Here comes some technology for you to have fun learning about and also some art.

I like to take cool pictures that are neat with my Android phone and inside the phone there’s the Vignette App and it lives in the phone and makes your pictures have different ways they can become pictures.

One of the ways is a setting that is called “Action Movie” which for sure is the one for me and this is how it works. First I did a button push to make this picture have its birthday.

It seemed pretty good but then I put the dial on the Action Movie setting and it transformered the picture a little, and then even more it gobotted the picture and then here’s what I got.

This guy isn’t getting his cap sunburned either – keep those glasses on!

Also here is one with the Romance setting.

The 23 is for Michael Jordan and how he is a real-deal alpha dawg with courage about how to make his legacy appear.

This is a little sneak preview of my proposed re-do on my shoulder tattoo.

I got it – it was done – it didn’t hurt that bad. The guy who did it thought I was nuts.

This preview you’re looking at was not done in Photoshop, but in some Android app that makes your picture into either olde-tymey or Warhol or whatever you want to do.

It’s not perfect, but you can do interesting things with your phone on the go? LOL!

So you may remember something happened to the Cavs that made them have a 2010 loss for their Playoffs.

I’ve written like six posts on this and never published any of them – the torment and angst were just a little too negative for the website blog. (It’s broadband now – click the link.)

Luckily, I owed a favor to Cleveland Frowns dot com – if you’ve been wondering what my CLE-based (LeBron) basketball thoughts were made of, it’s all right here, in classic YAYsports! NBA style.

Also, I’ve finally zeroed in on one book to write – I’ve started like three this year, but none got past a third of the way done. (I did consider putting out all three thirds as some kind of gimmick book about thirds of books.)

One of them decided it wanted to get done, though. Here’s an excerpt piece that’s part of it.

This was the truth, and Jesi knew it was crazy and whack to tell the truth right then, but he was crunk and never lied. He was just like James K. Polk, who was a great President. Maybe even the best one, so think on that one.

It made me think while writing this post English is maybe not for me anymore?

Good-bye until the next time a blog post is new for you.

Twitter has a way to get embed code for Tweets now.

Also, new Bell Biv Devoe album!

This post was heavily edited – it used to be like 7-800 words. That’s seven (7) to eight hundred (800).

mmh : /

(This picture is a special sneak preview of the post you’re about to read.)

I already mentioned what follows on a podcast I did with old tyme Roundie Henchman Ben Cox, but it bears repeating.

Basically, my biggest fear about the Playoffs, Free Agency 2010, and LeBron.

It’s not losing. We of Cleveland fandom have done it before, in the most heartbreaking ways possible.

Nor is it LeBron leaving, win or lose. I’m at peace with that.

If it happens, it’s because he wants to live somewhere else, and nothing can stop that. The Cavs organization is first class in every way and the best basketball situation, as well.

This fear is not even the Cavs winning the title, and the unsettling loss of identity that will accompany it.

No, my biggest fear is the combination of the Cavs winning and the city going completely overboard in terms of celebration and honors.

I don’t mean riots or parades – those will be fun and I’ll be flying in for them.

I’m talking about putting up LeBron statues immediately, retiring #23 when he switches to #6, renaming roads and buildings after him, etc.

Please wait until he retires.

With the dearth of joy around CLE’s other sports teams, the general inexperience with winning, and the “we must romance him for free agency” factor…it’s scary.

Don’t forget, this is the city that allowed Jacob’s Field to have “Era of Champions” on the outfield wall to celebrate the multiple Central Division titles.

(If you need the full 45 minutes of podcasting action – they cut all my turtlecalls.com talk – you can get that here.)

(Here’s Zack K’s Dick Vitale Fathead action, as well as Zack himself, enhancing that action by also doing some hand-and-smile action of his own.

What’s interesting is all the monster truck Fatheads they already had in the office, and how those monster trucks drive around on the walls on their own – click to see full size.)

If you didn’t watch the Cavaliers-Celtics game yesterday, I don’t know how much sense this will make.

Short version is the Cavs – after a huge comeback – were down two with very little time left.

