Here comes some technology for you to have fun learning about and also some art.

I like to take cool pictures that are neat with my Android phone and inside the phone there’s the Vignette App and it lives in the phone and makes your pictures have different ways they can become pictures.

One of the ways is a setting that is called “Action Movie” which for sure is the one for me and this is how it works. First I did a button push to make this picture have its birthday.

It seemed pretty good but then I put the dial on the Action Movie setting and it transformered the picture a little, and then even more it gobotted the picture and then here’s what I got.

This guy isn’t getting his cap sunburned either – keep those glasses on!

Also here is one with the Romance setting.

The 23 is for Michael Jordan and how he is a real-deal alpha dawg with courage about how to make his legacy appear.

This is a little sneak preview of my proposed re-do on my shoulder tattoo.

I got it – it was done – it didn’t hurt that bad. The guy who did it thought I was nuts.

This preview you’re looking at was not done in Photoshop, but in some Android app that makes your picture into either olde-tymey or Warhol or whatever you want to do.

It’s not perfect, but you can do interesting things with your phone on the go? LOL!

So you may remember something happened to the Cavs that made them have a 2010 loss for their Playoffs.

I’ve written like six posts on this and never published any of them – the torment and angst were just a little too negative for the website blog. (It’s broadband now – click the link.)

Luckily, I owed a favor to Cleveland Frowns dot com – if you’ve been wondering what my CLE-based (LeBron) basketball thoughts were made of, it’s all right here, in classic YAYsports! NBA style.

Also, I’ve finally zeroed in on one book to write – I’ve started like three this year, but none got past a third of the way done. (I did consider putting out all three thirds as some kind of gimmick book about thirds of books.)

One of them decided it wanted to get done, though. Here’s an excerpt piece that’s part of it.

This was the truth, and Jesi knew it was crazy and whack to tell the truth right then, but he was crunk and never lied. He was just like James K. Polk, who was a great President. Maybe even the best one, so think on that one.

It made me think while writing this post English is maybe not for me anymore?

Good-bye until the next time a blog post is new for you.

Twitter has a way to get embed code for Tweets now.

Also, new Bell Biv Devoe album!

This post was heavily edited – it used to be like 7-800 words. That’s seven (7) to eight hundred (800).

mmh : /

Okay, so this is my first post from the WordPress app on the Google Nexus One Excitement Phone, so bear with me.

I’ve been meaning to try this for awhile but only now got around to it.

That last sentence seemed awkward.

So did that one.

It’s kinda hard to write like this – everything feels like it should be Tweet-length from the phone, plus my hands hurt from playing Home Run Battle 3-D all night on this.

Cavs in 5 – that pic is a tease at the shoulder tattoo fix.

It was Sunday night, and I was trying to think about what I was gonna do my important blogging about in the morning.

Nothing was really coming to mind, so I looked in the DRAFTS thing in WordPress to see what I had.

Here’s everything:

What Ever Happened To madpropstobakedpotatoes.com
What PTSA Also Stands For
On Being Deceptively Muscular
I Watch Sober House Every Week Now
My Final Word on LeBron to the Knicks
TurtleCalls.com
Is LeBron Pregnant -
I Murdered Someone With My Car LOL
Good Guy Dictators
Bruce’s Yams Returns
The Monopoly Movie
The Leg Tattoo

None of those are striking me, although they’re all things I still want to touch on.

The last one reminds me I need to go get my shoulder tattoo maladjusted. Maybe I should do that this week, so it’s fresh for the fun summertime and the big election.

I wish I could tell you what I was working on right now so you could have some heart attacks.

Might be on another social media break soon. : /

(This picture is a special sneak preview of the post you’re about to read.)

I already mentioned what follows on a podcast I did with old tyme Roundie Henchman Ben Cox, but it bears repeating.

Basically, my biggest fear about the Playoffs, Free Agency 2010, and LeBron.

It’s not losing. We of Cleveland fandom have done it before, in the most heartbreaking ways possible.

Nor is it LeBron leaving, win or lose. I’m at peace with that.

If it happens, it’s because he wants to live somewhere else, and nothing can stop that. The Cavs organization is first class in every way and the best basketball situation, as well.

This fear is not even the Cavs winning the title, and the unsettling loss of identity that will accompany it.

