Well the truth is I’m in this Starbucks and that’s a place for buying coffee and snacks that are pretentious.
When I got there a weird customer at the counter was getting done telling the working girl that she should be a model and she did bulimia at that part of his creepy story.
Here comes the exciting part so get ready.
After I traded money for water and the water was in a bottle I sat down and did some eavesdropping on these guys and they are guys that are a couple tables down.
These are the parts that I heard and it was like this that I heard them.
hey mark how’s it going I just did a pirouette so we’re all set up
if you go to the reports tab we’re all set up
now go to quarterly tax preparation we’re all set up
go ahead to the biroway that should be set up get a screenshot of yourself so I can verify your information is correct mark
sure sure hourly rate booty what it’s ten an hour can you put that in real quick mark great tabs tabs tabs that’s the future mark i love you
Oh man this should be a whole dot com blog and that’s for sure maybe it can be called The Overheard Wrong On Purpose Businessmen Blog On the Real.
I like things that are popular and also pretty girls are another thing I like.
Do you like that same stuff if so keep reading here comes more blogs. lol
Well, you probably remember how my Uncle Bill Spaeth is always being forgetful with doing things in life because I write about that like every other post.
These business presidents bought that factory and every day he doesn’t let them smelt old cars it’s messed up for sure.
The June 9 letter was addressed to the City Council, Mayor Bob Burr, City Manager Brian Dissette and Zoning Administrator Bill Spaeth.
Spaeth is on vacation and was not available to comment on whether the smelting operation would be an allowed use under current zoning.
Way to go chief, this is like the time you didn’t mail my application to go on Here Comes the Bachelor in time to get to meet all those babes and go in hot tubs.
Now I’ll be alone forever and those smelting people are with me on how that one happened.
You have to let them smelt the aluminum or it’s messed up just like my life and how I’m not a famous TV stud.
I was over at Kickstarter Dot Com helping support my friend Mike’s project, and thought, “Man, I should have something on here and people can give me money to do it.”
After like 20 seconds, I came up with a good idea, and it’s called The Christmas Bridge.
Don’t get confused by my filmmaking skills – this isn’t a movie project, it’s an actual physical construct.
It’s a real bridge I want to build – a unique bridge, even.
It is imagined and conceived as follows:
1) It’s a bridge that stretches from Cleveland to Columbus, Ohio – this is scientifically proven to be the most boring 200 miles to drive on Earth, and it needs an injection of bridge.
2) It’s always Christmas Day on the Christmas Bridge, and it’s always snowing on it, even in the Summer. Pipes help this happen.
3) This is the Fantasy Island of bridges – if you go on it and make a wish, it’ll come true in a way that teaches you a lesson about learning.
4) Nic Cage is always on the Christmas Bridge, and he’s sledding back and forth, and nobody can figure out how he makes his sled keep going, and he never needs to sleep.
5) Metal is what it’s made of and there are never any tolls except for stocking stuffers, and the stocking stuffers are iPod Nanos.
6) When people get to the other side of the Bridge, they get their Nanos back, but it’s not their own Nano, it’s somebody else’s, but it only has viral videos on it. This is to make everyone want to come back for more of the Bridge experience.
I only need $91,000,000 to build the Christmas Bridge and keep it running for the first month.
The equations I made say it’ll make enough in that initial 30 days to sustain itself.
It’s really important that the Christmas Bridge stay free, because of the Christmas part of the bridge, which is the whole bridge.
This was submitted to Kickstarter this morning, so we’ll see if they approve it.
(This is the type of post I throw together in 5 minutes that makes me register christmasbridge.com, ends up as a whole book concept, and ultimately results in self-hate.)
(If you don’t follow the NBA pretty closely, you probably need not bother with this post.
To make it relatable to all, I’d have to do a lot of explaining.)
I’ve been reading a lot about how offended everyone is about Cleveland being allowed to re-sign Z in what was clearly an unspoken understanding about the Jamison trade.
“Look, we have a chance to pick up Jamison for nothing if we pretend we don’t want you anymore and you take a 30-day vacation. Good? Good.”
It was likely never said outside the Danny Ferry Excitement Bunker, but everyone “got it”.
The great lengths the team has gone to removing Z’s image from the arena, and how Z’s agent is pretending to romance other teams – it’s all funny, at least to a Cleveland fan like myself.
What’s odd is how aghast people are about this now, when it’s been going on for years.
Now, we all know what the aghastedness is about: anything that helps Cleveland win the title brings LeBron one step closer to staying, which means the national media won’t have anything to write about.
