It was really cool and about this quote from this story.

“He can take this year, and look at it as a stepping stone for him as a basketball player and as a man,” Dwyane [...]]]> Part of this is a draft I wrote like 4 months ago and then did not publish.

It was really cool and about this quote from this story.

“He can take this year, and look at it as a stepping stone for him as a basketball player and as a man,” Dwyane Wade said. “He had to make a tough decision, and he made it based on what was best for him as a man.”

I am not being a critical guy when I say I do not know what it means when someone says they are doing something as a man.

He made a free agent decision – he wasn’t lifting weights or invading China or freeing the Egypts or injecting synthetic testosterone. Why is that so manly, and making him a man, and so important, and etc.

Plus, he doesn’t even like the national anthem or having people boo him when the announcer guy says his name. What a good sport. If you really think he was having a tinkle then you need a cheeseburger breakfast, if you know what I mean.

Who is a man about that, look at his non-beard.

LOL!

That opener was really just my transition into explaining the random LeBron dream I had the other night.

Myself, LeBron, and ESPN’s Bill Simmons were [...]]]> Occasionally I still pretend to be an @OrangeRoundie on Twitter and spout off about how I feel about Kobe (pictured) vs how I feel about LeBron.

That opener was really just my transition into explaining the random LeBron dream I had the other night.

Myself, LeBron, and ESPN’s Bill Simmons were seated Oprah-style in front of a live studio audience.

Not sure who was the host or whose show it was supposed to be, and it wasn’t an interview situation. It seemed to be a private conversation that was taking place in public.

LeBron was trying to explain something, and having a lot of trouble putting the words together. Bill cut him off to ask about some statistical thing – I don’t remember what.

This made LeBron more flustered, so I put one hand on Bill’s shoulder and gave him a look like, “this isn’t the time for that.”

Then I took my other hand and put it on LeBron’s knee, and was like, “go ahead.”

LeBron stood up and started reading hateful Tweets from Northeast Ohio people, and after four or five he started bawling and sobbing at the same time.

As the crowd started cheering, we had a Good Will Hunting moment. I started giving him a comfort hug, except instead of hugging him I turned into the Hulk, and that’s when I woke up.

The weirdest thing about the dream is that I was wearing a super tight Bank of America t-shirt through the whole thing, and when I turned into the Hulk, it didn’t tear at all – it just got bigger with me.

What do you think this dream means. Should I switch banks.

I’ll be going to the game tonight with Pete from Cleveland Frowns – I wrote like three different posts for his site about LeBron Returns, but none of them were focused enough to merit taking up [...]]]> I can’t actually tell you the three rules I have for LeBron, because they’re my secret life rules.

I’ll be going to the game tonight with Pete from Cleveland Frowns – I wrote like three different posts for his site about LeBron Returns, but none of them were focused enough to merit taking up internet space.

Anyway, last time I was in town, we also went to a game, and the ever-great @MayKat33 made us this:

This game should be fun, which something none of the holier-than-though columnists of America have bothered to touch on.

Hopefully there are more artistic representations of me attending games, and cool hats, and yelling, and etc.

I’ll be on Twitter for when the game is being a game and then probably when it’s done being a game. Also beforehand, while I’m driving.

After all this, I get it.

And yes, I watched last night. (I happen to be back in Cleveland for a few days, as well.)

From my Twitter:

Just spontaneously applauded a Boston [...]]]> I know there are people dying to know – still – what I think about the NBA.

After all this, I get it.

And yes, I watched last night. (I happen to be back in Cleveland for a few days, as well.)

From my Twitter:

Just spontaneously applauded a Boston team. What planet am I on.
via Twitter for Android

From my Facebook:

Cavs win over Celtics tonight is verified proof of the basketball gods.
via Facebook for Android

Look how cool that is with my Android apps.

I like to take cool pictures that are neat with my Android phone and inside the phone there’s the Vignette App and it lives in the phone and makes your pictures have different ways they can become pictures.

One of [...]]]> Here comes some technology for you to have fun learning about and also some art.

I like to take cool pictures that are neat with my Android phone and inside the phone there’s the Vignette App and it lives in the phone and makes your pictures have different ways they can become pictures.

One of the ways is a setting that is called “Action Movie” which for sure is the one for me and this is how it works. First I did a button push to make this picture have its birthday.

It seemed pretty good but then I put the dial on the Action Movie setting and it transformered the picture a little, and then even more it gobotted the picture and then here’s what I got.