No, my biggest fear is the combination of the Cavs winning and the city going completely overboard in terms of celebration and honors.

I don’t mean riots or parades – those will be fun and I’ll be flying in for them.

I’m talking about putting up LeBron statues immediately, retiring #23 when he switches to #6, renaming roads and buildings after him, etc.

Please wait until he retires.

With the dearth of joy around CLE’s other sports teams, the general inexperience with winning, and the “we must romance him for free agency” factor…it’s scary.

Don’t forget, this is the city that allowed Jacob’s Field to have “Era of Champions” on the outfield wall to celebrate the multiple Central Division titles.

(If you need the full 45 minutes of podcasting action – they cut all my turtlecalls.com talk – you can get that here.)

(Here’s Zack K’s Dick Vitale Fathead action, as well as Zack himself, enhancing that action by also doing some hand-and-smile action of his own.

What’s interesting is all the monster truck Fatheads they already had in the office, and how those monster trucks drive around on the walls on their own – click to see full size.)

If you didn’t watch the Cavaliers-Celtics game yesterday, I don’t know how much sense this will make.

Short version is the Cavs – after a huge comeback – were down two with very little time left.

In a dream scenario, LeBron James suddenly had a 1-on-2 fast break.

Now, having watched 95% of LeBron’s career games, I can tell you that when LeBron is trucking along in this situation, there are only three results:

1) They wrap him up and foul him, sending him to the foul line.
2) They try to wrap him up and foul him, but LeBron drags them along, scores, and gets the foul.
3) They get out of the way and LeBron scores.

As you may note, provided he doesn’t inexplicably pull up for an ill-advised three-pointer, there was a 100% chance LeBron could’ve had a chance to tie that game up or even go ahead.

Of course, instead he pulled up for the inexplicable three. Scary stuff.

Hey, all of these are available if you want to start a bad schtick-laden sports blog:

lebronforthree.com
ohgodlebron.com
whylebronwhy.com
lebronjamesshirtless.com
nolebronno.com

I’m not sure about that last one, since it’s so open to confusion with No LeBronno!, the popular children’s cooking show from New Mexico.

As to LebronShirtless.com, I get regular daily traffic off people looking for some variation of “LeBron shirtless”, so you may just want to get that and then make a website and become popular.

I don’t remember my point.

I did more Twitter action last night than I probably have in the past two weeks put together.

The whole health care reform reaction/discussion – which many people hashtagged with #hcr – was going crazy.

My thoughts were swirling around and I too had to get them out.

In lieu of many people’s hyperbolic statements about either freedom, America, history, or Communism, I had some of these thoughts.

I won’t know for sure how I feel about #hcr until Beyonce makes her statement.

@Streakerdude2 I didn’t even know this was going on until like an hour ago lol

Why do they bang that gavel lololol

Is Biden crying or tired – he’s the Vice President right?

It occurs to me that if the Cavs win it all & LeBron leaves, it’ll be a true Cleveland moment, wherein we can’t even enjoy our one title.

Does everyone get free thermometers lol

Also, that guy in the picture was in the background of the CNN broadcast I turned on.

He was either exhausted or drunk, but one thing I know is he’ll be my lasting impression of this Health Care Victory Crisis 2010.

That’s the one absolute certainty here, by the way – everyone must make absolute judgement on whether this works or not by NOON TODAY.

If you read my old website or saw my movie, you know I have an extensive history with the product known as Fatheads.

I lived the full cycle of not comprehending their purpose to putting a much-beloved LeBron James Fathead on my bedroom wall.

Another thing you may know is that I haven’t looked at an NCAA Tourney bracket in like three years.

Throw all this into a blender and the result is clear – I’m giving away Dick Vitale Fatheads starting right now.

If you don’t know what a Fathead is, it’s basically a bold, life-sized wall graphic or “reusable wall hanging”.

It’s big, it’s sticks to your wall, and then like if you rearrange your futniture, you can take it off the wall and put it other places.

When I say other places, I mean like the hood of your car, your boss’s office, the company bathroom, your roommate’s wall, you could wrap it around yourself, put it where it shouldn’t be, etc, et al, furthermore. (The car scenario is where my personal LeBron Fathead finally bit the dust.)

This is pretty much what I want you to do – tell me what you’ll do with it, and then I’ll get the Fathead sent to you right away.

