(This is my current phone b/g – I am all in on CLE basketball.
Also, this post was edited, cause it was even worse before, if you can believe that.)
So I’ve been on a few airplane rides over the past week, and on the longest of them, I spent time sitting with a girl who spilled whiskey on my leg.
She was a lot of fun, I asked if I could call her Sara, and we became best friends for 4+ hours.
We told our cool stories about our lives, and analyzed the personae of everyone around us in the most stereotypical manner possible.
After a bunch of time doing that, it was the part of the airplane ride where Sara spilled the whiskey on my leg.
I screamed, “OH NO THERE’S WHISKEY ON MY LEG!” over and over until the airplane waiter came back and asked what was wrong.
I repeated, “Oh no…there’s whiskey on my leg…” except quiet and sad this time, so Sara could see the different kind of inflections I could make my voice do.
That’s like an actoring tip. Sorry if this is hard to read.
@InflatableBen is in jail, too. The fact that these two are clearly not really Ben Wallace and Jerry Rice – and never, ever claimed to be – has eluded el Twitter.
Crippling to Team Mamba where Ben is concerned. Very disappointing – hope they clear this up.
I will get to the important issue of the Who Shot Mamba? iPhone app being available tomorrow. (Click here to go get it in the iTunes Store – it’s 100% FREE.)
In the meantime, old friend Bjorn of Half Broke Hotel shared an article with me about one of my most anticipated films of this year, The Expendables.
It features some of the biggest names of the genre – including Arnold Schwarzenegger, 62, Bruce Willis, 54, Dolph Lundgren, 52, Mickey Rourke, 57, Jet Li, 46, and Jason Statham, 37.
It also stars Brittany Murphy, who died in December of a heart attack.
Of course her death isn’t funny, but the article is all about how horrific the stunts were, the “tough legends” that have banded together, and how Stallone fractured his neck during the shoot.
If you read it all the way through, the placement of that sentence and the context makes it seem like she died of a heart attack during the shoot because she couldn’t handle how intense the shoot was.
WHERE TO WATCH THAT ISN’T SET UP YET (Should be by the end of this week – will let you know when it’s ready.)
iTunes
Tivo
Verizon Fios
DVD
We’re doing two DVDs – the first is totally bare-bones and will be available in early-December. Just the movie and the teasers, and maybe a couple extras – I might throw the mess of a script on there, actually.
The second DVD will be available later, if it’s warranted. This would have (probably) a couple commentaries, deleted scenes, bloopers, re-shoots, etc. We have a ton of material that would be really interesting – if you’ve read Prelude to a Who Shot Mamba, you know this.
DOWNLOAD OF THE FULL FILM
This will hopefully be right around the same time as the first DVD is available.
Thanks so much for all the kind words here and elsewhere – the response has been fun to see, and we all super appreciate it. Promise I will get back to more eclectic writing here – just been super busy with all this Moomba business.
So at the end of this post, there’s an embed for Chapter 1 of the broadband motion picture, Who Shot Mamba?.
Before we get there…
1) This Prelude to a Who Shot Mamba? ebook tells the entire history of the project. From blog, to 5-minute short, to full-length feature film – all in just over 3.5 years! It’s a quick 25-page read, and it’s free and fun.
2)Join the Facebook page – there are screengrabs, cast photos, and hopefully discussions that say things like, “I like this. You people did a good job. Also, you appear deceptively muscular to me.”
3) On the WSM? homepage, you can find links to all of our social networking stuff, and other business of note, including the full release schedule. Basically, we’re weekly for nine weeks, excluding two around X-Mas – we may run some deleted scenes or other fun stuff during that time.
Ummm…thanks to everyone who worked on this, and all of you who stuck with it through its tumultuous birthing process via my old site YAYsports! NBA…here it is. Smiley face.
MCM, 1889ca
Susan Cooper, Buzz Edition
Will Leitch, New York Magazine
Natalie Sitto, Need4Sheed
Jennifer Keene, Who Is Just Like A Cool Chick
JE Skeets, Yahoo! Sports
Amber Osbourne, Destructo Deviations
Henry Abbot, ESPN
Nate Jones, AOL & Jones on the NBA
Jack Kogod, KSK and Deadspin (AKA Unsilent Majority)
A lot of people asked me why these were the chosen ones, and like the answer is “because”. There are also new behind the scenes production photos on the Facebook Page, so like go there and now I will go to sleep.
This is easily the most pretentiously awesome thing I’ve ever done – please take it as it’s intended, i.e. as pretentiously awesome.
So like sorry I haven’t been around this week, but I have been really active in my social networks, so it’s not like I’m absent.
It’s interesting – like we’re in the process of building the WSM? website, but the Facebook Page is also in existence, and has everything one could want from your own page – easy to create photo galleries, video upload, message board, and more.
On top of that – and of most importance, really – the people are already there, and spreading word is as easy as one click for them. I mean, obviously you need a homepage, but does it really matter if anyone watches it there or somewhere else. I don’t think so.
I dunno – just something to think about wrt all this changing stuff de la 2009. What’s the most pretentiously awesome thing you’ve ever done on a computer.
