names were even registered for many of the following, just in case.

Jeffery Michaels
Henry Ruffers (See his DUNK cover by clicking here.)
Kody O’Bryan
LeFrank Jones
TJ Potato
Nick Dirkowski
Lance Marker
Mason Lipp

Can you guess who they are? Feel free to offer up some of your own, as well.

Here’s my big problem with the 2009-10 NBA season – why didn’t LeBron’s people get on Sports Illustrated about how they picked an image that made him look kinda wimpy for their cover issue.

I bought both these mags, but haven’t cracked either one – probably won’t. That’s okay – it’s the thought that counts, plus it’s Cavs over Lakers in the Finals, provided Shaq can stay healthy and Delonte West isn’t locked up somewhere.

I feel so confident in this prediction that I’ll even admit I accidentally typed “Lakers over Cavs” in the previous sentence before I caught myself.

Also, not to bring up old wounds, but can we finally all agree that Joe Dumars isn’t that great of a GM. @iamboney confirmed that the big-money Detroit free agents are coming off the bench.

Anyone could’ve told Joe – and many people did – that those guys are perfect 4th scoring options on a good team.

Now to the important stuff, and in conclusion – here’s some IM action from lasterday. “Girl” is totally her real name, as well.

Brian: Ilu
Girl: Ok omg. Ilu2. Byeee
Brian: Lol
Girl: Don’t laugh at meee
Brian: : /
Girl: Ughhh
Girl: A-hole
Brian: Thx ttyl
Girl: I threw up lol
Brian: Lol can I put part of this on my blog if I don’t say it’s you lolol

NBA NBA NBA NBA NBA

How ready are you on a scale of 1-10. Also, what are your most profound, personal, and/or private NBA predictions.

It’s been a long, hard battle, and many of you old-school readers have won – I have begun my blog tour in support of WSM?, and that means I wrote about the NBA over at The Association.

As the proprietors have told me, it’s all but abandoned, which means it’s the perfect for getting re-established mentally with this post about using Allen Iverson Empathy to pick up girls.

An excerpt:

is because

If you’ve got a blog – sports or not – and want some guest-post action, my plan is to go somewhere different every single day for the rest of the calendar year. Weekends excluded.

I’d be honored if you’d host me for a day and maybe let me plug my movie at the end of the post, and through the rest of the post, and via any Photoshop work I may include in the post.

Just let me know – right now, the schedule is booked about two weeks out, so it’s really exciting and tumultuous, because of all the basketball writing I have get to do. If you have a blog that’s not about basketball, please yell it at me.

Oh, and the first teaser for Who Shot Mamba? went up this morning right here at the Facebook Page. Check it out and let me know what you think. (Everyone can see it – Facebook member or not.)

I’m pretty excited, because I think this is the first time in the history of this movie something happened when I said it would.

LOL!!

What.

Do you think corn is a food for boys or a food for girls. Also, what other foods belong to one sex or the other.

(Also, big big precious to @dustinpearlman and @DJCoe for the work they did on this teaser. Dustin (who directed WSM?) edited it, and Dan (who scored the film) did the music.

Thanks also to @BrettEP for letting me infect The Association with my words.)

(If you’re bored, feel free to check out the Facebook Page for my new company I run with @kristinbrennan, Vacation Apples Because of America, LLC.)

I was doing Twitter at my girlfriend @AliWilson, and this is what happened. Keep in mind, this is actually a few weeks old.

he was with Aniston and they were at my stand about to buy something idk. and then i started calling him CHANDLER BING and he got mad and said something totally chandler like and then went off and started sulking in the corner. blue shirt, khakis!

Even two weeks later and lacking any context, this makes perfect sense to me.

That’s what it means when you can form a deep connection with someone like an Ali Wilson.

In other news, you know I’m gearing up to release this Who Shot Mamba? movie on October 13.

Here’s my problem: I hate self-promo.

Like, I love to talk about myself, but I hate being like anything within 86 miles of a “huckster” – outdated term, but you get the idea. Obviously, it’s gotta be done. I believe in the movie we’ve made, so it’s not like I don’t feel justified in saying, “Go check this out to people.”

As I do in all promotional efforts, I try to give it actual entertainment value, and part of my personal push will be guest-posting…in the NBA/sports blogosphere. Yes, it’s happening.

Just check out how excited/horrified Rey-Rey over at The No Look Pass is:

Brian Spaeth September 2 at 1:26pm
I want to guest blog on your blog. Please advise.

Rey Moralde September 2 at 1:35pm
What did you have in mind, sir?