In a dream scenario, LeBron James suddenly had a 1-on-2 fast break.

Now, having watched 95% of LeBron’s career games, I can tell you that when LeBron is trucking along in this situation, there are only three results:

1) They wrap him up and foul him, sending him to the foul line.
2) They try to wrap him up and foul him, but LeBron drags them along, scores, and gets the foul.
3) They get out of the way and LeBron scores.

As you may note, provided he doesn’t inexplicably pull up for an ill-advised three-pointer, there was a 100% chance LeBron could’ve had a chance to tie that game up or even go ahead.

Of course, instead he pulled up for the inexplicable three. Scary stuff.

Hey, all of these are available if you want to start a bad schtick-laden sports blog:

lebronforthree.com
ohgodlebron.com
whylebronwhy.com
lebronjamesshirtless.com
nolebronno.com

I’m not sure about that last one, since it’s so open to confusion with No LeBronno!, the popular children’s cooking show from New Mexico.

As to LebronShirtless.com, I get regular daily traffic off people looking for some variation of “LeBron shirtless”, so you may just want to get that and then make a website and become popular.

I don’t remember my point.

(This is my current phone b/g – I am all in on CLE basketball.

Also, this post was edited, cause it was even worse before, if you can believe that.)

So I’ve been on a few airplane rides over the past week, and on the longest of them, I spent time sitting with a girl who spilled whiskey on my leg.

She was a lot of fun, I asked if I could call her Sara, and we became best friends for 4+ hours.

We told our cool stories about our lives, and analyzed the personae of everyone around us in the most stereotypical manner possible.

After a bunch of time doing that, it was the part of the airplane ride where Sara spilled the whiskey on my leg.

I screamed, “OH NO THERE’S WHISKEY ON MY LEG!” over and over until the airplane waiter came back and asked what was wrong.

I repeated, “Oh no…there’s whiskey on my leg…” except quiet and sad this time, so Sara could see the different kind of inflections I could make my voice do.

(I fully support the picture to the right.)

So upon return from my big-time Twitter/Facebook/whatever hiatus, the question becomes, “what now?”

To answer this question, I need to make a bullet-point list, and then put the bullets in little digital disguises that make them look like numbers.

For example, take these bullet-points:

*
*
*

Once I’ve finished getting their espionage clothes on them, they’ll look more like this:

1)
2)
3)

You see?

As the alleged numbers explain the positives and negatives behind why I should and/or should not be an avidly aggressive Tweeter, nobody will even know that they’re really bullet-points, and that’s how the logic starts to come into place?

Anyway, in the two weeks I was gone, I wrote a complete screenplay, two full movie treatments, did good on the other thing I do, and got in six fewer I’m-Tweeting-while-driving based car wrecks.

Take that for what you will, and please let me know where to buy little hats for those bullets, because that will look so cool on them when they’re doing their spy work.

Some Wyoming trivia/realizations based on this screengrab from an ESPN.com poll:

1) They don’t care much about the NBA.

2) If you’d asked me before looking at this where Wyoming was, I don’t think I could’ve pointed it out without using process of elimination.

3) I can’t name one city in Wyoming.

4) I’ve not known anyone who has lived in, visited, driven through, knew about, or thought about Wyoming.

5) Looking at this map – and I don’t know if I’m just outside my own head right now or what – it just doesn’t feel like Wyoming is a real state.

This isn’t meant as an assault on this fictional place or the two people who pretend to live there – these are real thoughts I had while waiting for this Stoudemire-to-Cavs trade to happen.

(I blatantly re-purposed this Photoshop job from my old website, sorry.)

I know it’s like the “blog thing to do” to bash ESPN’s Bill Simmons, and I don’t come here to do that today expressly.

Say what you will about him, but I’ve come to quite like his podcast – he has interesting guests and there’s an enthusiasm and casualness to it I like.

He’s also fairly aware he maybe needs to step back from the NBA trade machine a bit – he freely admits his craziest trade suggestions are indeed crazy at times.

However, on his show with JA Adande the other day, he was totally serious (it seemed) in his opinion that the best basketball situations for LeBron to go to are Chicago and the LA Clippers.

