A Proposal

By On April 14, 2010 · 6 Comments · In Friends, Girls

President Keanu(I sent this to a friend lasterday, and I thought it was so useful as a legal document template, I asked her if I could put it here, also.)

The following shall constitute the full and complete agreement between Brian Spaeth (MALE FRIEND) and [redacted] (FEMALE FRIEND).

On this date, April 13, 2010, both parties agree that they shall become BEST FRIENDS.

As such, the following EVENT shall be executed in full, naturally and without further explanation or reminders:

1) On a tri-monthly basis, MALE FRIEND and FEMALE FRIEND will engage in beer conversation for an extended period late into the night and accidentally KISS on purpose.

2) Upon conclusion of said KISS, MALE FRIEND will execute a dramatic EXHALE and back away at a moderate pace no more than four (4) feet with a “I am surprised but c’mon this was inevitable” look on his FACE.

3) Once MALE FRIEND has stopped his backward motion, FEMALE FRIEND will put her hand over her mouth and almost cry for a split second, then pick up her MOBILE PHONE and call [redacted] (BOYFRIEND).

4) No less than 20 seconds into the MOBILE PHONE CONVERSATION, FEMALE FRIEND will mention in an awkward yet casual fashion that MALE FRIEND has been in the hospital with BRONCHITIS for three (3) days.

5) During this CONVERSATION, MALE FRIEND will open a carton of MILK, take off his SHIRT, and go drink MILK in the middle of a RAINSTORM.

NOTE: If no RAINSTORM is happening, both parties agree to act as if there is a RAINSTORM.

6) At the conclusion of her CONVERSATION, FEMALE FRIEND will run into the RAINSTORM to find MALE FRIEND, but will only find the empty MILK carton crushed on the sidewalk, and also his wallet and a brand new LOLLYPOP.

7) Neither party will speak of the EVENT until the next time the EVENT is due to occur, at which time the EVENT shall be repeated, but without referencing that a similar EVENT has happened before, AND NO TALKING ABOUT IT.

Both parties agree that the EVENT is done in the best interest of both parties, as well as all associated parties, including but not limited to BOYFRIEND and [redacted] (MOTHER).

Signed and Dated:

 
  • http://depotwarehouse.net Ebonwumon

    Can I get one of these for male friend + other male friend?

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    Yeah this open source – feel free to use as needed. I am like a free lawyer.

  • aurora00

    That is awesomesauce.

  • farwyde

    I want a LOLLYPOP. In a RAINSTORM, preferably. Sans CONVERSATION. The End.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    I feel like the looming threat of planetary decimation at the hands of evil aliens should cast a pall on the night of beer conversation, even if there are no aliens hovering over the major cities of the world (yet). It brings it all home in a nice way.

  • http://preludetoapretentiousreview.blogspot.com/ Kingsley Le Corbusier

    I feel like the looming threat of planetary decimation at the hands of evil aliens should cast a pall on the night of beer conversation, even if there are no aliens hovering over the major cities of the world (yet). It brings it all home in a nice way.