After that, you do the thing you said you were going to do, with photographic and/or video evidence. Then I’ll put it on the internet so we can feel nice and exciting together, sharing your special activity with the world.

Just send me an email, or post in the comments, or hit me on Twitter, or whatever.

There might also be free WSM? DVDs in this for someone(s) if I feel like it – also, I’m trying to get Fathead to let me give away that chair and towel in the picture.

(If you don’t follow the NBA pretty closely, you probably need not bother with this post.

To make it relatable to all, I’d have to do a lot of explaining.)

I’ve been reading a lot about how offended everyone is about Cleveland being allowed to re-sign Z in what was clearly an unspoken understanding about the Jamison trade.

“Look, we have a chance to pick up Jamison for nothing if we pretend we don’t want you anymore and you take a 30-day vacation. Good? Good.”

It was likely never said outside the Danny Ferry Excitement Bunker, but everyone “got it”.

The great lengths the team has gone to removing Z’s image from the arena, and how Z’s agent is pretending to romance other teams – it’s all funny, at least to a Cleveland fan like myself.

What’s odd is how aghast people are about this now, when it’s been going on for years.

Now, we all know what the aghastedness is about: anything that helps Cleveland win the title brings LeBron one step closer to staying, which means the national media won’t have anything to write about.

Even my unbiased side doesn’t think he’s leaving anyway, and certainly not for the Knicks – historically, how many league MVPs have left one of the best teams in the NBA for one of the worst, and taken less money to do so?

If people would stop hoping for the sensational story and start looking at the facts, it might help. Don’t forget, he could’ve left three years ago if he’d wanted to.

In any case, the point of this post is that nobody is talking about this: what Cleveland is doing is an amazingly great example of something.

Here you’ve got a small-market team, in a city that’s shrinking and losing jobs, in a lousy economy…gaming the system.

Isn’t that what everyone complains that the Red Sox and Yankees and Knicks do? Just spend money rampantly and buy a winner? (Well, the Knicks don’t actually accomplish that, but you get the point.)

Yes, having LeBron is a variable that won’t fit in anyone else’s potential template, but the little team from Cleveland becoming the economic bully of the NBA is point that should be celebrated in some fashion, not criticized.

Talk all you want about the system being broken – I’d say the people running the teams (GMs/Owners) are simply bad at their jobs in many cases.

This is about more than just a few robbery trades – Gilbert has built a first class organization, and Danny Ferry has done a fantastic job.

Remember when he played hardball with Varajao, refusing to overpay for him? How many other GMs would’ve just ponied up $10M/year for six years without thinking about it?

Call it hometown pride, but that’s the good story nobody’s taking from this. Smart owner willing to spend, smart GM willing to make tough/smart deals, build yourself a winner.

Even outside THE NEW YORK CITY.

OMG ALICIA KEYS SING YOUR FAUX-FANCY SONG.

(I blatantly re-purposed this Photoshop job from my old website, sorry.)

I know it’s like the “blog thing to do” to bash ESPN’s Bill Simmons, and I don’t come here to do that today expressly.

Say what you will about him, but I’ve come to quite like his podcast – he has interesting guests and there’s an enthusiasm and casualness to it I like.

He’s also fairly aware he maybe needs to step back from the NBA trade machine a bit – he freely admits his craziest trade suggestions are indeed crazy at times.

However, on his show with JA Adande the other day, he was totally serious (it seemed) in his opinion that the best basketball situations for LeBron to go to are Chicago and the LA Clippers.

Not only that, but he completely discounted the Cavs as anything more than a remote possibility.

Now, while I’m a Cleveland fan to the end, I’m freely willing to admit LeBron may leave, and that he’ll certainly visit every single team in the NBA on his free agent tour this summer.

Looking purely at it from a basketball standpoint though…let’s look at the Cavs.

- Best record in the NBA
- Built-in chemistry/continuity
- Defensive-minded coach
- Brand-new practice facility
- Big expiring contracts
- One of the few teams that are profitable
- Owner willing to spend whatever it takes

You could go down the list with both Chicago and LAC, and they’re the opposite of what the Cavs have in many cases.

LeBron’s gonna go play for Mike Dunleavey on the most cursed, cheap, and poorly run organization in sports? I can’t even see how that’s a rational argument at all, basing it purely on basketball.