Brian Spaeth September 2 at 1:44pm
I don’t know – can’t I just have free reign lol.

Rey Moralde September 2 at 1:50pm
How about this? As LONG as there’s SOMETHING about the NBA. Just SOMETHING. Hell, you can even promote WSM? on the blog. We were thinking about having guest bloggers once a week, anyway. Ha ha.

Brian Spaeth September 2 at 12:29pm
lol can I use this in a blog post announcing my guest posting -

The best part is I didn’t even wait for his answer – I just did it.

The plan – and I can’t believe I’m saying this – is to hit up a different blog every single weekday between next Tuesday and the end of the WSM? run in January.

Am I wrong to be hating on self-promo, or what. Do you think I can write this much about sports again without going insane.

(One last favor…hook up my friend Brian by voting for this for him – all you have to do is sign in with your Facebook ID and then click “Put on Wishlist”. It would mean a lot if you can help out – thanks!)

This is easily the most pretentiously awesome thing I’ve ever done – please take it as it’s intended, i.e. as pretentiously awesome.

So like sorry I haven’t been around this week, but I have been really active in my social networks, so it’s not like I’m absent.

It’s interesting – like we’re in the process of building the WSM? website, but the Facebook Page is also in existence, and has everything one could want from your own page – easy to create photo galleries, video upload, message board, and more.

On top of that – and of most importance, really – the people are already there, and spreading word is as easy as one click for them. I mean, obviously you need a homepage, but does it really matter if anyone watches it there or somewhere else. I don’t think so.

I dunno – just something to think about wrt all this changing stuff de la 2009. What’s the most pretentiously awesome thing you’ve ever done on a computer.

(@alexiskn wins the contest I made up two seconds ago and didn’t tell anyone about.)

I’m writing what you’ve asked me to write about. Here it begins.

From @NDEddieMac:
1) Skree?

Skree, if you’re not aware, is the sound that Chris Bosh used to make on my old website.

From here forward, it’s related to my open offer to one NBA player rep to use the following idea on one (and only one) of your players next season:

1) Whenever this player comes out of the game, the trainer should hand him a plate of sliced cantaloupe. He eats it. This happens every time he hits the bench, including timeouts, when maybe he just takes one slice.

2) When reporters start asking him why he does this, he’s to say, “Cause it’s good?” in a matter-of-fact manner.

3) Once per month, when the trainer tries to give him the cantaloupe, he should cross his arms and pout.

This could take like a Charlie Villanueva or a Rudy Gay – good players who have been somewhat low-profile – up a big notch publicity-wise.

The bloggers would love it, and it’s healthy, which means teams can run cantaloupe-based promos for kids. Whoever owns the trademark on cantaloupe would pay big money!

Because of their quirky cantaloupe eating habit, the player’s new nickname would be DJ Skree.

What do you think? Do you still wear a watch? What do you think Alexis Kay En is looking at in that picture? Is that her Jedi name omg.

(Don’t forget to enter the big coloring contest – it’s your chance to win the world’s only two $15 bills.)

(Quick note – I’m trying out Google Docs for writing the WSM? guidebook, and I have to say I’m loving it so far. If you read about the new Google OS that’s coming to crush Windows, you know why I’m experimenting with the transfer over.)

As I well know from my old site, there comes a time in the life of any blog when the readership backlash begins.

That sweet, sweet moment – and sometimes it’s also sweet – when this kind of comment arrives.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve outgrown this site. I don’t feel apart of the target audience (twitter) anymore. I feel as though 25 percent of the topics are things I am interested in and the rest is “blah”. I say this because I was pro-spaeth for the longest while now I feel indifferent. Nothing feels very organic, “follow me on twitter”, “buy my book”, etc. I don’t say this to inspire negativity, I say this out of concern. I’m not in the demographic anymore. I’m a boat without oars and the tide continued to a point where I now find myself adrift.

I’d suggest you subscribe to my Twitter feed – there’s like an RSS for it and everything. It’s where my hilarious comes out like oars on a boat – perhaps these are the oars you so desire? Sometimes I even talk about the NBA again, which is what you really crave, isn’t it?

Now…I did say awhile ago that I was really enjoying the direct interaction I get on Twitter, as opposed to the “I say something, and then you react” that I get here. Not that there isn’t a time for that or that I don’t appreciate it, but let’s face it, a lot of the garbage that happens in my brain doesn’t need a full post.

