Brian's Thoughts About Airplanes
Brian Spaeth's Dot Com Website Blog
From the category archives:
I know my blog posts haven’t been flowing forth in great number, but there’s plenty of entertainment out there. For example, I’m quite busy with Calvin Stadiums’ Facebook page.
Hey, in case you didn’t notice @DennyMayo has joined me in my ban on question marks over in this post at Waiting For Next Year, the friendly and Cleveland-centric sports blog.
Let me show you the shape of my heart. What song is that from.
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This is easily the most pretentiously awesome thing I’ve ever done – please take it as it’s intended, i.e. as pretentiously awesome.
So like sorry I haven’t been around this week, but I have been really active in my social networks, so it’s not like I’m absent.
It’s interesting – like we’re in the process of building the WSM? website, but the Facebook Page is also in existence, and has everything one could want from your own page – easy to create photo galleries, video upload, message board, and more.
On top of that – and of most importance, really – the people are already there, and spreading word is as easy as one click for them. I mean, obviously you need a homepage, but does it really matter if anyone watches it there or somewhere else. I don’t think so.
I dunno – just something to think about wrt all this changing stuff de la 2009. What’s the most pretentiously awesome thing you’ve ever done on a computer.
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It’s simple really – make one of these for Calvin Stadiums like the amazing and talented and generous @LostJello.
Here’s a link to the full-size version.
The Who Shot Mamba? Facebook Page is up and running, although it doesn’t officially “launch” until tomorrow. Most all of the content we’re putting together for promotion – clips, trailers, etc – will be launched there first, so go join up and let the fun-having begin.
Tomorrow it’ll have the full schedule of events for WSM?. Who is your favorite person and why.
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(There’s no way the picture to your right can end well, yet I’m sure something entertaining will come out of it. She knows I think all of this, also. This is why that status update rarely happens.)
So this is the first in the 13-part series of “posts by request,” which resulted from GOt’s backlash against my content.
Whether the entire run is completed is unknown – as TVBrain pointed out, it’s simply not likely. Let’s start with Becky, my female-internet-BFF for all time.
5 questions for you, because you’d rather discuss yourself than anyone else:
Hahha this is so true. I don’t even know my girlfriend’s middle name yet, but I asked her to get mine tattooed on her forearm, under an anchor that also has my middle name on it.
1) To date, what has been your favorite memory of airplanes, or your favorite memory of thinking about airplanes, or your favorite memory of remembering thinking about airplanes?
You’re correct that my brain works in this way. I was just thinking about this one time I was on an airplane, and while I was on the airplane, I was thinking about another time I was on an airplane. Against all odds, each memory of remembering superimposes the residual memory. It’s like I’m playing telephone with myself.
2) All-Star 1-on-1 2009: who wins? You may not use LeBron James or any variation of him in your answer.
Calvin Stadiums, clearly. And Becky, why exactly haven’t you challenged him to a game in his How Badly Would Calvin Stadiums Beat You in 1-on-1? Facebook group?
Thanks for giving me that opening btw. How’d you know I’d need it when you emailed these 8 months ago…?
3) You’re allowed one cosmetic surgery for the rest of your life…until the end of time, even, and only one. One singular procedure, no “botox every 3 months once I turn 40.” What is your one chosen surgical enhancement?
Genetic Rehab and Haltation Synthesis.
This basically resets your genes to a given age of your choosing, and freezes them there. Pills and nanobots maintain it. This will actually come to pass – I believe within the next 25 years.
4) You hate dogs. Due to some zany sitcom-esque development, you have to partner up with a dog to solve mysteries and be best pals. What type of dog do you choose? What do you name him? How long until you learn to love him, learning a valuable lesson on canine loyalty and companionship? Or does this not happen unless he saves your life? Does your answer change if the dog talks
This is so funny, because I would choose these dogs:
5) Why do you cut yourself?
Teen angst.
When Genetic Rehab and Haltation Synthesis is released to the public, what age will you physically rehab yourself to and why? Will you name your nanobot, or just refer to it by its serial number?
(Follow me on Twitter here.)
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So since my surgery I haven’t been allowed to lift at all. Like, I’m not supposed to strain my face.
As such, I’m starting to get brain-slow and feel weak and soft and depressed. I can take walks, but there’s teen angst boiling up inside.