And Chicago? Does LeBron really want his legacy to be having every single thing ever written about him forever be even more of a comparison to Michael Jordan?

Even adding in marketing, he’s fine in Cleveland.

With the new McDonald’s deal, he’s got all the big sponsor segments except a car company.

He’s got a TV show in development. He’s had a feature documentary out. He has a deal to star in LeBron’s Fantasy Basketball Camp Begins.

Look, he’s conquered America, and this doesn’t even take into account that Cleveland is close to home, the Cavs can pay him the most money, and also have a minority owner from China, which is actually a bigger market than LA and NYC. (!!!)

In conclusion, I’m sure this has been written 50 times elsewhere already, but I didn’t even know Stephon Marbury was playing in China, so there you go.

(WSM? ends tonight – if you missed the first half of the big Sherman-Stadiums showdown…here. Aw, lookit Petey Skippen getting his chance to shine!)

I was gonna make a big deal about like doing a big redesign on the site for 2010, but realized I like the thing how it is. All I did was move the links for my books up a notch and add a page about the Radby book.

Brad says he’s been getting all this email asking “wtf” about whether he’s a real person or a fake person or a cartoon person, so I felt a need to clarify things.

The big news for 2010 is that I’ve found myself kinda into the NBA again. The Cavaliers are quietly playing quite well after a bumpy start, and there just seems to be lots of interesting things going on.

I get intrigued by things like Tracy McGrady having his sadness again and Gilbert Arenas being unable to shake the Curse of the Mamba.

In any case…some IM action, in lieu of actual content.

Brian: Why are you awake
Girl: Lol…sorry.
Brian: : /
Girl: : /
Brian: Have you ever had the cereal Blue Crunchos
Girl: I have noto. Is it tasty
Brian: Yeah and even crunchier than it sounds
Girl: Oh wow
Brian: Yeah
Girl: Cool well I’m glad we talked about that brian
Brian: Me too
Girl: Bye
Brian: Can I put this on my blog it is making me laugh

Also I’ve eaten two full boxes of Cold-Eeze in the past 48 hours.

Who Shot Mamba? Chapter 6 sometime tonight – keep an eye on the FB Page.

(Yes, I’m excited about the Google Phone. Rumored January release and supported by T-Mobile for once.

Also, Calvin Stadiums has been blogging over at Yardbarker for a couple weeks now, and look for some Who Shot Mamba? blooper reels on the Facebook Page this week.)

Some years back my mom started sending those “here’s what everyone is up to” letters with her Merry Christmas cards.

I immediately insisted on control over any part of the content that referenced me, so each December I submit my own section for her to include.

(My brother does this too – perhaps he can post the 2009 edition, as his are excellent.)

Alas, this is what I sent her over the weekend.

I’m still writing and acting and producing and trying to get new projects together.

I’ve never touched a guitar before. Also, I stopped using question marks this year for awhile. Isn’t that weird.

Oops! Lost my car keys again! LOL

Do you use gmail?

Your pal,
Brian Spaeth

P.S. My sole goal in writing this was to have my mother say something like, “I am not sending this!” and I guarantee she did exactly that after I emailed it to her.

Sent via my Blackberri Tornado II From T-Marbles
Movie – www.whoshotmamba.com
Twitter – www.twitter.com/brianspaeth
Facebook – www.facebook.com/brianspaeth
Website – www.brian23.com

P.P.S. Mom, make sure to include these links, cause like that’s part of the joke for this section of the letter.

P.P.P.S Also include all of these PS’s – including this one. These are also part of the joke.

P.P.P.P.S. Sorry for not taking your Merry Christmas Letter 2010 seriously. :(

I have to admit, I can’t see a day where I ever send Christmas cards or letters of any kind myself.

Like I get them from friends of mine who are married already, and I’m always thinking, “Why did you send me this and why is it signed The Jones Family? I don’t know what one of those is – why don’t you just email or call me? Yeah, I know I don’t answer my phone ever, but why did you get married?”

Do you or your family send these type of Christmas letters? Do you send Christmas cards? Do you believe in Merry Christmas Trees and why.

(Obviously these covers were done long before the Celtics won that NBA title thingy.

That statement on the mag is a parody of times long past, so don’t get all ca-razee.)

