Hey this is an old post and that means maybe a week ago I thought a lot of viral videos would happen to it if I made it.
Things that are nice and mean beer got in the way and so here we go.
Bell Biv Devoe! lol
Inside the car wash is where I was when the picture happened and maybe you know that because you were the one who was with me in my car and remember that car was in the car wash. Try to keep up I already said it.
Well the guy said something that was like, “hey buddy your car wash is over, so move it on out or those people back there waiting to make their car washes happen will get mad,” and I waved him off and then made the person with me wave him off and that’s a double wave-off.
The car wash went on for four hours and a car wash kiss happened too and she was awful pretty and that’s why that happened. Don’t worry her boyfriend doesn’t even know and he even was working at the car wash.
That’s why I waved him off it’s so he wouldn’t see.
3:46 is a new world record for how fast I wrote this and that means no typos.
Sometimes I like to read about me on Twitter in a way that is like I am not me.
That means a pretend friendship with myself and there’s that Twitter.
Okay so I don’t even know what I was trying to say but here is a Tweet and I like it and also I made it.
The best part about #starbucks today was when I yelled “Hey does anyone know Carrie Underwood’s website?”
about 12 hours ago via Twitter for Android
Also after I said that I did my Great Britain voice and said some words to my person next to me and those words were, “Hey do you want to come to my house and take pretentious pictures of me with my phone and it’s an Android phone and it does widescreen.”
So that’s like a fable and how the picture at the start happened and it comes in color if you give me your money dollars.
Only at Kinkos.
If you don’t remember when it was yesterday and a couple business guys were sharing conversations about the big $10/hr deal then go look at that.
I was playing spy games at them and that was a fun read and there were 614 Diggs at it with a new fark website.
Here it comes again but at a different place and also it is just one guy and another guy and that guy is on the first guy’s phone and it’s a mobile phone.
They call those a “moving telly” in Europe and that’s a clue about this guy maybe.
clancey here chop a lingo the first one left my card in the uk
no i left my card in the uk thanks
rope a dope junction about that i left my card in the uk
trains mate
Okay so at this part I did an interruption meme and asked for some retalking and that happened after a look that was like “oh are you making dot coms aboot me conversation, laddy”.
So it kept going is the lesson and the talking was louder so my ears could get to it in a way that was better.
sorry rope a dope that’s yew kay not uck
After that part a major babe in a denim blue jeans dress came to the Starbucks and I made a move for the Spaghetti Warehouse Date and that happened.
I am at there right now and what a stud I am to be like this already.
Do you believe in miracles.
Well the truth is I’m in this Starbucks and that’s a place for buying coffee and snacks that are pretentious.
When I got there a weird customer at the counter was getting done telling the working girl that she should be a model and she did bulimia at that part of his creepy story.
Here comes the exciting part so get ready.
After I traded money for water and the water was in a bottle I sat down and did some eavesdropping on these guys and they are guys that are a couple tables down.
These are the parts that I heard and it was like this that I heard them.
hey mark how’s it going I just did a pirouette so we’re all set up
if you go to the reports tab we’re all set up
now go to quarterly tax preparation we’re all set up
go ahead to the biroway that should be set up get a screenshot of yourself so I can verify your information is correct mark
sure sure hourly rate booty what it’s ten an hour can you put that in real quick mark great tabs tabs tabs that’s the future mark i love you
Oh man this should be a whole dot com blog and that’s for sure maybe it can be called The Overheard Wrong On Purpose Businessmen Blog On the Real.
I like things that are popular and also pretty girls are another thing I like.
Do you like that same stuff if so keep reading here comes more blogs. lol
I think this guy is actually 15.
So I was falling down at my Sidewalk Tweetup and my phone went to this blogsite web post about
things this booty would tell her 17 year-old self and I started rolling around on the sidewalk thinking about my list.
So here are the things I would say to the me that is 17 and these are in an order that is not particular for you.
Oh also I grouped them in a way that is how I think the conversation might go.
- Keep working and your muscles will happen to you.
- I guess one day you will have a time machine and do this too.
- Don’t make any paradoxes happen, like come to see you tomorrow and not that the same time I’m here right now.
- Sell PCBM at 1.90 cause the next day it’s going to have one of those bad days and go to .00019 and stay there forever.
- Just stay away from penny stocks in general maybe?
- Hey can I cut you on your arm and then like we will see if a scar appears on my arm in real-time.
- Look what I did to our shoulder with a tattoo. lol
- You should invent Twitter and get money dollars for doing it.
- Also you need to make up Lost and Gossiping Girls because people love those shows.
- That time you break your face – don’t do that one. Also that’s a spoiler so I can’t tell you when that happens.
- One day Bill Walton will play your daddy in a movie.
- Oops spoiler space – sorry about that one, Lil’ Bri.
- Can I call you Lil’ Bri.
- Hey Lil’ Bri we should go see Mom and Dad right now and give them heart attacks. lol
- Where is our girlfriend and is it weird if I go on an excitement date with her tonight.