Not only that, but he completely discounted the Cavs as anything more than a remote possibility.

Now, while I’m a Cleveland fan to the end, I’m freely willing to admit LeBron may leave, and that he’ll certainly visit every single team in the NBA on his free agent tour this summer.

Looking purely at it from a basketball standpoint though…let’s look at the Cavs.

- Best record in the NBA
- Built-in chemistry/continuity
- Defensive-minded coach
- Brand-new practice facility
- Big expiring contracts
- One of the few teams that are profitable
- Owner willing to spend whatever it takes

You could go down the list with both Chicago and LAC, and they’re the opposite of what the Cavs have in many cases.

LeBron’s gonna go play for Mike Dunleavey on the most cursed, cheap, and poorly run organization in sports? I can’t even see how that’s a rational argument at all, basing it purely on basketball.

And Chicago? Does LeBron really want his legacy to be having every single thing ever written about him forever be even more of a comparison to Michael Jordan?

Even adding in marketing, he’s fine in Cleveland.

With the new McDonald’s deal, he’s got all the big sponsor segments except a car company.

He’s got a TV show in development. He’s had a feature documentary out. He has a deal to star in LeBron’s Fantasy Basketball Camp Begins.

Look, he’s conquered America, and this doesn’t even take into account that Cleveland is close to home, the Cavs can pay him the most money, and also have a minority owner from China, which is actually a bigger market than LA and NYC. (!!!)

In conclusion, I’m sure this has been written 50 times elsewhere already, but I didn’t even know Stephon Marbury was playing in China, so there you go.

(WSM? ends tonight – if you missed the first half of the big Sherman-Stadiums showdown…here. Aw, lookit Petey Skippen getting his chance to shine!)

I was gonna make a big deal about like doing a big redesign on the site for 2010, but realized I like the thing how it is. All I did was move the links for my books up a notch and add a page about the Radby book.

Brad says he’s been getting all this email asking “wtf” about whether he’s a real person or a fake person or a cartoon person, so I felt a need to clarify things.

The big news for 2010 is that I’ve found myself kinda into the NBA again. The Cavaliers are quietly playing quite well after a bumpy start, and there just seems to be lots of interesting things going on.

I get intrigued by things like Tracy McGrady having his sadness again and Gilbert Arenas being unable to shake the Curse of the Mamba.

In any case…some IM action, in lieu of actual content.

Brian: Why are you awake
Girl: Lol…sorry.
Brian: : /
Girl: : /
Brian: Have you ever had the cereal Blue Crunchos
Girl: I have noto. Is it tasty
Brian: Yeah and even crunchier than it sounds
Girl: Oh wow
Brian: Yeah
Girl: Cool well I’m glad we talked about that brian
Brian: Me too
Girl: Bye
Brian: Can I put this on my blog it is making me laugh

Also I’ve eaten two full boxes of Cold-Eeze in the past 48 hours.

Who Shot Mamba? Chapter 6 sometime tonight – keep an eye on the FB Page.

(Yes, I’m excited about the Google Phone. Rumored January release and supported by T-Mobile for once.

Also, Calvin Stadiums has been blogging over at Yardbarker for a couple weeks now, and look for some Who Shot Mamba? blooper reels on the Facebook Page this week.)

Some years back my mom started sending those “here’s what everyone is up to” letters with her Merry Christmas cards.

I immediately insisted on control over any part of the content that referenced me, so each December I submit my own section for her to include.

(My brother does this too – perhaps he can post the 2009 edition, as his are excellent.)

Alas, this is what I sent her over the weekend.

I’m still writing and acting and producing and trying to get new projects together.

I’ve never touched a guitar before. Also, I stopped using question marks this year for awhile. Isn’t that weird.

Oops! Lost my car keys again! LOL

Do you use gmail?

Your pal,
Brian Spaeth

P.S. My sole goal in writing this was to have my mother say something like, “I am not sending this!” and I guarantee she did exactly that after I emailed it to her.