BOIL! BOIL! BOIL AND A BUBBLE! TROUBLE BUBBLE!!!
I’m allowed to hit the gym in a condensed and cautious manner a week from today – let’s hope I make it that long. And really, Calvin Stadiums is so very worthy of your attention on Facebook – this week, he’s chronicling his 2005 World Record Hot Air Balloon Ride.
I wasn’t nearly as close as it looked, but later we did get closer and I dropped the camera in the volcano to see what would happen. Since the camera melted, I could get a picture of that. Plus, a camera can’t take a picture of itself anyway. When we stopped for more fire for the balloon, I bought another camera.
Oh, also – I’ve made friends with this girl @RCAstyle on Twitter, and periodically ask her to do little artistic set-ups at her office for me. It’s pretty fun:
That one was “Write CHUCK D FOREVER on a piece of paper, and then put it on your desk next to an upside-down stapler.” The underlining was a bit of improv that I feel really improved the piece.
(Follow me on Twitter here. And follow the stupendous @alexiskn also!)
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(WHO SHOT MAMBA? is a full-length feature film I’m heavily involved with – click here for more info on this site, and here for the IMDB page.)
So WSM? is coming online in the fall – 10/13 to be exact…unless that gets bumped to 11/10, which I’m hoping it does. In either case, it’ll be split (very organically, because it was made to be) into 9 parts.
The company we’ve licensed it to will be doing all their various promo and press stuff, but I want to do everything I can to help. As you can well-on guess, social networking will play a big part in that.
Anyway, I’m gonna lay out my plan as I see it today – the things I’ll be spending time on to build a large network/platform. Then we have all kinds of fun things happen over the course of the run that generates talk, links, etc – ultimately leading people to the film.
What’s outlined below is the construction of said network.
[Like here is how to read the rest.]
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A lot of you may think everything I do online takes place right here, or on Twitter, or on Facebook, or on the secret message board I’m a part of, or at Eastham’s site, or on my other three blogs that I haven’t told you about, and the truth is, that’s all true.
What you don’t know is that in exactly zero of those places am I doing anything of substance, except for the occasional “in praise of Lost” post, or the accusatory “NBA on Twitter” thing that makes everyone upset.
Like my friend Jason and I joined this Drywall group over on Facebook, and are sharing valuable info like the following.
Brian Spaeth wrote
at 1:08pm
Just put up some up – looks great. Will paint it tomorrow with some paint.Jason Allen (Charleston, SC) wrote
at 1:16pm
How do I get rid of all of the drywall dust I have created?
I think what we can all take from this is that I’m a real jerk.
It’s not that I’m making fun of drywall enthusiasts, it’s that I want them to wonder why I would post that there. And why I’ll post this tomorrow:
Did that painting. Missing the look of the drywall. Might start over.
Or this after that:
Re-did the drywall. Broke my leg. :(
So there you go – I recommend the group – highly resourceful group of drywall pals.
Cavs in four – don’t let the onslaught of boredom induced sensationalism influence what this series really is. One team that’s ready, and one that has Rafer Alston as their point guard.
All these sweeps are odd – this has actually been the most restful part of the Cavs’ season. They’ve played eight games in a month. You’d think they weren’t even in the Playoffs.
(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)
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(This is a special post that’s all about you – the dear readers. Of course, one might even say it’s a post about me, via you.)
Old friend of YAYsports! Jordi Scrubbings wanted to interview me for his online internet website blog, so here’s how it went down. You can learn really deep, personal things therein, such as:
In my personal life, there’s nothing new, but I taught my nieces to say EASTER IN YOUR FACE whenever anyone mentions Easter, and also that everyone in Michigan is sad all the time. They just turned three, so if you ask them about Michigan, they say things like “nobody’s car starts there” or “they don’t have toys in Michigan” in really sad voices.
The bigger news is Sir Pooh de Bear is the first person to utilize the video comment function on the Disqus. This is a great way to become my favorite person.
(I assume it was easy to do – I have no idea, but I saw on 60 Minutes that they’re pushing cold fusion again, which is great news for President Keanu.)
By the way, I’m now friends on Facebook with @ColleenBurns and @alexiskn, which means I have access to all kinds of exciting and important info.