(In the picture below, @alexiskn shows the first and second best uses for my book – as a placeholder for real books, and as the Tobey Maguire to her Joan Allen home.** You can see that it’s already infected that sad-face copy of Lord of the Flies.)
I was on IMDB looking up information on Robert Downey Jr, and came across 2006’s The Shaggy Dog. From the message board:
I saw this movie about six months ago on a field trip. The only reason that I chose this movie was that I only had four options. There was this girl from my group that was laughing every five minutes. Clearly she has no taste. Anyway, did Tim Allen have to be naked? I mean, what is so wrong with a dog with clothes on?
Someone follows up by pointing out that dogs don’t wear clothes. It turns into a heated discussion about who’s more stupid, and the scientific logic of a human turning into a dog in real life, and whether said dog would wear clothes or not.
This all brings me back to late 2004 or so, a time wherein I didn’t have a blog at all, and occasionally did background work in TV and movies.
You see, I spent about two weeks on The Shaggy Dog, and if you listen really closely, you might hear myself and some girl (as “Courtroom Gallery Members”) screaming, “OH F–K!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA GET AIDS!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!” when we were supposed to be “confused and a little surprised” regarding Tim Allen barking in the middle of court.
I’m not actually onscreen there as more than a shoulder, but I did make it in during the restaurant scene, when Kristin Davis is stood up by her naked dog husband. I’m the guy in the v-neck sweater fake-eating salmon. The twist is that I real-ate five plates of that stuff, and that’s because I was hungry.
I’m sure I have a ton of stories like this, but I’ve largely blocked out the +/-6 months I spent doing background actoring – it’s an awful way to spend time, although highly educational with regard to how sets work.
You can also meet lots of girls, and learn the delicate art of not committing suicide after spending a day around little kids who have better careers than you.
I’ll be at the doctor this afternoon, and will do my best to Tweet the entire thing, as mentioned the other day. First person to correctly guess what the appointment is for wins their own colorful and lifesaving copy of PTSA.
**Reading it is actually the tenth best utilization of the book.
(Follow me on Twitter here.) (Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here – it’s available in paperback, or iPhone/Kindle for only 1.99.)
As you know, I’ll never apologize for how much I amuse myself, and sometimes when I amuse myself, I also have actual good ideas.
This popped out of me on Twitter lasterday.
I might start a website called “Idiotic Things I Have Said to Famous People on Twitter”.
I’d probably want to limit it to people in the NBA, just because that doesn’t seem so much like harassment, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun. For example, I’ve said all of these purely by accident.
@jalenrose I like when the ball goes through the hoop and goes SWOOSH!
@paulpierce34 Hey Paul not to be forward but my girlfriend said to ask if you would like to have a romantic lunch date with her.
@paulpierce34 I wrote a movie called Paul Pierce: The Movie and in it you are shopping for Happy Birthday presents for your friends.
@THE_REAL_SHAQ What you think of this beat: Boom-boom cheh, da-boom-cheh-cheh, boom-boom-da-doom (in the 09…09) – thx
Okay, so the Brad Radby book – yesterday you got the Foreword. Here’s a link to the Introduction, by none other than Eastham Way.
I want to get into the movies, though. And I would stress, if you’re gonna read this online, do it in order.
While it’s very skip-aroundable in many aspects, there is a definite narrative, especially inside the production notes.
Brad Radby’s first released movie was Dragon’s Game, which came out in 1999. It was the start of a major new franchise for Bruce Willis, wherein he played a college football coach in Hawaii, who was also an action detective.
His main nemesis was always the President, and in the glory days of the franchise, this was a role inhabited by Keanu Reeves. An excerpt from Brad’s own summary of the movie:
When Bruce wakes up he’s in a coffin, and the coffin is hanging off a bridge, and when Keanu blows up the bridge, that’s how he’ll kidnap the scientist from his electric magnet car, and then he’ll get the stolen cold fusion recipe, which the scientist took because Keanu wants to tie the cold fusion to a missile and shoot it at other countries.
Keanu explains this to Bruce, and when Bruce tries to be sneaky and get out of the coffin, Keanu is like “no-no-no” with his finger.
Dragon’s Game was one of the first of these that I wrote, and came from some throwaway thing in PTSA, when I needed to name one of Brad’s movies. At the time, I had no idea what it would be.
(The Amazon one isn’t up yet – as soon as it goes live, I’ma link up this and PTSA so you can get both for some kind of exciting discount. The Kindle version is indeed active.)
And just in case you need to make me feel horrible about my click-thru stats, here’s @ColleenBurns from Twitter – feel free to go meet her instead of reading my free and hilarious book.
In her background picture, she’s like, “Hello! Here I am!”
(Follow me on Twitter here.) (Download the first 55 pages of my epic, pretentious, and stupid book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, here.)
(This is my current phone b/g – I am all in on CLE basketball.
I will get to the important issue of the Who Shot Mamba? iPhone app being available tomorrow. (Click here 
(
Quick links of the past three days guest posts:
Today I want to talk about the TEMPEST again.