Sent via my Blackberri Tornado II From T-Marbles
Movie – www.whoshotmamba.com
Twitter – www.twitter.com/brianspaeth
Facebook – www.facebook.com/brianspaeth
Website – www.brian23.com

P.P.S. Mom, make sure to include these links, cause like that’s part of the joke for this section of the letter.

P.P.P.S Also include all of these PS’s – including this one. These are also part of the joke.

P.P.P.P.S. Sorry for not taking your Merry Christmas Letter 2010 seriously. :(

I have to admit, I can’t see a day where I ever send Christmas cards or letters of any kind myself.

Like I get them from friends of mine who are married already, and I’m always thinking, “Why did you send me this and why is it signed The Jones Family? I don’t know what one of those is – why don’t you just email or call me? Yeah, I know I don’t answer my phone ever, but why did you get married?”

Do you or your family send these type of Christmas letters? Do you send Christmas cards? Do you believe in Merry Christmas Trees and why.

Here’s my big problem with the 2009-10 NBA season – why didn’t LeBron’s people get on Sports Illustrated about how they picked an image that made him look kinda wimpy for their cover issue.

I bought both these mags, but haven’t cracked either one – probably won’t. That’s okay – it’s the thought that counts, plus it’s Cavs over Lakers in the Finals, provided Shaq can stay healthy and Delonte West isn’t locked up somewhere.

I feel so confident in this prediction that I’ll even admit I accidentally typed “Lakers over Cavs” in the previous sentence before I caught myself.

Also, not to bring up old wounds, but can we finally all agree that Joe Dumars isn’t that great of a GM. @iamboney confirmed that the big-money Detroit free agents are coming off the bench.

Anyone could’ve told Joe – and many people did – that those guys are perfect 4th scoring options on a good team.

Now to the important stuff, and in conclusion – here’s some IM action from lasterday. “Girl” is totally her real name, as well.

Brian: Ilu
Girl: Ok omg. Ilu2. Byeee
Brian: Lol
Girl: Don’t laugh at meee
Brian: : /
Girl: Ughhh
Girl: A-hole
Brian: Thx ttyl
Girl: I threw up lol
Brian: Lol can I put part of this on my blog if I don’t say it’s you lolol

NBA NBA NBA NBA NBA

How ready are you on a scale of 1-10. Also, what are your most profound, personal, and/or private NBA predictions.

I was thinking about having a good cry the other day, and then because my actoring is a bit rusty, decided to wait, and not do that thing.

Instead, I made this list of actual pieces of commercial media and entertainment that have made me produce tears, be they sadness tears or happiness tears.

BOOKS:
Catcher in the Rye (Like when he catches the rye finally. I think it’s a metaphor -)
Of Mice and Men (When Lenny does his dying.)

MOVIES:
Armageddon (When BW’s friend who has the kid runs up to the kid when they get back to Earf.)
The Grapes of Wrath (The end.)
Wall-E – A couple times.
The Incredibles – When Dash finally lets loose in the jungle.
Team America – I literally was crying with laughing the first time “AMERICA – F–K YEAH!” played.
The Iron Giant – Twice.
Big Fish – the end.
Field of Dream – duh.

TV SHOWS:
Lost (End of last season – I was just overwhelmed in general at the end.)

MUSIC:
N/A

SPORTS:
Cavs (Too many to list – last time was when they finally got to the Finals – Game 6 vs Pistons in 07.)
Browns (First game back in Cleveland in 1999.)
Indians (When they got to the 95 World Series.)

BLOGS:
Both Teams Played Hard (Just now.)

I’m sure there are more – but this is all I can think of right now. I’m sure some music must have made me cry, but I dunno. What commercial fare has made you shed tears the most, and why do you think it did that.

(Go join the WSM? Facebook Page – it’ll be the only place to see the first teaser…on Sept 1.)

(If any of you were wondering, this was Allef’s final act of the season.)

Say what you want about the Cavs – you gotta remember that after LeBron’s mailed-in 2007 season, I don’t live-and-die by professional basketball anymore.

Last night was somewhat circular, since it looked like a game right out of LeBron’s 2007 season. “wtf” sums up my thoughts.

Other than the new puppet commercial with the kid from downstairs, this is the best thing to happen all night, and I said it.