Tomorrow’s Chapter 3 of Who Shot Mamba? sees the in-story debut of Calvin Stadiums, what one might call the film’s “unofficial adaptation of Gilbert Arenas”.

If you’ve read Prelude to a Who Shot Mamba?, you know that we actually pursued Gilbert to play Calvin, which ultimately didn’t happen.

I’ve felt this was for the better – Dylan Mooney is amazing as Calvin, and it really makes the character much more the property of the film.

Now, before settling on Calvin, some other fictionalized versions of past and present players were considered.

Mock artwork and domain names were even registered for many of the following, just in case.

Jeffery Michaels
Henry Ruffers (See his DUNK cover by clicking here.)
Kody O’Bryan
LeFrank Jones
TJ Potato
Nick Dirkowski
Lance Marker
Mason Lipp

Can you guess who they are? Feel free to offer up some of your own, as well.

Here’s my big problem with the 2009-10 NBA season – why didn’t LeBron’s people get on Sports Illustrated about how they picked an image that made him look kinda wimpy for their cover issue.

I bought both these mags, but haven’t cracked either one – probably won’t. That’s okay – it’s the thought that counts, plus it’s Cavs over Lakers in the Finals, provided Shaq can stay healthy and Delonte West isn’t locked up somewhere.

I feel so confident in this prediction that I’ll even admit I accidentally typed “Lakers over Cavs” in the previous sentence before I caught myself.

Also, not to bring up old wounds, but can we finally all agree that Joe Dumars isn’t that great of a GM. @iamboney confirmed that the big-money Detroit free agents are coming off the bench.

Anyone could’ve told Joe – and many people did – that those guys are perfect 4th scoring options on a good team.

Now to the important stuff, and in conclusion – here’s some IM action from lasterday. “Girl” is totally her real name, as well.

Brian: Ilu
Girl: Ok omg. Ilu2. Byeee
Brian: Lol
Girl: Don’t laugh at meee
Brian: : /
Girl: Ughhh
Girl: A-hole
Brian: Thx ttyl
Girl: I threw up lol
Brian: Lol can I put part of this on my blog if I don’t say it’s you lolol

NBA NBA NBA NBA NBA

How ready are you on a scale of 1-10. Also, what are your most profound, personal, and/or private NBA predictions.

(Over at Cavs: The Blog today giving my interpretation of the movie Lebron recently signed to star in, Fantasy Basketball Camp.)

I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about how I write numbers.

This started late yesterday afternoon when I signed the document to your right, and took a good look at my interpretation of “22″.

What is that all about.

I’ve always known that I can swing both ways on my twos, but at worst, I thought it was a swing that took place maybe month-by-month, if not year-by-year. Never, ever, ever have I seen myself do this in an execution of a “22″.

If you have time, I’d love to see your “22″ – can you please write a “22″ and then like scan it into your computer and make a poster of it, and put that poster for sale on Amazon. Let me know when it’s up and I’ll buy one.

Also, do you think this means I’m a bad person.

This is easily the most pretentiously awesome thing I’ve ever done – please take it as it’s intended, i.e. as pretentiously awesome.

So like sorry I haven’t been around this week, but I have been really active in my social networks, so it’s not like I’m absent.

It’s interesting – like we’re in the process of building the WSM? website, but the Facebook Page is also in existence, and has everything one could want from your own page – easy to create photo galleries, video upload, message board, and more.

On top of that – and of most importance, really – the people are already there, and spreading word is as easy as one click for them. I mean, obviously you need a homepage, but does it really matter if anyone watches it there or somewhere else. I don’t think so.

I dunno – just something to think about wrt all this changing stuff de la 2009. What’s the most pretentiously awesome thing you’ve ever done on a computer.

UPDATE: I’m in surgery Friday morning, so there will likely be no post. While I’m gone, please give me your best @jerryricetwo impression about anything.

(My Shaq-to-Cavs thoughts are the first comment.)

My favorite person on Twitter, @jerryricetwo, went and saw Transformers 2 what seems to be at least 14 times yesterday, and I’ve reprinted some of his his Tweets/thoughts here.