For example, this could’ve been summed up as, “I’ma write whatever I want unless you give me 10 (non-NBA) topics you want me to write about. Name them – those are my next ten posts. PG-13 only. smh”

For real – tell me exactly what you want me to write about and I’ll do it. If you’re still unhappy you have nobody to blame me, and then yourself after that, and maybe me again. That last one is just because of special effects, though.

So since my surgery I haven’t been allowed to lift at all. Like, I’m not supposed to strain my face.

As such, I’m starting to get brain-slow and feel weak and soft and depressed. I can take walks, but there’s teen angst boiling up inside.

BOIL! BOIL! BOIL AND A BUBBLE! TROUBLE BUBBLE!!!

I’m allowed to hit the gym in a condensed and cautious manner a week from today – let’s hope I make it that long. And really, Calvin Stadiums is so very worthy of your attention on Facebook – this week, he’s chronicling his 2005 World Record Hot Air Balloon Ride.

I wasn’t nearly as close as it looked, but later we did get closer and I dropped the camera in the volcano to see what would happen. Since the camera melted, I could get a picture of that. Plus, a camera can’t take a picture of itself anyway. When we stopped for more fire for the balloon, I bought another camera.

Oh, also – I’ve made friends with this girl @RCAstyle on Twitter, and periodically ask her to do little artistic set-ups at her office for me. It’s pretty fun:

That one was “Write CHUCK D FOREVER on a piece of paper, and then put it on your desk next to an upside-down stapler.” The underlining was a bit of improv that I feel really improved the piece.

(Follow me on Twitter here. And follow the stupendous @alexiskn also!)

(Joe, you win the free copy of Prelude to a Super Airplane from the other day for your awesome picture shown to the right.

Shoot me your address and I’ll get it out to you Mon or Tues. Thanks again for the pic – it made me do laughing.)

I’ll admit it – I’ve been sitting on this post for awhile. Perhaps to publish on a day when it’s an almost-holiday, or my mind is just tired from surgery, and jokes/thoughts (Nay, and as such, “joughts”. Tempest.) are not free-flowing.

Anyway, the following are things one of my toddler-aged nieces said. These were spouted right in a row, in about a minute and a half, and they’d all make great titles for deep and/or quirky independent films.

There Is A Ball in the Car
I’m Swording Myself
Fishing Pole Okay
Mickey Doesn’t Want to Wear a Shirt
Throwing In the Secret Garden
Doors Close Forever
I Did It With My Bat
You Know What a Bat is For
Take Home the Ball
It is Not Tired
Here’s My Socks and Shoes
Let’s Look Out the Window
Take Me Outside First

Any joughts?

You have any good indie film titles you can throw back at me?

(Follow me on Twitter here, and befriend Calvin Stadiums on Facebook – I figured out how to use his page. Those of you who miss NBA Photoshops will be pleased.)

(WHO SHOT MAMBA? is a full-length feature film I’m heavily involved with – click here for more info on this site, and here for the IMDB page.)

So WSM? is coming online in the fall – 10/13 to be exact…unless that gets bumped to 11/10, which I’m hoping it does. In either case, it’ll be split (very organically, because it was made to be) into 9 parts.

The company we’ve licensed it to will be doing all their various promo and press stuff, but I want to do everything I can to help. As you can well-on guess, social networking will play a big part in that.

Anyway, I’m gonna lay out my plan as I see it today – the things I’ll be spending time on to build a large network/platform. Then we have all kinds of fun things happen over the course of the run that generates talk, links, etc – ultimately leading people to the film.

What’s outlined below is the construction of said network.

WSM? BLOG
There will be a blog for WSM?, and I’m 99% sure it’ll be just be redirected to this one. There’s no doubt I’d write it if it was on the WSM? site, and also little doubt I’ll be writing about WSM? here when it comes out. I see little use in splitting my efforts, unless someone else from the production came on to write the WSM? blog, which I don’t see happening, because I’m a control freak. Something may strike me yet.

PRELUDE TO A MAMBA: How to Destroy Your NBA Blog by Turning it into a Movie
This is an e-book I’m working on that gathers all the pertinent source material from YAYsports! NBA, and explains how it worked its way into, or out of, the movie itself. Think of it almost like one of those “art of…” books they do, along with a loose narrative of how the movie helped destroy the blog.

This will be super-fun for fans of the old site, and also super-fun for people who have never heard of the old site. For nobody will it not be super-fun.

MYSPACE
I’m gonna have to do a page for WSM?. I hate MySpace, and I know it’s shrinking, but it’s still a major force, especially in the video world – plus it skews young/teen, which WSM? does, also. To me, this one is just a numbers game anymore, so it is what it is.