I just saw an NBA headline that said “Tracy McGrady has surgery on whole body”.
about 9 hours ago from web

Congrats to the Orlando contingent of @alexiskn, @ColleenBurns, and @jabberjim.

If one or all of you can manage to get Shaq’s nickname back for him, that’d be great. Dwight’s a good guy, but he’s young – I don’t think he understands what he’s done here.

I actually cringe when they play the theme during the game. This is becoming a major blemish on some otherwise impossibly rounded shoulders.

Final note on the season – @ColleenBurns won the contest, because she sent me pictures AND called me after the game.

That’s how you get that trophy!

@alexiskn came in second because she’s a cute girl, and @jabberjim was disqualified because he’s a dude. There are no prizes for anyone.

Word up – let’s hear it for Dwight and LeBron rooming together at big man’s camp this summer. I’m available for jump-hook consults.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here – it’s available in paperback, or iPhone/Kindle for only 1.99.)

Here’s another quiz that came in from a Prelude to a Super Airplane reader:

Sigh…#5 was a yes or no question. Good job otherwise, although as a female in 2009, you can buy things for yourself.

I must throw big complimentary hand-waves here also, for the clear (and requested) mutilation of your copy of the book. You Kindle/iPhone people are missing out on the joys of destroying something so precious with your own two hands.

(If you have no idea what’s going on, go check out the quiz, as it’s part of Chapter 2, which is excerpted in full, right here on the online internet website.)

Okay, let’s get right down to it. I’ve gotten more “why haven’t you posted about LeBron’s shot” emails than I ever got about any single subject over at YAYsports!, and the readership here is like 1/100th of what it was back then.

The fact is, I didn’t post about their Game 1 loss, and so felt it only fair to not post about the Game 2 win, lest I be labeled something I don’t want to be, like a sports writer. Here are answers to all the general Cavs-Magic issues I’ve had thrown at me:

1) My reaction to the shot was eerily similar to my reaction to Jordan’s shot 20 years ago, which is actually one of my earliest vivid memories. Stunned silence. It was a total non-reaction, as I’d already gone into “Cleveland sports fan” mode, ie I’d thrown in the towel and allowed the emptiness to creep into my soul.

I’d actually popped off texts to @alexiskn and @ColleenBurns asking them in advance not to trash talk me, because of my broken heart and low self-esteem.

(Here’s my story of the moment when I first truly understood being a Cleveland fan, if you’ve never read it before.)

2) Yeah, I was wrong about that sweep. Now you can stop sending the hilarious emails where you remind me I called for a sweep.

3) If you’re blaming this on the refs…doesn’t really work. There have been too many calls for sure, but it hasn’t been one-sided, and if there were ever a year the league and 20 different companies are obviously pulling for two certain teams, it’s this one. The conspiracy would go the other way.

4) As you can expect, I blame most of this on LeBron. Forget his stats – I haven’t seen Angry LeBron yet, and he needs to realize and accept that they need him to go play inside. I know he hates it, but with no post presence, they’re finished. And wow – when Dwight Howard is in foul trouble, take it to him every single time.

5) Related to that, the two big leads were built by starting off the game going to Z. This gets him going, and also opens everything up. I said all year they wouldn’t win in the Playoffs playing outside-in against a good team, and that’s exactly what they’ve been doing.

I really have no true predictions for tonight, but I’m mentally prepared for them to lose in some horrific fashion.

UPDATE: Here’s that second word cloud that incorporates GOt – thanks again to orange50.

So regular superstar reader orange50 did a word cloud for this site, and the word cloud either wants me to talk about drywall more, or just likes drywall, or maybe the word cloud started that drywall Facebook group I’ve been harassing.

Personally, I like how it says “super pretentious”.

Anyway, look. I’m serious about this sweep. People underestimate the the triangulation of Cleveland’s defense, Orlando’s sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, and that LeBron hasn’t needed to dominate yet.

Not that he hasn’t dominated, but it’s all be very organic. He hasn’t needed to take the game by the neck, and snap its neck, and then like tease all the people in the family about the neck breaking he did.