Did you know that @ColleenBurns is a fan of both the Seventy-Sixers and the Magic? She’s happy and sad and happy and sad today. Here are a few questions from my in-depth NBA Playoff preview I did with her:
3) At 6-3, I’m eligible for your dating pool, but I have a fear of dating tall girls, because if love happened and then marriage happened and then kids happened, and then those kids weren’t good at basketball, there’s a chance they’d just be 6-9 and gawky/awkward. Thoughts?
- i actually also have a fear, that 2 talls make a shortie…i have to say, it’s all a coin toss and as long as they have 2 rockin’ parents, it’s gonna be a rockin’ kid, awkward or not!
I’ve never considered this, nor have I ever referred to an un-tall person as a “shortie”. I’m inching toward the corner wherein I don’t have any kids until I can fully manipulate his genetics.
5) How do you feel about hand-holding over the internet?
LOVE IT!
Me too.
Having watched enough of everyone this weekend, it’s a Cavs-Lakers Finals, and I don’t see either one encountering a problem getting there.
Bookmark this post, and remember the following: Cavs-Magic will be the biggest case of NBA media fraud since Jordan-Drexler.
(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)
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Due to increasingly being tagged in this over on my Facesbook, and in honor of the 250th post on BTAA, here is my official “25 Things You Didn’t Know About Brian Spaeth”.
1) I don’t want anyone to know anything about me.
2) I like to be an enigma.
3) I keep secrets about myself.
4) I have a bad shoulder tattoo.
5) One time, I didn’t tell anyone anything about myself.
6) I have been known to be private.
7) I have a twin sister.
8) My twin sister won’t tell you anything about me.
9) I wrote my entire family into the first and only novel I will ever write.
10) You can get $3 off that book through Monday with this promo code: JGPTR476
11) I make a wonderful chicken dish.
12) I use Twitter.
13) My Twitter feed is becoming more useful than my blog at generating humor.
14) I had to walk a horse around in the background of CSI:NY once, and Gary Senise told me I looked scared of the horse.
15) Gary Senise can see inside my soul with regard to horses.
16) I don’t like telling people things about me.
17) I don’t like you telling people things about me.
18) I like telling things about you, as long as it doesn’t involve me.
19) I don’t want anyone to know I am yoked.
20) I once had to kiss a girl on the set of Las Vegas, and I screwed up twice on purpose because her boyfriend was there.
21) Scoop Jackson is my favorite writer at ESPN, and I don’t think he gets a fair shake.
22) I ended Gilbert Arenas’s career. (Not on purpose.)
23) I once told a tall girl we needed to reproduce for the advancement of mankind.
24) I don’t want attention drawn to me that I did not initiate in some fashion.
25) All of this said, I love being the center of attention.
Really, my book has everything you could possibly want to know about me, plus it’s all fictionalized. Why haven’t you bought it yet?
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I realize my old horse, Pencils, is an icon, okay? I’m even cool with it.
That doesn’t mean that people just get to run around doing Pencils fan fiction on Facebook, though.
Actually, I do encourage it – please send me yours.
I spent an inordinate amount of time looking through all the pictures from YAYsports! that are stored on my hard drive lasterday. This amounts to like 2000 pictures, so my ears are actually bleeding this morning.
Anyway, for some reason I got into a discussion on Twitter with JE Skeets, who does The Basketball Jones video podcast, about some old picture I had Photoshopped of him. If you were around, you may remember we used to collaborate a bit, before I quit and he ascended to corporate NBA blogger.
(Side note – the thing I’m linking to there is his write-up about the NBA adopting HORSE into its All-Star coverage.
I’m going to say this one last time – that’s so dumb. Watching people play HORSE is like watching people play video games. Why the NBA blogosphere as a whole seemed to always think this was such a great idea is beyond me.)
So we were talking about this pic of him I had Photoshopped, where he was looking up at some big picture of an NBA player with fascination. If I remember correctly, this was from when AOL sent him to the All-Star Game. I insisted I had Photoshopped him looking at Rudy Gay, while he was 100% positive, as was Becky, that it was Yao.
So I’ve looked through everything, and right here is a montage of every pic I ever did that was either named after or related to Skeets. (Why the Hey Deer banner had “Skeets” in the file name, I don’t know.)
How could we both be this wrong? I’m still positive about Rudy Gay, but I’m pretty sure he and Becky are thinking of the base picture I worked off of, which was indeed Yao.
There’s no winner here – we’ve all lost.
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