Had I my way, I’d re-title this “Guy Hits No Skateboarding Sign With His Skateboard LOL”. The fire, the car running people over, and the SWAT team would all be incidental. That starts at like 1:09.

My friend Ben Cox interviewed someone who did steroids once, and all baseball players who say it’s useless lie.

Here’s a Becky chat to fill some space.

The start is missing because we were [...]]]> Hey so Jeff at Celticsblog officially declared that all Celtics fans have to cease calling me a fraud.

My friend Ben Cox interviewed someone who did steroids once, and all baseball players who say it’s useless lie.

Here’s a Becky chat to fill some space.

The start is missing because we were talking Lost and it’s out of context and would just be weirder than the rest of it already is.

Becky: I don’t know if anyone else would appreciate it
Becky: We’re a sick sort

Brian: Yeah true
Brian: I just like jokes SO MUCH

Becky: Jokes are radical

Brian: You’re not insomniac are you?

Becky: I don’t sleep more than a few hours at a time
Becky: Been waking up to random tapping noise that I can’t place
Becky: It is driving me slowly insane

Brian: I didn’t know this
Brian: You are like the raven and his nevermore issue he had

Becky: Are you meaning the telltale heart?

Brian: The one where the bird is like tapping on his window going CAW! CAW!

Becky: If I knew what it was I would be okey with it
Becky: But I can’t figure it out
Becky: And it’s intermittent
Becky: Not in any set intervals
Becky: It might eventually cause me to kill myself I think lol

Brian: CAW! CAW!

Becky: No no
Becky: Lub-dub
Becky: Lub-dub
Becky: Like the beating heart
Becky: Is a better poe-nalogy for this
Becky: F’sho

Brian: Did you see that trailer for Ace Ventura Jr
Brian: Direct-to-DVD

Becky: Ugh
Becky: No
Becky: That sounds like an abortion of a film

Brian: Fat kid doing Jim Carrey impression – insulting

Becky: I’d rather sit awake a full night listening to random tapping than watch that

Brian: What was his catch phrase in those?

Becky: Alrighty then?

Brian: Yeah yeah the kid says that like it’s the big moment in the trailer

Becky: My sadness
Becky: I have it

Brian: Let me see your sadness

Becky: :(

Brian: Wow

Becky: Sad, right

Brian: There it is
Brian: Yep

Becky: I ain’t neva lie

Brian: I have a cardboard cutout of Jay-z in my room it scares the crap out of me every night

Becky: I have a lifesized Shaq at home
Becky: His head is above my door

Brian: Cardboard or real shaq

Becky: When I was away at school my sister needed her door open so she could see Shaq watching over her
Becky: Neither
Becky: Wall poster

Brian: I have a Richard Gere Fathead also

Well, the Cavs got blown out last night, and luckily I’ve been more or less disconnected from this team since they didn’t try in that Washington game like two months ago.

After 2006, I kinda have them on a thin rope or however that is supposed to be said.

At least Ben Wallace is only out for 4-6 weeks and not forever – maybe he and I can be interested again for the Playoffs.

Last thing – by my determination, there are 6 of you who haven’t bought my book yet. wtf is wrong with you people? Email me and I’ll give you a special code.

I want 100% sale rate of people on this site, so I can move on to other sites like in Risk.

Tracy McGrady is going to have microfracture knee surgery solely so he doesn’t get traded.

He just officially moved into the list on the Top 10 Most Disappointing Players of All-Time, right?)

Alex Rodriguez was peering down the back alleys of [...]]]> (WSM? people – make sure to read the bottom of this post.

Tracy McGrady is going to have microfracture knee surgery solely so he doesn’t get traded.

He just officially moved into the list on the Top 10 Most Disappointing Players of All-Time, right?)

Alex Rodriguez was peering down the back alleys of the Dominican Republic, and he couldn’t believe what he was about to do.

Alex turned to look at his fake cousin – he was also in disbelief, because he didn’t have a name and wasn’t real. How did he get here?

They’d flown together on a real airplane to get here, to the Dominican. Alex Rodriguez loved airplanes – they were so pure, and just, and graceful, and airplaney.

Not like Alex himself. Not after what he and his fake cousin were about to do, which was something not at all pure, nor just, nor airplaney. It was perhaps graceful, if one were to rearrange the letters of the word into a new word that meant “bole buyer”.