@anguaa I BEEN AT GOBOTS 2 ALL DAY!!! LOL!!! mah tummy hurt from all dese popcorns

SHIA GO TO BOOTY COLLEGE!! LOL!!! DAT BOOTY GOBOT DOPE!!!! wanna do kissin on dat gobot

THEM GHETTO GOBOTS TRANFORM INTO BABY DADDIES?!?! WHAAAAAAAAATTT???? goin see dis again

@CraigSharp GOBOTS 2 DA BOMB!!!! LOL!!! word up bro

@cjrider HEY BRO WHERE DAT DELETED SCENE WHERE GHETTO BOTS PLAY HOOPS?!?! LOL!!! on blueray word up

@trilby_dare YO YOU WANT TO GO ON DAT KISSING DATE WIT ME

LOL!!!! brb

DEM GHETTO-BOTS DA BOOOOOMB!!! DONT GIVE DEM NO BOOKS!!! LOL!!!

KING KONG AINT GOT NOTHIN ON OPTIMUS!!!! LOL!!!! go shia get dat booty babe omg lookit DAT BOOTY smh

@cascandar YO YOU WANT TO GO ON A ICE CREAM DATE WIT ME

OMG NOW SHIA AND BOOTY BABE IN TROUBLE – GOBOTS IS MAAAAAD!!!! move yo bootys!!!! LOL!!! best movie

NOW MORE GOBOTS?!?!? LIKE FIDDY GOBOTS IN DIS MOVIE!!!!! LOL!!! denzel lovin it too

@cascandar GIMME DAT SLUSHIE IN A CUP!!! LOL!!!

SHIA LOOK OUT LOL!!!!! omg more gobots comin?????? LOL!!!!!

@19jms CHAD AINT GOT NOTHIN ON SHIA AND DEM GOBOTS!!! dis da best movie wtf

@alexiskn GIRL DIS MOVIE SOO GOOD!!! ALL DEM GOBOTS GOIN CRAZY ON DIS BOOTY BABE!!!! LOL!!! goin get mo popcorns brb

SHIA LIKE DAAAAM GOBOTS I GOIN TO CLASS NOW STEP OFF!! LOL!!! so good

@DrewGooden YO WHERE DAT MOHAWK GO??!? GIMME BACK MAH CELLY!!! missin yo birfday

I like everything he says here, although I have no idea if I agree with any of it with regard to the movie. There were lots of attractive girls at Shia’s college – that’s like so true.

Did you see Transformers 2? What do you think about Shaq-to-Cavs? Would you go on an “ice cream date” with me if asked?

(Do a nice thing for yourself and check out the first 55 pages of my book, Prelude to a Super Airplane for free by clicking here. WORD UP.)
(Follow me on Twitter here.)

Because of all this social networking, I’m having long-distance, non-consummated relationships with somewhere between six or fourteen or thirty-seven girls.

A few of these have gotten pretty serious, having gone so far as to include phone calls and going, “mmmmm-mmmmm…we’re kissing mmmmm…” into the phone.

This happens before and after the calls, but not during them. Sometimes there aren’t even phone calls at all, but still fake kissing sounds, and we text each other so we both know that it’s happening.

Anyway, one of these girls crossed the line yesterday, asking me not once, but several times, to send her pictures of myself without a shirt on. (I know she’s reading this, so like I guess this is my official response.)

Now look, I’m always game for something that might be deemed odd or hilarious, but for her this wasn’t a joke – she really wanted them, and she wouldn’t let it go.

I was just like, “No, c’mon, that’s messed up. Who does that? Don’t wreck our strange and semi-fake relationship.” Seriously though – she wouldn’t stop asking, and I finally just hung up, and then sat in the car, wondering what had gone wrong, and who I was inside, and doing long division. I slammed my hands on the steering wheel because of a stray remainder.

It was a 4.

I asked these things because I wanted to know the answers, and I ultimately decided I’m simply not a guy who feels comfortable emailing shirtless pics of himself to hot internet babe non-girlfriends.

NO MATTER WHAT.

Have you ever emailed shirtless pics of me to someone? Or maybe you emailed them to yourself from an alternate account? Have you gotten shirtless pics of anyone from someone you only know on the internet? Or maybe pics with shirts on, and you know the person in real life, and you don’t have their email address, but plan to get it maybe in a few weeks?

Do you use gmail?

Just post links to every picture you’ve ever emailed or received via email.

(Connect with me on Twitter here.)