Thoughts on the triangulation?

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here – it’s available in paperback, or iPhone/Kindle for only 1.99.)

Yo – Prelude to a Super Airplane is on sale for 1.59 on Kindle/iPhone – so go get it if you haven’t. Paperback is 11.99. This will remain at the lower prices between now and when WSM? comes out.

Brad Radby’s Brad Radby is 4.99 paperback, and Kindle/iPhone is a scant .99.

(This will probably always remain like this, since it’s like completely for free over at the website, anyway – I recommend reading about Will Smith’s only Radby film, Brad Radby’s A Place at the Table.)

If any of you who have already read either or both of these wanted to leave a note/review over on Amazon, it’d be awesome and I really, super appreciate it to the tune of 47-stories. I don’t ask for much and hate being a huckster or any sort.

I can’t promise you anything other than a thank you note with a small, personally autographed gold bar valued at over $40,000 inside.

So like yeah – I know a lot of you have read this already, so I apologize for this useless post. Let me give you this, then: CAVS IN FOUR.

Valkyrie is out on DVD this week, and this is a piece of the web advertising:

I don’t understand how this clears marketing – it looks like some kind of Caveman-Jason Priestly-Tom Cruise amalgam, doesn’t it?

Finally, there’s nothing sadder than when this person starts following you on Twitter, and then it turns out she’s just a spam account.

A lot of you may think everything I do online takes place right here, or on Twitter, or on Facebook, or on the secret message board I’m a part of, or at Eastham’s site, or on my other three blogs that I haven’t told you about, and the truth is, that’s all true.

What you don’t know is that in exactly zero of those places am I doing anything of substance, except for the occasional “in praise of Lost” post, or the accusatory “NBA on Twitter” thing that makes everyone upset.

Like my friend Jason and I joined this Drywall group over on Facebook, and are sharing valuable info like the following.

Brian Spaeth wrote
at 1:08pm
Just put up some up – looks great. Will paint it tomorrow with some paint.

Jason Allen (Charleston, SC) wrote
at 1:16pm
How do I get rid of all of the drywall dust I have created?

I think what we can all take from this is that I’m a real jerk.

It’s not that I’m making fun of drywall enthusiasts, it’s that I want them to wonder why I would post that there. And why I’ll post this tomorrow:

Did that painting. Missing the look of the drywall. Might start over.

Or this after that:

Re-did the drywall. Broke my leg. :(

So there you go – I recommend the group – highly resourceful group of drywall pals.

Cavs in four – don’t let the onslaught of boredom induced sensationalism influence what this series really is. One team that’s ready, and one that has Rafer Alston as their point guard.

All these sweeps are odd – this has actually been the most restful part of the Cavs’ season. They’ve played eight games in a month. You’d think they weren’t even in the Playoffs.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)

During Cavs-Hawks: Part 1 (of 4) lasterday, I noted the Wendy’s commercial where the guy grows up and eats chicken sandwiches for his entire life.

I’ve seen this a bunch of times, but this was the first instance where I really watched it. To be totally honest, it made me do a genuine LOL because it was so depressing.

This is what I said on Twitter:

The Dos Equis guy would steal the Wendy’s dude’s chicken sandwich and then tell his wife he owns a castle.

I want to make an alternate one where like he leaves his wife and has like an awesome life as a fighter pilot or a professional boxer. He can still eat the sandwiches – that thing is ripe for parody.

In other Twitter related news, Bruce’s Yams sent Miss Destructo a 20-lb box of yam product, and she’s talking to the marketing department. She has a seductively yam-like video up of the carton unpacking.

I’ve decided my next agenda item is to find other companies not using social media, and send them my official “Tempest, Sirs” letter.

Let’s start with…Sports Clips. Who wants a job? I’ll fill in your name and contact info.

Speaking of Twitter, the music composer for WSM?, Dan Coe, is on there now – you should follow him. He can tell you about the dead body and the coyote in the basement we encountered during post-production.

Seriously though – how do you feel about that Wendy’s commercial? It makes me want to cry – and not in the good way.

(Follow me on Twitter here.)
(Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)