Even my unbiased side doesn’t think he’s leaving anyway, and certainly not for the Knicks – historically, how many league MVPs have left one of the best teams in the NBA for one of the worst, and taken less money to do so?
If people would stop hoping for the sensational story and start looking at the facts, it might help. Don’t forget, he could’ve left three years ago if he’d wanted to.
In any case, the point of this post is that nobody is talking about this: what Cleveland is doing is an amazingly great example of something.
Here you’ve got a small-market team, in a city that’s shrinking and losing jobs, in a lousy economy…gaming the system.
Isn’t that what everyone complains that the Red Sox and Yankees and Knicks do? Just spend money rampantly and buy a winner? (Well, the Knicks don’t actually accomplish that, but you get the point.)
Yes, having LeBron is a variable that won’t fit in anyone else’s potential template, but the little team from Cleveland becoming the economic bully of the NBA is point that should be celebrated in some fashion, not criticized.
Talk all you want about the system being broken – I’d say the people running the teams (GMs/Owners) are simply bad at their jobs in many cases.
This is about more than just a few robbery trades – Gilbert has built a first class organization, and Danny Ferry has done a fantastic job.
Remember when he played hardball with Varajao, refusing to overpay for him? How many other GMs would’ve just ponied up $10M/year for six years without thinking about it?
Call it hometown pride, but that’s the good story nobody’s taking from this. Smart owner willing to spend, smart GM willing to make tough/smart deals, build yourself a winner.
This has been in the works for a bit and I’m excited to finally be able to talk about it.
Who Shot Mamba? is one of only four web properties that are going to be included in Brand in Entertainment’s brand auction next month at Christie’s in NYC.
Basically, this is an opportunity for the Mamba franchise to get shoved down the throats of major brands for further development, exposure, and continuation.
It’s also an opportunity for me to wear a suit.
In no way was this a simple thing to have happen. All credit and thanks goes to the walking think-tank that is Gennefer Snowfield of Space Truffles Entertainment.
I don’t know why she likes space desserts so much, but I do know we see a lot of things in this web (and brand) based entertainment space exactly the same.
For 2010, BiE currently has 33 films and 25 television projects scheduled and is working on such films as “Henry’s Crime” starring [President] Keanu Reeves and James Caan, “Unamerican” starring Jessica Biel and John Leguizamo, and has just finished work on “Meeting Spencer” with Jeffrey Tambor.
In any case, there will be lots more news about this as January 20th gets closer, and there’s something else fairly amazing happening the week I’ll be in NYC, which I can’t talk about just yet.
So if you love WSM?, make your comments happen over on YouTube, and keep the love coming on the WSM? Facebook Page, which raced past 3000 fans the other day.
Seriously, it means a ton to see such great feedback and everyone who worked on this appreciates every bit of it.
Chapter 6 lands January 5th – here’s a quick :54 preview of what’s ahead in Chapter 7. Wait, that makes no sense to do it like that.
So Who Shot Mamba? – our self-dubbed “broadband motion picture” – starts running tomorrow.
The most oft-asked question about it – is it a movie or a web series? The answer is simple – it’s both. It’s a stand-alone feature film crafted specifically to work as a web serial.
As such, instead of a self-congratulatory post about WSM? finally coming out, I’d like to explain my rationale behind why it’s been done like this, as opposed to just making an indie film, or just making a web series. [Like here is how to read the rest.]
Okay so I’m interested in this web series currently shooting called SOLO, because I’ve been told its funny by @robgokeemusic, whose taste I trust, and it’s the child of @JonathanNail, who is writing/producing/acting, a form of self-torture I can sympathize with.
This post has nothing to do with the series itself, except that there was something on their Facebook Page that really stuck out to me.
Like seriously Facebook, you need to be better than that. At least find a way to filter ads that I see or that people allow on their pages.
I’m not against age-separated relationships btw – I’m against that pic of a young blond girl being held by a shirtless older man who looks like he’s going to do date rape at her in his meth lab.
Also, LOL!
What do you think are the names of the two people in that ad, and how did they meet.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about those Redbox DVD-rental vending machines, and what the inside of one looks like, and like how all the movies know how to come out, and like where they go when you put them back in, and pretty much the entire process of getting a DVD from a RedBox.
I mentioned this on Twitter – here was one thread of response.
JoannePistonFan @brianspaeth Is redbox that thing inside the grocery store?
brianspaeth @JoannePistonFan Yeah movies live inside there and you push the button to tell them to come out. Also you do that with money.
So like to solve this, I went ahead and tried to get Wolverine Begins at three different RedBoxes – all three were out of it.