This guy isn’t getting his cap sunburned either – keep those glasses on!

Also here is one with the Romance setting.

The 23 is for Michael Jordan and how he is a real-deal alpha dawg with courage about how to make his legacy appear.

I got it – it was done – it didn’t hurt that bad. The guy who did it thought I was nuts.

This preview you’re looking at was not done in Photoshop, but in some Android app that makes [...]]]> This is a little sneak preview of my proposed re-do on my shoulder tattoo.

I got it – it was done – it didn’t hurt that bad. The guy who did it thought I was nuts.

This preview you’re looking at was not done in Photoshop, but in some Android app that makes your picture into either olde-tymey or Warhol or whatever you want to do.

It’s not perfect, but you can do interesting things with your phone on the go? LOL!

So you may remember something happened to the Cavs that made them have a 2010 loss for their Playoffs.

I’ve written like six posts on this and never published any of them – the torment and angst were just a little too negative for the website blog. (It’s broadband now – click the link.)

Luckily, I owed a favor to Cleveland Frowns dot com – if you’ve been wondering what my CLE-based (LeBron) basketball thoughts were made of, it’s all right here, in classic YAYsports! NBA style.

Also, I’ve finally zeroed in on one book to write – I’ve started like three this year, but none got past a third of the way done. (I did consider putting out all three thirds as some kind of gimmick book about thirds of books.)

One of them decided it wanted to get done, though. Here’s an excerpt piece that’s part of it.

This was the truth, and Jesi knew it was crazy and whack to tell the truth right then, but he was crunk and never lied. He was just like James K. Polk, who was a great President. Maybe even the best one, so think on that one.

It made me think while writing this post English is maybe not for me anymore?

Good-bye until the next time a blog post is new for you.

“When you beat me at something, I feel a tangible need to stay up all night smashing things.” [...]]]> Twitter has a way to get embed code for Tweets now.

Also, new Bell Biv Devoe album!

mmh : /

I already mentioned what follows on a podcast I did with old tyme Roundie Henchman Ben Cox, but it bears repeating.

Basically, my biggest fear about the Playoffs, Free Agency 2010, and LeBron.

It’s not losing. We of [...]]]> (This picture is a special sneak preview of the post you’re about to read.)

I already mentioned what follows on a podcast I did with old tyme Roundie Henchman Ben Cox, but it bears repeating.

Basically, my biggest fear about the Playoffs, Free Agency 2010, and LeBron.

It’s not losing. We of Cleveland fandom have done it before, in the most heartbreaking ways possible.

Nor is it LeBron leaving, win or lose. I’m at peace with that.

If it happens, it’s because he wants to live somewhere else, and nothing can stop that. The Cavs organization is first class in every way and the best basketball situation, as well.

This fear is not even the Cavs winning the title, and the unsettling loss of identity that will accompany it.

No, my biggest fear is the combination of the Cavs winning and the city going completely overboard in terms of celebration and honors.

I don’t mean riots or parades – those will be fun and I’ll be flying in for them.

I’m talking about putting up LeBron statues immediately, retiring #23 when he switches to #6, renaming roads and buildings after him, etc.

Please wait until he retires.

With the dearth of joy around CLE’s other sports teams, the general inexperience with winning, and the “we must romance him for free agency” factor…it’s scary.

Don’t forget, this is the city that allowed Jacob’s Field to have “Era of Champions” on the outfield wall to celebrate the multiple Central Division titles.

(If you need the full 45 minutes of podcasting action – they cut all my turtlecalls.com talk – you can get that here.)

What’s interesting is all the monster truck Fatheads they already had in the office, and how those monster trucks drive around on the walls on their own – click to [...]]]> (Here’s Zack K’s Dick Vitale Fathead action, as well as Zack himself, enhancing that action by also doing some hand-and-smile action of his own.

What’s interesting is all the monster truck Fatheads they already had in the office, and how those monster trucks drive around on the walls on their own – click to see full size.)

If you didn’t watch the Cavaliers-Celtics game yesterday, I don’t know how much sense this will make.

Short version is the Cavs – after a huge comeback – were down two with very little time left.

In a dream scenario, LeBron James suddenly had a 1-on-2 fast break.

Now, having watched 95% of LeBron’s career games, I can tell you that when LeBron is trucking along in this situation, there are only three results:

1) They wrap him up and foul him, sending him to the foul line.
2) They try to wrap him up and foul him, but LeBron drags them along, scores, and gets the foul.
3) They get out of the way and LeBron scores.

