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Uncling

Easter All Night

by Brian on March 3, 2010

in Family,Hockey,Holidays,Music,Uncling

sharksLast year, for reasons of my own, I taught my nieces a new mantra for Easter.

It was a simple and joyful, “EASTER IN YOUR FACE!”

They were three at the time – in retrospect, perhaps it was immature of me to do this to (for?) them.

Being that they’re almost four, it’s time to tell them how adults celebrate Easter joy with a new phrase, “EASTER ALL NIGHT!”

It’s not so much a phrase as a party anthem.

Imagine the Black Eyed Peas taking these words and turning them into a song, and you’ll get what I’ll be going for.

Like Fergie sings the first part and then Waylon or Wilbie or whatever their names are sings the after-shout portion.

EASTER ALL NIGHT! (EGGS)
EASTER ALL NIGHT! (EGGS)
EASTER ALL NIGHT! (EGGS)
EASTER ALL NIGHT! (EGGS GOTTA GET EM)

Like all their songs, that’s all there is to it, and it goes on for ten minutes and sells a zillion copies.

I’m told that last year EASTER IN YOUR FACE! came out at completely inappropriate times, and this is why I’m the best uncle ever, and probably shouldn’t consider fatherhood anytime soon.

Also, I like hockey now.

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I had to call up GoDaddy DOT COM this morning to cancel a domain that automatically renewed when I didn’t want it to do that.

When the guy went to put me on hold, he asked me if I wanted “music” or “peace and quiet” – the way it was asked made it sound like this was a new policy. I’ve never heard of any company doing this – just thought it was interesting.

(I asked for “whatever’s easier for you” and he gave me peace and quiet.)

I’m down to 36 domains, which is great. It used to be like in the 60s.

Cavs beat the Heat last night, and it was another scary one, ala the Wiz game.

Three quarters of “close game”, followed by a turning up of the notches, and a fourth quarter assault. You could notice it pretty easily in the fourth when they said, “okay, let’s turn up the D and go win this.”

The difference between now and during the win streak is they were playing with that full-on intensity for all four quarters before, which resulted in all those blow-outs.

Hard to complain about a team that’s 26-4, but if they keep doing this, one of these mid-level teams is going to sneak up and steal one. There’s no wiggle room in the showdown with the BOS.

I think they know this, based on what you read. They don’t strike me as playing lazy so much as just kinda “playing”. Is there a difference? I dunno – they did miss a lot of layups lasterday.

(NOTE: 24 Hours of LeBron on NBATV starting at 1pm eastern. It’s starting with LeBron’s first game, which is a happy, because I never actually saw the first quarter.

If you remember, his first NBA game was a back-to-back on TNT, and they were committed to showing the entirety of the first game, which ran way, way over. That was a tumultuous night in my life to be sure.)

I think I’ve got Twitter figured out, but I haven’t completely deciphered my version of it yet.

While I’m starting to get the idea of the whole conversational/networking aspect, I still need to figure out what I can do to make my feed unique and worth following.

“What I’m doing right now” and/or “observations of things around me” isn’t gonna cut it, and I’m not just gonna straight spam unless I’ve proven other definitive value.

(This is how I ran YAYsports!, and how I’m running this place, as well. Four months into this new blog, I’ve gathered a nice core readership, built a backlog of good material, and found the general voice, so now I can feel comfortable to start actively cultivating a wider readership.

Thanks for being my core readership, btw. I do appreciate it.)

Two questions though – are you obligated to follow everyone who follows you? I have no idea of the etiquette.

Also, what’s up with these people who have like 12,000 people they’re following, and vice versa, twice? It seems like it would all get a little overwhelming.

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Twitter, Hair, Duplo

by Brian on December 24, 2008

in 2GG,Blackberry,Twitter,Uncling

Okay, I’m doing Twitter, but I don’t know if I’ll keep up with it. Honestly, anything I have to say to the internet, I usually flesh out right here.

I can’t see doing a “walking down the street” or “typing something into Twitter” or “making out with a bunch of girls at once again”.

I got a haircut yesterday, and it eliminated almost all my black hair left from 2WO G2N G2Y.

I’m kinda torn, because I think I like my hair dark, and plus my sister arrived over the weekend, and she said it looks better dark. I trust her judgment in such matters.

The last thing I want to do is get into some thing whereby I have to do any sort of maintenance on hair, either long or short term.

I suppose the answer to this situation will present itself.

I think my favorite toy of all the nieces’ toys are their Duplo blocks.

A lot of people will tell you that stuff like this is true skill with Legos, but I’ve built like a bunch of these towers (as seen above), and they’re super cool.

