Well…today is the 30th anniversary of Home Depot and I think you know that means I want to talk about Home Depot and maybe go to Home Depot and when I get there I will say HAPPY BIRFDAY to everyone in the whole store and they will know how happy I am for them and even though they haven’t worked there since the start of Home Depot I will make them feel like they’re a real part of the team and that’s good for morale and even though I don’t work there or have anything to do with them other than the time I bought some lumber and a hammer and then had to go back and buy nails to complete the project I feel a great affection for the company because we used some of their ICONIC orange buckets as background props in the dead snake movie that starts running on 9/15 and also other orange stuff that we bought at the 99 cent store and man oh man there’s another thriving company selling everything for 99 cents but not as thriving as Home Depot because thirty years is a long time to be selling plants and hammers and lumber and drills and sinks and sod and whatever else they sell maybe light bulbs (sp?) but they only started selling those like ten years ago so the glass-light-givers will be shunned by me when I go in to do my big HAPPY BIRFDAY Home Depot parade that I’ll have and maybe I’ll try to drive my Japanese brand SUV right through the front door as a type of symbolism for Pearl Harbor.
I missed you guys after all the Saved By the Bell Begins action last week. Tell me about the last time you were in Home Depot. Or Lowe’s – that’s fine, also.