FACEBOOK
Facebook is in the midst of a major overhaul into Twitter 2, so this is somewhat up in the air until I see how it lives and breathes over the next few weeks. My thoughts as of today: over the couple years I’ve been there, I’ve joined Fan Pages for a bunch of stuff, and never did anything with any of them. (Except that time I posted on the “Drywall Fans” board.)

My best guess is there’s a page for the film, via Calvin Stadiums, a pro basketball player character from the film. There will be some ongoing exclusive content involved to encourage joining/following. Again, I need to see how Facebook shakes itself out here. Here is a Calvin Stadiums commercial that was made as part of the movie:

TWITTER
Here’s a rundown of all possibilities:

@brianspaeth – This is my feed, and obviously it’s probably the best one for promoting the movie once it’s time to do that. That said, I don’t want to turn into a spam fountain, because it’s a crappy thing to do to your friends/network. My feed is my personality, and I enjoy using it how I do now, which is primarily to talk to people about “whatever”.

This leaves a few other options – feeds for characters from the movie. I don’t particularly like when films do this, and like it’s the actor’s picture, but you know it’s some intern. Since WSM? has some eclectically cartoonish characters, I’m toying with these at the moment:

@OrangeRoundie – “Careful…everyone on Earth…carrrrrrefullll…” After playing with this for a few days, I think he may just follow @NBA and @DwightHoward and harass them to no end regarding his one-way rivalry with David Stern.

@Inflatable Ben – “Girl, you know Ben wanna hug-n-kiss you…oh yeah!” Ben would just hit on every booty babe he sees, with that touch of charming innocence he does so well.

As long as the accounts provide actual entertainment value and aren’t spam machines, then they’re worth doing. I also have @whoshotmamba, but unless I can find an actual person who wants to run it as a person, then I can’t see using it. I just don’t believe in the “gather maximum followers and spam all day” theory for Twitter.

In support/conjunction with these efforts will be 2 Teaser Trailers, 1 Full Trailer, 3 Scene Clips, and the 3 Calvin Stadiums commercials. There’s also the release of the WSM? score, and the two original songs, The Crepes are in the Oven and Girl, You So Pretty.

So…there’s plenty to have fun with and promo through these channels. I’d love to know your thoughts – from a “selling a film” context, the angle of social media use, and from those of you who have seen the movie and know the source material well.

If any of you social media fiends think you’d want to get involved, there are rewards/perks/credits we can surely work out. I’d love to have some Official Roundie Henchmen out there as ambassadors. Thanks for any feedback or thoughts/suggestions you may have -

(You can find out more info about Who Shot Mamba? on IMDB.)

UPDATE: I’m in surgery Friday morning, so there will likely be no post. While I’m gone, please give me your best @jerryricetwo impression about anything.

(My Shaq-to-Cavs thoughts are the first comment.)

My favorite person on Twitter, @jerryricetwo, went and saw Transformers 2 what seems to be at least 14 times yesterday, and I’ve reprinted some of his his Tweets/thoughts here.

@anguaa I BEEN AT GOBOTS 2 ALL DAY!!! LOL!!! mah tummy hurt from all dese popcorns

SHIA GO TO BOOTY COLLEGE!! LOL!!! DAT BOOTY GOBOT DOPE!!!! wanna do kissin on dat gobot

THEM GHETTO GOBOTS TRANFORM INTO BABY DADDIES?!?! WHAAAAAAAAATTT???? goin see dis again

@CraigSharp GOBOTS 2 DA BOMB!!!! LOL!!! word up bro

@cjrider HEY BRO WHERE DAT DELETED SCENE WHERE GHETTO BOTS PLAY HOOPS?!?! LOL!!! on blueray word up

@trilby_dare YO YOU WANT TO GO ON DAT KISSING DATE WIT ME

LOL!!!! brb

DEM GHETTO-BOTS DA BOOOOOMB!!! DONT GIVE DEM NO BOOKS!!! LOL!!!

KING KONG AINT GOT NOTHIN ON OPTIMUS!!!! LOL!!!! go shia get dat booty babe omg lookit DAT BOOTY smh

@cascandar YO YOU WANT TO GO ON A ICE CREAM DATE WIT ME

OMG NOW SHIA AND BOOTY BABE IN TROUBLE – GOBOTS IS MAAAAAD!!!! move yo bootys!!!! LOL!!! best movie

NOW MORE GOBOTS?!?!? LIKE FIDDY GOBOTS IN DIS MOVIE!!!!! LOL!!! denzel lovin it too

@cascandar GIMME DAT SLUSHIE IN A CUP!!! LOL!!!

