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"Health"
Me and my sister have both been home all week, and I’ve spent most of it with a lung condition somewhere between #bronchitis and death.
Since I don’t have the strength to actually think of anything else, I just had this conversation with my aforementioned sister.
Hey Kristen, guess what my favorite key is [...]
(My turtle Jeremy is having a cereal vacation.)
Sometimes I like to play around with Google and see what I can get high rankings in.
For example, did you know I’m #1 in Google for “texts to send girls” because of this post about charming texts to send girls?
You’d be shocked [...]
When I stopped doing energy drinks because of how awful they made me feel, I needed something else to get addicted to.
The logical step in the downgrade process was Diet Coke For Men, and I did that for about a month, and now I am on Airborne, which is the most obnoxiously expensive [...]
I was doing email and got one from someone, and there was a kid inside who was jumping in leaves.
It wasn’t a real kid – that can’t happen in email.
The kid was a kid in a picture, and I looked at it and got sad, and that’s because of the time [...]
Ever since I Tweeted that I had gone to the doctor, and done a smirk with my face, and taken a picture of it, and promised to never show the picture anyone, the whole internet has been going crazy wanting to see it for free.
Here’s how this happened – every good and iconic [...]
I was having my sleep happen to me a few nights ago and when I woke up I was like, “oh man oh man what in the world”.
That was because this girl was making eggs, and they were the last eggs I had, and there were no more eggs for me.
The eggs [...]
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