Those are all the ones I can think of right now but maybe I will do another part to the list later.
Would you say anything to a 17 year-old me and if you did would it be exactly what I did except maybe a little different because he’d be all like “who are you lady”. lol
I know these are like for snobs to put their caviers and lol-patte on, but really nobody wants to put these inside their faces at all.
These crackers are for being boring is where I’m coming from so I mean wtfpod is with Costco selling such big boxes.
One time I had a fun party and rented out a warehouse to do that at and there were crackers for sure but I’m talking big boxes of Ritz.
You know there were smiles on all the people’s faces because of eating Ritz and one guy even came up to me and he walked in a way that was like “these Ritz are good” and he had salsa in his pocket.
In conclusion don’t serve those even if they have a name that tries to mean you can play music and dance to the crackers being on the serving plate.
Also at the warehouse party everyone ate their Ritzes right out of the box or off of plates that we had put them on and there were some in red party cups, too.
Well, you probably remember how my Uncle Bill Spaeth is always being forgetful with doing things in life because I write about that like every other post.
He did it again with these money guys who want to smelt aluminum and he’s dropping the ball on getting them their permission slips.
These business presidents bought that factory and every day he doesn’t let them smelt old cars it’s messed up for sure.
The June 9 letter was addressed to the City Council, Mayor Bob Burr, City Manager Brian Dissette and Zoning Administrator Bill Spaeth.
Spaeth is on vacation and was not available to comment on whether the smelting operation would be an allowed use under current zoning.
Way to go chief, this is like the time you didn’t mail my application to go on Here Comes the Bachelor in time to get to meet all those babes and go in hot tubs.
Now I’ll be alone forever and those smelting people are with me on how that one happened.
You have to let them smelt the aluminum or it’s messed up just like my life and how I’m not a famous TV stud.
Stop playing golfing.
(Sometimes I do a text with @iamboney and it makes his battery become sleepy.)
Okay so I thought maybe it was time to tell the excitement story about the time I made a booty babe think I only knew about 500 words that I could say.
I was at a movie watching place and before the movie started the double date was ending. It might have been a just-friends date – I don’t remember.
The girl was sitting there and I told her about how sometimes I read interesting things to make my brain do hard work and there was one thing about how people who were average knew 17,000 words.
Then my sad face was on my face and that was because I said I only knew 500, and I knew that because I’d tried to list them all.
Well, that was when some skepticism was happening to her, so I started my list over on some paper I had in my pocket and did on-purpose stalling at around 30 words.
“Well, I’m out of words,” was what I said and put a look on my face that was like being dumbfounded.
“Four of those words aren’t on your list,” and she pointed out that I hadn’t listed four out of those five by saying that to me.
“Hey, did you know that grape popsicles are colder than the other ones?” That was me talking again.
“Those were a bunch more words, and no.”
This went on until the movie started and then some more after the movie was done being on the screen.
I never let go of my dumb guy game I was playing, because that’s pretty much how I am all the time anyway.
Also my girlfriend would’ve been in a mad place with her emotions if she had found out about my triple-word-score dumb guy blind movie date.
Now I’m a new man don’t worry.
So a few people have asked when I’m gonna write something about the Lost finale.
I loved it like crazy, but don’t know how much I have to say about it. I thought it was amazing.
Once again, they managed to do something that nobody predicted yet still “fit” perfectly. This is my favorite image from the episode.
Anyway, a lot of you who have read me for years know I’m not a fan of “easy” toilet humor and excessive swearing for the sake of doing it.
It’s not that I don’t think these things can be funny, it’s just that swearing for the sake of swearing doesn’t work for me.
I was having a broadband real-time dot com chat with @kristinbrennan yesterday that addressed this further.
me: Hey Kristin
Kristin: hi b
Kristin: why are you calling me that lol
me: lol I wanted to to see what would happen
Kristin: haha no one calls me that
Kristin: except you, right now
Kristin: even my mom calls me kb
Kristin’s new status message – deathblog :( 4:13 PM
me: What does deathblog mean
Kristin: i feel like crap
Kristin: i think its allergies but im not a doctor so i have no idea what my neckup’s problem is
Kristin: but im like sore throat, clogged head headache that no matter what i take wont go away
Kristin: its just not fun
me: How long have you been like this
Kristin: the headaches have been all week
Kristin: so i took a clartin like a normal person thinking it would help
Kristin: and excredrin didnt help. i think i stuffed too many pills into me at once :(
me: Sometimes they get stuck and won’t work cause there are so many
me: And you are so little
Kristin: is that true or are you being silly
Kristin: i’m super little :(
me: No it’s not true
Kristin: oh i hate you lol
Kristin: i actually believe you for a second
me: But KB it sounds like you probably have f***ing AIDS
Kristin: LOL!!!!
me: Can I put this on my blog
Not much more needs to be said other than figuring out what KB’s “neckup” is.
You may remember we run a company together – at the next board meeting I will bring this up.
Hey this is an old post and that means maybe a week ago I thought a lot of viral videos would happen to it if I made it.