As you may note, provided he doesn’t inexplicably pull up for an ill-advised three-pointer, there was a 100% chance LeBron could’ve had a chance to tie that game up or even go ahead.

Of course, instead he pulled up for the inexplicable three. Scary stuff.

Hey, all of these are available if you want to start a bad schtick-laden sports blog:

lebronforthree.com
ohgodlebron.com
whylebronwhy.com
lebronjamesshirtless.com
nolebronno.com

I’m not sure about that last one, since it’s so open to confusion with No LeBronno!, the popular children’s cooking show from New Mexico.

As to LebronShirtless.com, I get regular daily traffic off people looking for some variation of “LeBron shirtless”, so you may just want to get that and then make a website and become popular.

I don’t remember my point.

Also, this post was edited, cause it was even worse before, if you can believe that.)

So I’ve been on a few airplane rides over the past week, and on the longest of them, I spent time sitting with a [...]]]> (This is my current phone b/g – I am all in on CLE basketball.

Also, this post was edited, cause it was even worse before, if you can believe that.)

So I’ve been on a few airplane rides over the past week, and on the longest of them, I spent time sitting with a girl who spilled whiskey on my leg.

She was a lot of fun, I asked if I could call her Sara, and we became best friends for 4+ hours.

We told our cool stories about our lives, and analyzed the personae of everyone around us in the most stereotypical manner possible.

After a bunch of time doing that, it was the part of the airplane ride where Sara spilled the whiskey on my leg.

I screamed, “OH NO THERE’S WHISKEY ON MY LEG!” over and over until the airplane waiter came back and asked what was wrong.

I repeated, “Oh no…there’s whiskey on my leg…” except quiet and sad this time, so Sara could see the different kind of inflections I could make my voice do.

So upon return from my big-time Twitter/Facebook/whatever hiatus, the question becomes, “what now?”

To answer this question, I need to make a bullet-point list, and then put the bullets in little digital disguises that make them look like numbers.

For example, take these bullet-points:

*
*
(I fully support the picture to the right.)

So upon return from my big-time Twitter/Facebook/whatever hiatus, the question becomes, “what now?”

To answer this question, I need to make a bullet-point list, and then put the bullets in little digital disguises that make them look like numbers.

For example, take these bullet-points:

*
*
*

Once I’ve finished getting their espionage clothes on them, they’ll look more like this:

1)
2)
3)

You see?

As the alleged numbers explain the positives and negatives behind why I should and/or should not be an avidly aggressive Tweeter, nobody will even know that they’re really bullet-points, and that’s how the logic starts to come into place?

Anyway, in the two weeks I was gone, I wrote a complete screenplay, two full movie treatments, did good on the other thing I do, and got in six fewer I’m-Tweeting-while-driving based car wrecks.

Take that for what you will, and please let me know where to buy little hats for those bullets, because that will look so cool on them when they’re doing their spy work.

1) They don’t care much about the NBA.

2) If you’d asked me before looking at this where Wyoming was, I don’t think I could’ve pointed it out without using process of elimination.

3) I can’t name one city in Wyoming.

4) I’ve [...]]]> Some Wyoming trivia/realizations based on this screengrab from an ESPN.com poll:

1) They don’t care much about the NBA.

2) If you’d asked me before looking at this where Wyoming was, I don’t think I could’ve pointed it out without using process of elimination.

3) I can’t name one city in Wyoming.

4) I’ve not known anyone who has lived in, visited, driven through, knew about, or thought about Wyoming.

5) Looking at this map – and I don’t know if I’m just outside my own head right now or what – it just doesn’t feel like Wyoming is a real state.

This isn’t meant as an assault on this fictional place or the two people who pretend to live there – these are real thoughts I had while waiting for this Stoudemire-to-Cavs trade to happen.

I know it’s like the “blog thing to do” to bash ESPN’s Bill Simmons, and I don’t come here to do that today expressly.

Say what you will about him, but I’ve come to quite like his podcast – he has interesting [...]]]> (I blatantly re-purposed this Photoshop job from my old website, sorry.)

I know it’s like the “blog thing to do” to bash ESPN’s Bill Simmons, and I don’t come here to do that today expressly.

Say what you will about him, but I’ve come to quite like his podcast – he has interesting guests and there’s an enthusiasm and casualness to it I like.