SHIA LOOK OUT LOL!!!!! omg more gobots comin?????? LOL!!!!!

@19jms CHAD AINT GOT NOTHIN ON SHIA AND DEM GOBOTS!!! dis da best movie wtf

@alexiskn GIRL DIS MOVIE SOO GOOD!!! ALL DEM GOBOTS GOIN CRAZY ON DIS BOOTY BABE!!!! LOL!!! goin get mo popcorns brb

SHIA LIKE DAAAAM GOBOTS I GOIN TO CLASS NOW STEP OFF!! LOL!!! so good

@DrewGooden YO WHERE DAT MOHAWK GO??!? GIMME BACK MAH CELLY!!! missin yo birfday

I like everything he says here, although I have no idea if I agree with any of it with regard to the movie. There were lots of attractive girls at Shia’s college – that’s like so true.

Did you see Transformers 2? What do you think about Shaq-to-Cavs? Would you go on an “ice cream date” with me if asked?

(Do a nice thing for yourself and check out the first 55 pages of my book, Prelude to a Super Airplane for free by clicking here. WORD UP.)
(Follow me on Twitter here.)

(If any of you were wondering, this was Allef’s final act of the season.)

Say what you want about the Cavs – you gotta remember that after LeBron’s mailed-in 2007 season, I don’t live-and-die by professional basketball anymore.

Last night was somewhat circular, since it looked like a game right out of LeBron’s 2007 season. “wtf” sums up my thoughts.

Other than the new puppet commercial with the kid from downstairs, this is the best thing to happen all night, and I said it.

I just saw an NBA headline that said “Tracy McGrady has surgery on whole body”.
about 9 hours ago from web

Congrats to the Orlando contingent of @alexiskn, @ColleenBurns, and @jabberjim.

If one or all of you can manage to get Shaq’s nickname back for him, that’d be great. Dwight’s a good guy, but he’s young – I don’t think he understands what he’s done here.

I actually cringe when they play the theme during the game. This is becoming a major blemish on some otherwise impossibly rounded shoulders.

Final note on the season – @ColleenBurns won the contest, because she sent me pictures AND called me after the game.

That’s how you get that trophy!

@alexiskn came in second because she’s a cute girl, and @jabberjim was disqualified because he’s a dude. There are no prizes for anyone.

Word up – let’s hear it for Dwight and LeBron rooming together at big man’s camp this summer. I’m available for jump-hook consults.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here – it’s available in paperback, or iPhone/Kindle for only 1.99.)

So I’m done with this team for Game 5 – if it goes to six, I’ll tune back in.

As you know, I’m a huge baby, and have no tolerance for a team that doesn’t play to its potential. My (I assume) final word for the season on the Cavaliers:

1) LeBron posting up inside has a 100% success rate. That’s not an exaggeration.

2) When they’re driving and moving on offense, there’s little problem scoring, and it has a nice residual affect of throwing ORL off their offensive rhythm by making them concentrate on other things. (Not that they’re not a good defensive team, but you’re really helping them when you just stand around the perimeter holding the ball.)

3) For some reason, at really inopportune times and for no apparent reason, 1 and 2 just stop happening for awhile. Stan Van Gundy, when asked what ORL was doing differently on national TV, said “nothing”.

4) This is an ongoing thing, but why is the last minute of every quarter some kind of “LeBron goes one-on-one while everyone stands around” zone? If you’ve been scoring running “A” for eleven minutes, what is it about minute number twelve that makes you run “B”?

5) More than anything, they lost lasterday because they kept making stupid mistakes. Just dumb little things like not hustling for a loose ball (Z in the 4th), or Boobie making that idiotic foul on that old fisherman guy, or especially how they screwed up using the clock in the last minute of regulation. There’s no excuse for not calling a time-out there and making sure everyone has their heads on straight.

This is the antitheses of how they played all season – this was a team that has had a total of one turnover in a game before, and while they played hard this series, I don’t think I saw that rabid defense even once – the one where they’re all up in your face before you can even get the shot off.

This looks like one of those infamous 5-game sweeps, and I have no idea how it happened – how does a 66-win team get swept by this Orlando group? I mean, they’re really good and everything, but they start Rafer Alston and a rookie in the backcourt. Dwight is great and will fix all the problems in his game eventually, but right now, you can drop a double on him the instant he gets the ball, and you’ve got a good shot at a turnover.

I think this one deserves a name.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here – it’s available in paperback, or iPhone/Kindle for only 1.99.)