The thing is, the person who did the Star Wars thing literally couldn’t achieve what I did with my construct, because he’d keep trying to make it too advanced.

I’m getting some of these blocks for myself as soon as I get back to LA.

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Ice, Gym, Free Quickbooks Pro

by Brian on December 22, 2008

in Family,Misc,Uncling

(I’m playing with my nieces a lot. My brother’s next kid will hopefully have an aircraft carrier as opposed to a dollhouse.

This elicited a swift “No, BRIAN! Spidey does NOT take a bath!”)

Chicago is weird, because sometimes when I’m here, it seems like I fall down.

This is because of ice on the ground, which I don’t encounter in Los Angeles.

Take this morning, for example – I was walking, and then I walked on ice, and then I fell down.

As I fell, I made an audible sound that went, “Whoaaaa!!” At the moment of impact, I made another sound – this one went, “Ooooof!!”

Anyway, after that, I went into the gym, where two things happened worth mentioning.

First, this one guy was there. I’ve seen him there every morning since I got here, and every morning, he says a variation on, “Man, they should give us a prize for being here this early!”

Normally I’m just like, “Yeah, I know,” even though the fact that we’re both there at 5am every single day should mean that going to the gym that early isn’t weird, odd, or difficult in any way for either one of us, right?

So this morning, I did some actoring on him, pulling him aside and whispering, “Do you realize how many prizes we could have if we find a way to get them to start doing this? We’d get prizes every day.”

Then I looked around real suspicious-like, and said, “Let’s talk tomorrow – keep the lines open,” and walked away.

These are the things I do to amuse myself here, although sometimes I don’t even have to try. As such:

A little later, I was washing my hands, and this guy – he was maybe 45-50 – comes up to the sink next to me, and starts washing his stomach.

At the sink. In like little circles, like he was happy with a big meal he just ate.

I tried so hard not to notice this, but you couldn’t help it, and I just started laughing. I have no idea what he did next, because I scurried away, giggling like a little girl.

Big day at Staples today – they’re giving away Quickbooks Pro. Not sure what the scam is, but if you like doing finance-related math, this is a real boon for you. (It’s a $200 program.)

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Lil' Wayne, Superman, Fame

by Brian on September 17, 2008

in Celebrities,Music,Uncling

The way things work these days, one day you’re not famous at all, and the next day you’re super-famous.

I realize it doesn’t really work this way – in reality there’s a fan-base built up of a core target audience, and then there’s a roll-out to the mainstream.

Whether it’s planned or not is up for debate, and probably varies on a case-by-case basis.

Anyway, over the past two years I’ve woken up on various days, suddenly aware of who Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, and Lil Wayne were.

I have no idea how I found out about them, why I knew who they were, or anything, but there they were, and I had a full base of knowledge. Like how all little kids know about Superman.

Small aside – while visiting family earlier in the year, as an experiment, I consciously set out to introduce my nieces to Spider-Man, the Hulk, Superman, and Batman. (They are twins – just over two years old each.)

I needed to verify for sure that humans aren’t born knowing about them, like we are with “breathing”.

Anyway, it worked – they didn’t know, now they do. I also introduced them to a bunch of other phrases they could greet their daddy with.

There was nothing quite like watching my brother walk into grandma’s house and having his two innocent daughters run up to him and shriek, “I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!”

I believe, “What…? No, no, no…” was his exact response.

Yeah, so what really spurred this thought was Lil’ Wayne. I don’t get why everyone says he’s like the best rapper ever, or why he’s talked about in hushed tones like he’s the Godfather or something.

It’s like back a few years ago when Kanye West had one album that had been out for one month, but MTV treated him like Elvis. (He has proven to have longevity, so good for him.)

One thing I will say for Lil’ Wayne, is the guy has a lot of tattoos.

He reminds me of Denver Nuggets guard JR Smith, who I’m convinced went to the tattoo parlor and asked the guy to just scribble all over his arm for seventeen straight hours.

Wow, that aside turned into the rest of the post, but being that my brother and his wife (it takes two people to make a third, I am told) have last night informed me they have another offspring on the way, I am too excited to stay on point!

By the way, I’ve requested I be referred to as just “Brian” as opposed to “Uncle Brian”. Is this unreasonable?

I just remember when I was like 16 or 18 or something-teen, I started to feel dumb still calling my uncles by name with the “Uncle” in front, and I want to save my nieces from having that uncertain moment when you drop it for the first time.

In fact, I distinctly remember the first time I did it, and my brother shooting me this look that was like, “Have you gone mad?! What are you doing!?!”

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