I know you’re not supposed to use adverbs when you have your writing happen to you, and I am good about not doing that.

Why is my grammar so perfect and also why does it flow so [...]]]> For real, I am struggling with something, so circle your grammar wagon and let’s make a train.

I know you’re not supposed to use adverbs when you have your writing happen to you, and I am good about not doing that.

Why is my grammar so perfect and also why does it flow so well.

But no like Christian Bale, I am having a hard time with the first sentence below, because of how it reads better with the adverb than any other way.

Michael had become increasingly distant and sullen in the days leading up the Super Airplane’s Opening Ceremonies.

Michael had become distant and sullen in the days leading up the Super Airplane’s Opening Ceremonies.

Michael had become an increased form of distant and sullen in the days leading up the Super Airplane’s Opening Ceremonies.

Michael had become more and more distant and sullen in the days leading up the Super Airplane’s Opening Ceremonies.

What do you think, and also tell me, so that I can make it become part of the book, and maybe I will put your picture on the cover of the book, and you can have a little bragging moment happen to you with your mommy.

This part of the book-making process is annoying and tedious to do the writing on.

Sometimes on Google, when you type something in, the nerds who made up Google will play a fun real-time game with you, where they try to do a guess about your search.

Like if you type in “Brian” the [...]]]> I was being on Google, and that is a search engine that maybe you know about.

Sometimes on Google, when you type something in, the nerds who made up Google will play a fun real-time game with you, where they try to do a guess about your search.

Like if you type in “Brian” the first option is “Brian Spaeth shoe size” because everyone wants to know that.

I am popular in Russia and South Africa.

Another good one is what happens when you type “what does it mean”. Yep, look at that picture – what all the Russians also want to know is what “going ham” means, and hip hops, and shoulder dust, and etc.

Check out the urban dictionary definition and you can see these excerpts and more about knowing your “going ham” lingo.

You going ham tonight?
Nah, I got finals tomorrow.

Verb. To go crazy, all out, like a bro.

Joc admits most people may not even know the term’s origin.

upgrading from bologna

You aren’t supposed to go ham before a big test, because you will forget the answers.

Now I am going to type in “does Jay-Z” and see what happens. What will you type.

kareoke – The singing game where you try to sing famous songs and do beer.

calander – An odd one, because I know it’s being spelled wrong, even as I do it. I always [...]]]> rythm – There’s an extra ‘h’ in here somewhere or something. I could try this ten times and go 0-10.

kareoke – The singing game where you try to sing famous songs and do beer.

calander – An odd one, because I know it’s being spelled wrong, even as I do it. I always get it on the second try, too. Just part of the process I have to go through to type this word.

girafee – This fictional beast’s spelling has always eluded me.

uneccessary – Nobody can spell this; I don’t feel that bad about it.

mircle – Like when the clouds part and Zeus gives you a crown or makes your leg heal up faster.

I got this text message report from that girl who accused me of being such a romance hero.

Oh man.

i really want another monster lo-carb immediately. do you ever drink 2 immediately in a row like that and if i do what will happen.

Not only have I [...]]]> Look at what happened.

I got this text message report from that girl who accused me of being such a romance hero.

Oh man.

i really want another monster lo-carb immediately. do you ever drink 2 immediately in a row like that and if i do what will happen.

Not only have I made this girl be addicted to energy drinks and motel dodgeball, but now she forgot how to talktype like a normal person.

She’s even tried those Monster Nitrous ones, which even I cower in fear from.

My blog and real-life presence is so bad for you, even if it gets you free books sometimes. (I’m looking at you, and you know who you are, you three. Congratulations on that.)

Did you know that sometimes if you search “is there a cool guy who calls people on the phone and pretends to be a turtle who pretends to be Don Cheadle” in Google, it will lead you here.

Lasterday I was having a charisma gchat with a female that I know.

There’s more to the story, so just hang on.

During chat, I said something about how the idea [...]]]> (It’s nice when an ebook exclusive can still find a home on paper and with nice ribbons. Pic via @milquetoast7 – thanks!)

Lasterday I was having a charisma gchat with a female that I know.

There’s more to the story, so just hang on.