“Hey, esse! Psst! Bole, bole, bole, ariba!”

Alex Rodriguez peered down the alley again, and he knew the moment was at hand.

He, Alex Rodriguez, the golden boy of Major League Baseball, was about to buy bole, the mysterious Dominican energy booster that made you get bigger and stronger, and had to be injected just like steroids, but weren’t steroids.

Natch.

“I’m so young and naive…” Alex said to his fake cousin, which meant he was saying it to himself. In any case, he had said it out loud, which had made the bole dealer giggle.

The giggle scared Alex Rodriguez, because it was the kind of giggle that was a precursor to increased muscle mass through illegal means.

Alex stood up straight, took a deep breath, and then hunched back down. This made him an inch shorter, which perhaps, along with his fake beard and Sherlock Holmes costume, would keep anyone from recognizing him.

Recognition is when people know who you are.

Even as he watched his foot step forward, Alex Rodriguez couldn’t believe he was walking down this alley. But Alex Rodriguez kept walking anyway.

(WSM? people – let me know if you got your DVDs.

I know some have arrived, but a few have gotten kicked back because of “insufficient postage”, which is bizarre because they were all exactly the same and I did it on the machine.

This is kinda why I wanted to do this through Createspace (as seen to your left), but you would’ve had to pay for them, and I couldn’t put those individualized watermarks on that way, either.

With how cursed this movie is, you had to know something would go wrong for inexplicable reasons.)

I just watched the A-Rod press conference, and I’m pretty sure ESPN reporters/anchors are dense, and A-Rod mis-planned his agenda a bit.

Some bullet-pointed thoughts:

1) “Bole” is clearly the Dominican slang for Primobolan. No doubt they [...]]]> (Happy Birthday, Michael Jordan – your gift is a horrible Tyson Chandler trade by the Hornets.)

I just watched the A-Rod press conference, and I’m pretty sure ESPN reporters/anchors are dense, and A-Rod mis-planned his agenda a bit.

Some bullet-pointed thoughts:

1) “Bole” is clearly the Dominican slang for Primobolan. No doubt they think this is like a secret street drug, however. Please someone help them clear this up.

1a) Primo is the American slang.

1b) I know these things because as you well know, I love everything steroids and HGH have to offer. They make you big and strong – that’s so cool. Plus, needles.

2) You don’t buy it “on the streets”. You can buy that over-the-counter in pharmacies down there, and it’s totally legal.

3) Ripped Fuel is an ephedra-based fat burner sold by Twin Labs, and it’s still produced, minus the ephedrine. You can still get the original if you’re clever.

3a) Ripped Fuel (the old version) works. I miss having it readily available.

4) A-Rod wants us to think he was the most naive 24-year old on Earth. Sorry – if he took it when he was 16, I’d buy the young and stupid stuff.

I simply can’t accept that someone who had been in pro baseball for six years was clueless as to what he was doing. Especially someone as obviously intelligent and savvy as Alex Rodriguez.

4a) Manny Ramirez could sell that – not A-Rod.

5) I did appreciate the fact that he sat up there and took questions, and wants to leave it behind him. He was pretty frank in many respects, and came off as very human. Go forth and do your baseballing.

Really, this entire post was for point #1, because somewhere there are any number of journalists pumping out 1000-word columns about how aghast and offended they are by the “illegal street steroid bole”, crafting awkward metaphors about Alex Rodriguez in the back alleys of the Dominican.

It’s days like this I wish I really was a robot, so I could reprogram my hearing and vision circuits to filter out any and all talk of this [...]]]> Well, as you can imagine, I’m pretty sick over the Red Sox likely coming back from down 3-1, and thus making it to the World Series.

It’s days like this I wish I really was a robot, so I could reprogram my hearing and vision circuits to filter out any and all talk of this abomination.

I dyed my hair black for this thing in Dallas – it was surprisingly easy, although I can’t imagine doing it if one were a girl and had like long hair. Have been told I did a good job – I think it looks okay.

I have been and am going to be super busy over the next week – we’re doing all the pre-production stuff, and start shooting later this week. Next Wednesday, I’d expect I can get back to regular posting.

Will try to post something from set via Blackberry from T-Mobile.