He’s also fairly aware he maybe needs to step back from the NBA trade machine a bit – he freely admits his craziest trade suggestions are indeed crazy at times.

However, on his show with JA Adande the other day, he was totally serious (it seemed) in his opinion that the best basketball situations for LeBron to go to are Chicago and the LA Clippers.

Not only that, but he completely discounted the Cavs as anything more than a remote possibility.

Now, while I’m a Cleveland fan to the end, I’m freely willing to admit LeBron may leave, and that he’ll certainly visit every single team in the NBA on his free agent tour this summer.

Looking purely at it from a basketball standpoint though…let’s look at the Cavs.

- Best record in the NBA
- Built-in chemistry/continuity
- Defensive-minded coach
- Brand-new practice facility
- Big expiring contracts
- One of the few teams that are profitable
- Owner willing to spend whatever it takes

You could go down the list with both Chicago and LAC, and they’re the opposite of what the Cavs have in many cases.

LeBron’s gonna go play for Mike Dunleavey on the most cursed, cheap, and poorly run organization in sports? I can’t even see how that’s a rational argument at all, basing it purely on basketball.

And Chicago? Does LeBron really want his legacy to be having every single thing ever written about him forever be even more of a comparison to Michael Jordan?

Even adding in marketing, he’s fine in Cleveland.

With the new McDonald’s deal, he’s got all the big sponsor segments except a car company.

He’s got a TV show in development. He’s had a feature documentary out. He has a deal to star in LeBron’s Fantasy Basketball Camp Begins.

Look, he’s conquered America, and this doesn’t even take into account that Cleveland is close to home, the Cavs can pay him the most money, and also have a minority owner from China, which is actually a bigger market than LA and NYC. (!!!)

In conclusion, I’m sure this has been written 50 times elsewhere already, but I didn’t even know Stephon Marbury was playing in China, so there you go.

(WSM? ends tonight – if you missed the first half of the big Sherman-Stadiums showdown…here. Aw, lookit Petey Skippen getting his chance to shine!)

Brad says he’s been getting all [...]]]> I was gonna make a big deal about like doing a big redesign on the site for 2010, but realized I like the thing how it is. All I did was move the links for my books up a notch and add a page about the Radby book.

Brad says he’s been getting all this email asking “wtf” about whether he’s a real person or a fake person or a cartoon person, so I felt a need to clarify things.

The big news for 2010 is that I’ve found myself kinda into the NBA again. The Cavaliers are quietly playing quite well after a bumpy start, and there just seems to be lots of interesting things going on.

I get intrigued by things like Tracy McGrady having his sadness again and Gilbert Arenas being unable to shake the Curse of the Mamba.

In any case…some IM action, in lieu of actual content.

Brian: Why are you awake
Girl: Lol…sorry.
Brian: : /
Girl: : /
Brian: Have you ever had the cereal Blue Crunchos
Girl: I have noto. Is it tasty
Brian: Yeah and even crunchier than it sounds
Girl: Oh wow
Brian: Yeah
Girl: Cool well I’m glad we talked about that brian
Brian: Me too
Girl: Bye
Brian: Can I put this on my blog it is making me laugh

Also I’ve eaten two full boxes of Cold-Eeze in the past 48 hours.

Who Shot Mamba? Chapter 6 sometime tonight – keep an eye on the FB Page.

Also, Calvin Stadiums has been blogging over at Yardbarker for a couple weeks now, and look for some Who Shot Mamba? blooper reels on the Facebook Page this week.)

Some years back my mom started [...]]]> (Yes, I’m excited about the Google Phone. Rumored January release and supported by T-Mobile for once.

Also, Calvin Stadiums has been blogging over at Yardbarker for a couple weeks now, and look for some Who Shot Mamba? blooper reels on the Facebook Page this week.)

Some years back my mom started sending those “here’s what everyone is up to” letters with her Merry Christmas cards.

I immediately insisted on control over any part of the content that referenced me, so each December I submit my own section for her to include.

(My brother does this too – perhaps he can post the 2009 edition, as his are excellent.)

Alas, this is what I sent her over the weekend.

I’m still writing and acting and producing and trying to get new projects together.

I’ve never touched a guitar before. Also, I stopped using question marks this year for awhile. Isn’t that weird.

Oops! Lost my car keys again! LOL

Do you use gmail?

Your pal,
Brian Spaeth

P.S. My sole goal in writing this was to have my mother say something like, “I am not sending this!” and I guarantee she did exactly that after I emailed it to her.