The problem is, it took me a while to determine they didn’t have it. One, I just assumed part of the whole RedBox gag was that they always have everything.
Two, it never actually told me that it didn’t have Wolverine Begins – no “sold out” or anything – it just like takes it out of the menu options.
So like a stupid person, instead of waiting for maybe the next week, I just bought it for $20. This, a movie I really didn’t want to see.
Not only that, but I didn’t even go to Wal-Mart – it was at the grocery store check-out line, and if you’ve read me for any length of time, you know POP (Point Of Purchase) items are my personal money extraction drugs.
Also, this all happened like two months ago, before Wolverine Begins was out on DVD. Do you think RedBox likes it when I refer to their business as a “gag”. wtf
THE PRIZES
First Prize: The $15 Bill, as shown on top, and signed by Tara, a random girl who works at a T-Mobile store. She’s really fun, because she was all like, “Sure!” when I asked her to put a heart next to her name.
Second Prize: The Subpar and Far Inferior Backward $15 Bill, as seen on bottom, and also signed by Tara. She was hesitant to put the heart on this one – a complex woman, to be sure.
THE CONTEST
This is a good old-fashioned coloring contest, which is perfect for helping out all of you who are bored at work.
The picture is seen below – this is the amazing actress, Brandi Engel, as drawn by the amazing artist, Paul Taylor. The explosion has no name. The rules follow the pic.
THE JUDGING
The contest will be a point-based system – the judges are:
1) @Brandi88 (TEMPEST:Brandi Engel)
2) @Need4Sheed_com (TEMPEST: Natalie Sitto).
3) @brianspaeth (TEMPEST: Brian Spaeth; NAY, this is me.)
4) @pablowapsi (TEMPEST: Paul Taylor)
It’s a 1-25 scale from each of the judges – so like “100″ would be a perfect coloring job. Don’t fret – the “most-skilled” coloring job may not necessarily be the “best” one. Hence the four judges, each with a personal TEMPEST.
SUBMISSIONS
First of all, click here to go get the full-rez version. You can either print it out and color with crayons/markers, or do it with a computer based app like Photoshop or MS Paint, or anything you want.
When you’re done, simply “@WhoShotMamba” your submission with the words “I colored @Brandi88″, and a link to your completed work. (If you aren’t on Twitter or just want to be private about your coloring action, you can also email it to me at yaysports@gmail.com, my secret email address I don’t tell anyone about.)
(NOTE: @WhoShotMamba is the account for my film, Who Shot Mamba?, and is run by @alexiskn (TEMPEST: Alexis Norton). Following @alexiskn AND @WhoShotMamba on Twitter is worth 10 bonus points.)
As you submit, there will be all kinds of excitement and such and we can all show off what a good coloring person you are. Make sure to “sign” the piece with your Twitter handle.
The deadline is next Friday, which is July 31. It starts…now.
By the way, I just remembered one time in high school where I pronounced “photography” as “FOE-TOE-GRAFFY” out loud to someone. Have you ever done something similar? Is the moment burned into your brain like that one is into mine? Also, what do you think about this contest?
I don’t know if stuff like this goes on in like Second Life or those other online community games, but as all this social networking gets more real world, ie people are online who they are offline, I’m convinced there’s money to be made somewhere in the concept of Internet Married.
Whether it be a venue for heavy flirting as it is now (I’m Internet Engaged to at least 5 girls), or an actual non-legal but formal arrangement wherein you can only be internet married to one person at a time, there’s just something there.
For example, let’s say InternetMarried.com had like a lot of traffic, and the gist of it is that two people (who met on Twitter or wherever) decide they want to get Internet Married. It’s submitted to the community for a judgment, and then like some kind of something is issued.
(Naturally, you have an offshoot site called Internet Divorced.)
So like someone go run with that and get rich off of it. I think the real money would come when a real marriage came out of it, and then you started doing talk shows and writing books, pretending you’re some kind of relationship expert.
Oh – another idea I have is called Nuclear Internet, which is like the regular internet, but nuclear, and everything has like plutonium dripping everywhere. I don’t even think you need to issue judgments or have a central website for this, so like you could get started like immediately.
Thoughts on all of the above?
(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here – it’s available in paperback, or iPhone/Kindle for only 1.99.)
Well the truth is I’m in this Starbucks and that’s a place for buying coffee and snacks that are pretentious. 
I was over at Kickstarter Dot Com helping support 
(If you don’t follow the NBA pretty closely, you probably need not bother with this post. 
(This is @
