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Archive | Animals

Do Butchers Form Personal Connections to Particular Pieces of Meat

July 2, 2012 by Animals Food

gray george foreman grillMy grocery store experience left me a bit unsettled yesterday.

As I browsed the various packages of chicken breasts on display, one of the butchers stood behind me staring.

Make no mistake – she wasn’t waiting to stock the section or anything – she was watching me.

I’m almost certain I’m not on any of the Meat Theft Watch Lists, which left one conclusion. It was a conclusion I tapped into my phone as fast as I could, so that I could recount it here later.

sometimes i am buying meat and the grocery store person comes out and is watching me and i can tell she is like worried i will take her favorite one and i’m like hey this is just meat if you didn’t want to sell it you shouldn’t have asked the meat company to make it stop being an aminal anymore and we look at each other and she takes off her apron and quits and i steal the meat because of overshooting my food budget again because of those extra pretzels last week i bet she wants to kiss me

I didn’t really buy pretzels last week, but the rest of that happened, and my only conclusion is that this woman became distraught over my possible selection of the chicken breasts that she either wanted for herself or for a more worthy customer.

There’s no doubt my cooking technique of “put them on the George Foreman Grill with no seasoning nor sauces” was transparent, and wasn’t going to make for anything close enough to fine dining for this woman’s pseudo-children.

The big lie is I did buy pretzels last week. That’s the point in case you’re being dense.

My One True Passion

May 8, 2012 by Animals Books-I-Wrote Vlogs

who shot mamba brian spaeth(This post was inspired by Chris Brogan’s recent post about passionate blogging.)

This year I came to the conclusion that I had my hands in way too many things, and subsequently cut a few out.

It was a matter of being spread too thin – creating a lot, but no real time to promote any of it like it needed to be.

Thus, I had to figure out what I really wanted to do most with my time. To be cliche, what’s my passion.

I’ve discovered this is a really important thing to do, and rather than take you through my personal process, I’d rather just tell you my conclusion, and hope that it inspires you to take a similar look at how you spend your time.

This may surprise you, but at my absolute foundation, the one thing I’m 100% passionate about isn’t books or movies or storytelling of any kind at all.

My passion is that I’ve never seen a horse in real life.

So many times I’ve come close, but it’s never happened, and if I have 7,000,000 breaths left in my body, each one will in some way be spent feeding my raw, savage desire to never see a horse.

It drives me every day, and I derive amazing amounts of joy from it. Every time I turn a corner or finish doing a jumping-jack and a horse isn’t there, it’s like some magical form of intangible euphoria rushes through me.

Attaining that feeling – that’s passion, and I’m fortunate to have realized it while I’m still deceptively muscular.

What’s your passion based on seeing horses or not. If it’s not based on that, maybe read this again, while paying better attention to the deep subtext.