During chat, I said something about how the idea for The Christmas Bridge came from a throwaway blog post, and then this happened.

girl: you’re so utilitarian sometimes it kills me
girl: i have to go for a sec
girl: try and be here when i get back mr aloof

me: good i need a break so I can look up utilitarian
me: how do you spell it lol

The funny thing is how I’ve tried to explain to this girl how uneducated I am, but she won’t believe me. Anyway:

u·til·i·tar·i·an   
[yoo-til-i-tair-ee-uhn]
–adjective

1. pertaining to or consisting in utility.
2. having regard to utility or usefulness rather than beauty, ornamentation, etc.
3. of, pertaining to, or adhering to the doctrine of utilitarianism.

I still have no idea what it means. Am I a Communist pinko or whatever.

That would be something if yootilitaireeuhn was a real word. lol

And therein came an idea for a book called The Yootilitaireeuhn.

When I got there a weird customer at the counter was getting done telling the working girl that she should be a model and she did bulimia at that part of his creepy [...]]]> Well the truth is I’m in this Starbucks and that’s a place for buying coffee and snacks that are pretentious.

When I got there a weird customer at the counter was getting done telling the working girl that she should be a model and she did bulimia at that part of his creepy story.

Here comes the exciting part so get ready.

After I traded money for water and the water was in a bottle I sat down and did some eavesdropping on these guys and they are guys that are a couple tables down.

These are the parts that I heard and it was like this that I heard them.

hey mark how’s it going I just did a pirouette so we’re all set up

if you go to the reports tab we’re all set up

now go to quarterly tax preparation we’re all set up

go ahead to the biroway that should be set up get a screenshot of yourself so I can verify your information is correct mark

sure sure hourly rate booty what it’s ten an hour can you put that in real quick mark great tabs tabs tabs that’s the future mark i love you

Oh man this should be a whole dot com blog and that’s for sure maybe it can be called The Overheard Wrong On Purpose Businessmen Blog On the Real.

I like things that are popular and also pretty girls are another thing I like.

Do you like that same stuff if so keep reading here comes more blogs. lol

What that means is about how I think so hard about things, and emotions, and pretentious, and etc.

The part of my thinking that finally made [...]]]> I was having a thing last night where my sleep wouldn’t happen to me because of how much I was thinking about how deep I can be sometimes.

What that means is about how I think so hard about things, and emotions, and pretentious, and etc.

The part of my thinking that finally made me not be awake anymore was when I made an excitement list about all the different facts I have, and those are animal facts like you didn’t know. lol

Okay here they are for you.

four legs
lungs like people, except fish with their gills that they have
small brains
food
run fast

Another one that maybe is to think about some more is chasing, because sometimes they chase you and then vice versa if it’s in the woods and not the house.

Look out if they growl.

Okay so I don’t have any pets which is the lesson you can take home and maybe also share that at the goofster coffee house with your pals.

He is a famous guy who likes to get thank you notes in his inbox maybe is where I [...]]]> I was having a type at my qwerty keyboard after Allef’s Android Vignette App photoshoot that he was having and my typing was for an email to tell Allef thanks for coming to the photoshoot.

He is a famous guy who likes to get thank you notes in his inbox maybe is where I was coming from.

Then this happened and I told about it inside that Twitter website.

lol I was just perfectly one key to the right in typing my name all the way through and it came out Ntosm.
half a minute ago via TweetDeck

Okay well the post was going to end early because that’s all it was that was supposed to be in the post, but here is some excitement news instead.

Maybe you can imagine Buzz Lightyear is telling you the news and that will make it even more fun?

If you haven’t read the first book I wrote well I need you to go and get it for free on your Kindle or Kindle application and as long as you have a computer or phone you can get it in like two seconds just go do that here and you’ll learn how, and the way is that I’ll send you an Amazon Gift Perk Email.

Thanks I don’t ask favors at you much so boogie down productions. lol

Yesterday I was listening to some Huey Lewis and the News again like my brother is always saying to with his “hey go listen to this right now [...]]]> (This seems like a book that is for me to read for sure even though it’s about how to make your farm have modern countertops or something.)

Yesterday I was listening to some Huey Lewis and the News again like my brother is always saying to with his “hey go listen to this right now or I’ll lock you out of the house again” voice that he liked to use when we were being kids.

One of the songs is the happy-go-lucky one about how love can be so powerful and a skateboarding cool guy.

