Why The Browns Should Hire Jim Tressel

batman pop funkoMy dad(dy) sent me an electronic mail message asking my thoughts on whether former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel should be considered for the Browns open head coach position.

If you’ve listened to my recent appearance on Waiting For Next Year’s sports podcast, you know my response amounted to, “Are you going to see the Jack Ryan reboot with Captain Kirk. That Chris Pine sure is charismatic. I bet it will be at least watchable, just because of his screen presence.”

The elder Spaeth’s reply piqued my interest, however.

All I can tell you he’s been a big winner wherever he’s been. I know part of that is recruiting (remember [your high school friend]). Some college guys make it, some don’t. I think it’s better than the mediocrity floating around the NFL right now. Plus the fans would love it and give him a chance. Please start the ball rolling.

Not an exact translation, but I read that as, “It can’t be worse than some some random NFL coordinator, and at least it will be interesting.”

In that same spirit, I’m also thinking they should hire no other coaches, assistants, coordinators, or anything. Just the team and Tressel on the sideline. And one cheerleader.

If you’re gonna lose, lose curiously.

The biggest takeaway here is that my dad uses two spaces after a comma, I never noticed before, and I can’t handle it.