Sent via my Blackberri Tornado II From T-Marbles
Movie – www.whoshotmamba.com
Twitter – www.twitter.com/brianspaeth
Facebook – www.facebook.com/brianspaeth
Website – www.brian23.com

P.P.S. Mom, make sure to include these links, cause like that’s part of the joke for this section of the letter.

P.P.P.S Also include all of these PS’s – including this one. These are also part of the joke.

P.P.P.P.S. Sorry for not taking your Merry Christmas Letter 2010 seriously. :(

I have to admit, I can’t see a day where I ever send Christmas cards or letters of any kind myself.

Like I get them from friends of mine who are married already, and I’m always thinking, “Why did you send me this and why is it signed The Jones Family? I don’t know what one of those is – why don’t you just email or call me? Yeah, I know I don’t answer my phone ever, but why did you get married?”

Do you or your family send these type of Christmas letters? Do you send Christmas cards? Do you believe in Merry Christmas Trees and why.

Here’s my big problem with the 2009-10 NBA season – why didn’t LeBron’s people get on Sports Illustrated about how they picked an image that made him look kinda wimpy for their cover issue.

I bought both these mags, but haven’t cracked either one – probably won’t. That’s okay – it’s the thought [...]]]>

Here’s my big problem with the 2009-10 NBA season – why didn’t LeBron’s people get on Sports Illustrated about how they picked an image that made him look kinda wimpy for their cover issue.

I bought both these mags, but haven’t cracked either one – probably won’t. That’s okay – it’s the thought that counts, plus it’s Cavs over Lakers in the Finals, provided Shaq can stay healthy and Delonte West isn’t locked up somewhere.

I feel so confident in this prediction that I’ll even admit I accidentally typed “Lakers over Cavs” in the previous sentence before I caught myself.

Also, not to bring up old wounds, but can we finally all agree that Joe Dumars isn’t that great of a GM. @iamboney confirmed that the big-money Detroit free agents are coming off the bench.

Anyone could’ve told Joe – and many people did – that those guys are perfect 4th scoring options on a good team.

Now to the important stuff, and in conclusion – here’s some IM action from lasterday. “Girl” is totally her real name, as well.

Brian: Ilu
Girl: Ok omg. Ilu2. Byeee
Brian: Lol
Girl: Don’t laugh at meee
Brian: : /
Girl: Ughhh
Girl: A-hole
Brian: Thx ttyl
Girl: I threw up lol
Brian: Lol can I put part of this on my blog if I don’t say it’s you lolol

NBA NBA NBA NBA NBA

How ready are you on a scale of 1-10. Also, what are your most profound, personal, and/or private NBA predictions.

Instead, I made this list of actual pieces of commercial media and entertainment that have made me produce tears, be they sadness tears or happiness tears.

Say what you want about the Cavs – you gotta remember that after LeBron’s mailed-in 2007 season, I don’t live-and-die by professional basketball anymore.

Last night was somewhat circular, since it looked like a game right out of LeBron’s [...]]]> (If any of you were wondering, this was Allef’s final act of the season.)

Say what you want about the Cavs – you gotta remember that after LeBron’s mailed-in 2007 season, I don’t live-and-die by professional basketball anymore.

Last night was somewhat circular, since it looked like a game right out of LeBron’s 2007 season. “wtf” sums up my thoughts.

Other than the new puppet commercial with the kid from downstairs, this is the best thing to happen all night, and I said it.

I just saw an NBA headline that said “Tracy McGrady has surgery on whole body”.
about 9 hours ago from web

Congrats to the Orlando contingent of @alexiskn, @ColleenBurns, and @jabberjim.

If one or all of you can manage to get Shaq’s nickname back for him, that’d be great. Dwight’s a good guy, but he’s young – I don’t think he understands what he’s done here.

I actually cringe when they play the theme during the game. This is becoming a major blemish on some otherwise impossibly rounded shoulders.

Final note on the season – @ColleenBurns won the contest, because she sent me pictures AND called me after the game.

That’s how you get that trophy!

@alexiskn came in second because she’s a cute girl, and @jabberjim was disqualified because he’s a dude. There are no prizes for anyone.

Word up – let’s hear it for Dwight and LeBron rooming together at big man’s camp this summer. I’m available for jump-hook consults.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here – it’s available in paperback, or iPhone/Kindle for only 1.99.)