It’s one of the ones that happened in a movie and that movie was Back to Some Future.

Since I was a smaller version of me I always thought it went like this:

Chain your heart,
To a little white girl,

Even when I was that little fella I was thinking “oh man I hope Huey’s grandpa doesn’t own slaves” because that seemed weird in a way that was bad.

Well, just like with my special cucumber/pickle connection, I only did a realization moment here in my adult experience that it’s like this:

Chain your heart,
To a little white dove,

Still that’s not making all my senses click but at least it rhymes in the song now and doesn’t need the Constitution to step in.

Don’t be a grouch.

Here’s a weird thing to learn about:

The plural of roof is roofs or rooves. “Rooves” is an older form of the word and rarely used these days.

I don’t think this [...]]]> (I’d never heard of this movie before today, but based on the timeless poster and title, it seems prime for a remake.)

Here’s a weird thing to learn about:

The plural of roof is roofs or rooves. “Rooves” is an older form of the word and rarely used these days.

I don’t think this is true – this is like something someone put on the internet to trick people like me into using it.

That said, I had to look it up, so there must be something to it, right?

Further investigation brings up this lengthy thread wherein this claim is made.

People will usually say “rooftops”.

That’s weirder than “rooves” – I’m not buying that either, except on TV.

Roofs – the alleged correct word – looks like doobies. That won’t work.

I’m just not gonna do this sentence I was gonna write anymore. Why is life so hard.

@iamboney and @trilby_dare called out my blatant and unapologetic use of a question mark on Twitter the other day.

Her response especially made me laugh, and that’s a thing that I like to [...]]]> (Here’s my original post on question mark abandonment – was this really all the way back in July.)

@iamboney and @trilby_dare called out my blatant and unapologetic use of a question mark on Twitter the other day.

Her response especially made me laugh, and that’s a thing that I like to do.

Let’s clear this up – I swing both ways now.

Sometimes I use question marks, and other times I don’t.

My reasoning is erratic at best, but it has to do with my next book, where I’m experimenting in question mark methodologies like no author in recent history.

When I’ve got it sorted out, I’ll let you know.

If I buy a doggie and give it to another doggie, and then buy the second doggie and it to the first one, then free them both, who owns who?

There were no receipts in this scenario.

Hey, in case you didn’t notice @DennyMayo has joined me in my ban on question marks over in this post [...]]]> I know my blog posts haven’t been flowing forth in great number, but there’s plenty of entertainment out there. For example, I’m quite busy with Calvin Stadiums’ Facebook page.

Hey, in case you didn’t notice @DennyMayo has joined me in my ban on question marks over in this post at Waiting For Next Year, the friendly and Cleveland-centric sports blog.

Let me show you the shape of my heart. What song is that from.

This one is @caseyconan‘s. Click to see it full-size.)

Hey, so a few people have asked about this thing where I’m not using question marks anymore, and suppose I owe an explanation.

He’s got a lot of stuff out there, and if you’re looking to self-publish books, he gets mad amounts of downloads, and tracks the stats (with analysis) [...]]]> (I want to hand a post off to someone I met via Twitter a few months ago, who to me is like a Canadian force of nature.

Guy’s got some new stuff coming out, and I thought you would find it cool. You know I’m a huge baby about my personal space, therefore you also know I’m like doing being serious here. Everything after the vid is the enigmatic “MCM”.)

Hi, I’m MCM and I’m insane. Above, you can see the trailer I made for my TV show, “RollBots” (airing on the CW4Kids in September) about spherical robots in a Hot Wheels world.

I’m also writing a mystery novel called “Fission Chips” where the audience decides what happens next. If you like being a bastard, you’ll like it. I cry myself to sleep every night because of what people suggest in the polls.

My newest book is “The Vector”, about a woman trying to survive a crumbling world dominated by bio-hackers and machete-wielding Chinese agents. You can read it for free on my site, with new chapters every Monday and Wednesday. There’s lots of blood in there.

Thanks to Brian for letting me post here today. I suppose I will now have to delete those incriminating photos of him with the toga, hedge clippers, and four geisha girls from Oregon. A deal’s a deal.

(MCM is also on Twitter. On a scale of one to ten, what you would use your personal RollBot for. Also, I’ve stopped using question marks for at least the next two months. How do you feel about this.)